Until one day, they come and make your whole world collapse with only one sentence: \u201cWe need to talk.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n
Then pops up those 5 heartbreaking words: \u201c<\/b>It\u2019s not you, it\u2019s me,<\/b>\u201d with your soon-to-be-ex wearing that puppy-eyed look.<\/b><\/p>\n
Come\u00e7amos a sentir uma montanha russa de emo\u00e7\u00f5es a dominar-nos e as l\u00e1grimas come\u00e7am a cair-nos pelo rosto.<\/p>\n
You’re not sure how to interpret those words… Is it truly the way your partner feels, or is it just a regular separa\u00e7\u00e3o<\/a> excuse? And I’m here for you today to help you find out and clear your doubts.<\/p>\n I don’t know what is with these ‘men,’ if I can call them that anymore, nowadays… It’s like the bed is the only place they actually have balls.<\/i><\/p>\n If you don’t like someone anymore, come clean about it. If you’ve cheated on your partner<\/a>, you owe them an apology \u2013 you can’t use a breakup to get away with it.<\/p>\n You’re guilty of someone’s<\/b> desgosto,<\/b> <\/a>e tudo o que fizeste foi inventar uma p\u00e9ssima frase de despedida. Quero dizer, a s\u00e9rio, <\/b>gajo<\/b>? That’s a real cowardly act.<\/b><\/p>\n It also may have several ambiguous meanings… Ironically, it almost never means what it actually means because most people only use it as a breakup excuse.<\/p>\n In most cases, this breakup phrase simply means…<\/i><\/p>\n ‘You did absolutely nothing that could make me break up with you, but still, I have to do it because I feel <\/i>a relva \u00e9 mais verde <\/i><\/a>on the other side’ <\/i>\u2013 I’m sure this is the scenario that has been playing in the heads of all those who use ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ as an excuse to leave someone in a “nice way.”<\/p>\n On the one hand, they’re actually right because it is them \u2013 they’re a pessoa que iniciou a rutura<\/a> porque t\u00eam outros interesses.<\/p>\n On the other hand, they also use it so they don’t complicate things any further and so they don’t look bad for leaving their partner for someone else.<\/p>\n Embora esta frase pare\u00e7a clara, pode ter uma <\/b>significado oculto<\/b><\/a>.<\/b> Pode ser apenas uma forma de manipula\u00e7\u00e3o. Uma manipula\u00e7\u00e3o em que nunca se deve cair.<\/p>\n I’m sure they did not only leave you with this awful breakup line but that they also did it via social media… Am I right? Well, you’re obviously dealing with a chicken here who doesn’t have the guts to break up with you in person.<\/p>\n Pensam que se assumirem totalmente a culpa, tudo ficar\u00e1 bem. <\/b>Sim, seria bom se fosses um idiota de merda!<\/p>\n But with your common sense, you can\u2019t and shouldn’t accept that <\/b>eles est\u00e3o apenas a engan\u00e1-lo<\/b><\/a>. <\/b>O meu conselho em mat\u00e9ria de rela\u00e7\u00f5es \u00e9 que deve confront\u00e1-los. Fa\u00e7a-os admitir a verdadeira raz\u00e3o para acabarem consigo.<\/p>\n “Why are you such <\/i>um cobarde<\/i><\/a>? Why don\u2019t you stand in front of me and have your heart on your sleeve?<\/i><\/p>\n Diz-me se n\u00e3o \u00e9s j\u00e1 n\u00e3o se sente atra\u00eddo por mim<\/a>. Tell me if I gained some weight and you don\u2019t consider me hot anymore.<\/i><\/p>\n Whatever the reason is just tell me, okay? Because I won\u2019t buy that clich\u00e9 that it\u2019s all about you.”<\/i><\/p>\n The relationship is made of two people (3, 4, 5\u2026as you like it) and the point is that each and every person has something to do with the breakup.<\/i><\/p>\n It\u2019s not as simple as you think.<\/p>\n If you’re someone who used this <\/b>linha de separa\u00e7\u00e3o<\/b><\/a> para terminar a sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o, basta travar e pensar no seu parceiro por um segundo. <\/b>Gostariam de saber onde estava o problema. Para os dias vindouros. Para parceiros por quem se apaixonar.<\/p>\n That won’t make you feel better about your mistake. So, just be honest. That\u2019s the least you can do for the person you shared everything with.<\/p>\n \u00c9 preciso ter em conta que tudo acabar\u00e1 por ser revelado.<\/b><\/p>\n Every lie, every secret. Everything will be revealed and you can\u2019t do anything to make it stop.<\/i><\/p>\n That\u2019s the way that cookie crumbles. So, if you\u2019ve stopped loving your partner, you need to admit it to them. That’s the only way you’ll ease your conscience.<\/p>\n Mais f\u00e1cil para quem? Para quem <\/i>a <\/i>dumpee<\/i><\/a>? For the person who didn’t deserve it at all because all they did was love you too deeply and without any limits?<\/i><\/p>\n N\u00e3o h\u00e1 forma de lhes facilitar a vida. <\/b>And if you’re trying to ease their pain by leaving them in this awful way, you’re only complicating things even more and only prolonging their agony and pain.<\/p>\n That’s not how things function in real life. Ser abandonado por algu\u00e9m que se ama mais do que tudo vai doer, independentemente da forma como a separa\u00e7\u00e3o ocorre. <\/b>That’s the kind of pain that can’t be reduced or eased in any way.<\/p>\n On the flip side, it may also mean…<\/i><\/p>\n This is the literal meaning behind this phrase. ‘It’s not about you, it’s about me’ may really mean that the problem is with them, that they did something and aren’t able to forgive themselves.<\/i><\/p>\n Talvez at\u00e9 tenham tentado esquecer o assunto e seguir em frente, mas ele continuou a assombr\u00e1-los.<\/b> They couldn’t stay with you under such pressure and decided that ending things would be the best thing.<\/p>\n But again, their actions are still deeply unfair, and they’re still (unintentionally) hurting you.<\/b> Admitir os seus erros e assumir toda a responsabilidade pelos mesmos era a \u00fanica coisa correcta a fazer neste caso.<\/p>\n Esta \u00e9 a raz\u00e3o mais comum pela qual a maioria dos <\/i>fim das rela\u00e7\u00f5es<\/i><\/a>: <\/i>comunica\u00e7\u00e3o pouco saud\u00e1vel e irregular.<\/b><\/p>\n Penso que todos <\/i>especialistas em rela\u00e7\u00f5es<\/i> concorda que n\u00e3o h\u00e1 <\/i>rela\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel <\/i><\/a>sem uma comunica\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel.<\/i> There has to be understanding in relationships, but that doesn’t mean that your partner must read your mind because none of us have those abilities.<\/p>\n The thing is that if you don’t address things that are bothering you in your relationship in time, you’ll end up bottling them up inside. <\/b>You’ll keep bottling and pilling them up inside until one day…<\/p>\n BOOM<\/b> ? Acontece uma enorme explos\u00e3o e queima a vossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o at\u00e9 ao fim.<\/p>\n Al\u00e9m disso, os quest\u00f5es n\u00e3o resolvidas<\/a> may create an aversion to your partner. You’ll understand that your feelings have changed, which will lead you to make this decision.<\/p>\n If you’ve noticed that your partner has <\/i>sa\u00fade mental<\/i> ou <\/i>autoestima<\/i><\/a> problemas ou alguns problemas com os seus <\/i>melhores amigos<\/i> and family, there is a possibility that is the real reason why they’re dumping you.<\/i><\/p>\n Quando uma pessoa est\u00e1 a lutar com <\/b>baixo <\/b>autoestima<\/b><\/a>, tornam-se propensos a pesar <\/b>rela\u00e7\u00f5es de trabalho<\/b> que t\u00eam com outras pessoas.<\/b> Perguntam-se constantemente se merecem realmente ser amados e, infelizmente, isso quase nunca acaba bem.<\/p>\n If you feel that this may be the case with your partner, then don’t insist on finding out the real reason for your breakup. Leave them alone, give them time to think about it all, and sort out their feelings in peace.<\/p>\n O seu parceiro pode tamb\u00e9m ser <\/i>dificuldades em assumir compromissos<\/i><\/a>, and maybe it’s really about them. They just can’t enter into a <\/i>rela\u00e7\u00e3o s\u00e9ria,<\/i> and they don’t want to keep leading you on.<\/i><\/p>\n Qu\u00edmica forte<\/b><\/a> e <\/b>compatibilidade<\/b><\/a>… Love… Trust… You see, all those things are irrelevant if someone doesn’t sincerely feel ready to commit to someone else.<\/b><\/p>\n There is that inner voice in them that keeps telling them they’re making a mistake. That they should enjoy their single life a little while longer.<\/p>\n Se reparou nos padr\u00f5es de <\/b>fobia de compromisso<\/b><\/a> in your partner, it’s possible that they didn\u2019t use ‘<\/b>it’s not you, it’s me<\/b>‘ as a <\/b>desculpa de separa\u00e7\u00e3o<\/b> \u2013 it\u2019s a <\/b>fugir da desculpa do compromisso<\/b><\/a>.<\/b> They really feel that way and don’t want to hurt you anymore.<\/p>\n Se o seu parceiro vier ter consigo com isto <\/i>linha de separa\u00e7\u00e3o<\/i>, the most important thing for you is to keep calm. Don’t react immediately.<\/i><\/p>\n Tomar uma <\/b>respira\u00e7\u00e3o profunda<\/b> antes de dizeres alguma coisa. E depois, digam o que vos vai no cora\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/b><\/p>\n No entanto, se precisar de ajuda, aqui est\u00e3o duas respostas atrevidas<\/a> a esta frase de despedida muito foleira.<\/p>\n Lutaram muito para manter a vossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o. Por isso, n\u00e3o h\u00e1 raz\u00e3o para estar triste e n\u00e3o h\u00e1 raz\u00e3o para se arrepender de nada.<\/p>\n You’re the one that can leave the relationship with their head held high because you know you did absolutely nothing wrong.<\/b><\/p>\n That’s why you should agree with your partner that it’s not you \u2013 it’s them. And you shouldn’t feel bad about anything.<\/i><\/p>\n There is no need for name-calling and insults… There is no need for vingan\u00e7a<\/a>… Keep the beautiful memories from your relationship, accept the reality, and seguir em frente<\/a>.<\/p>\n You are the person on the receiving end, but you’re also strong enough, and I know you can handle the truth. N\u00e3o era para ser assim<\/a>, and that’s a fact you’ll need to come to terms with.<\/p>\n No entanto, tente carregar no bot\u00e3o de replay na sua mente sobre toda a sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o. Pense em todas as coisas de que teve de abdicar por causa deles. Pense em todos os sacrif\u00edcios que teve de fazer para os fazer felizes.<\/i><\/p>\n Eles perderam algu\u00e9m que os amava verdadeiramente e que estava disposto a abdicar de tudo por eles. Tu, por outro lado, perdeste algu\u00e9m que nunca esteve pronto para retribuir esses sentimentos.<\/b><\/p>\n O que interessa \u00e9 que \u00e9 bastante \u00f3bvio de quem \u00e9 a perda, por isso n\u00e3o se preocupe com isso. Se eles quiserem sair, mantenha a porta aberta<\/a> para eles.<\/p>\n \u25fe And one thing you should not by any means say when someone is using this breakup excuse to get rid of you is…<\/p>\n Who cares now? It’s over, they’re leaving you, and that’s all that is important. That’s the only focus right now.<\/p>\n And the absolute worst thing you could do at that moment is to say ‘<\/b>Eu amo-te<\/b><\/a>‘ to them, to the person who’s leaving you. <\/b>That’s a huge no-no that will only make you look miserable. That’s not how you’ll vencer a separa\u00e7\u00e3o<\/a>.<\/p>\n Passei por uma situa\u00e7\u00e3o semelhante na minha vida e, acreditem, tentar manter a pessoa que desistiu de mim h\u00e1 tanto tempo continua a ser o meu maior erro e arrependimento.<\/p>\n They’re breaking up with you, and there is your answer. Know that<\/i> se eles te amam, nunca te virariam as costas<\/i><\/a>, aconte\u00e7a o que acontecer.<\/i><\/p>\n If your partner gives you the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ discurso de despedida<\/a>, try to understand them. After all, the truth is, it’s difficult to live with someone who wants all or nothing.<\/p>\n Estava apaixonada, encantada e obcecada por algu\u00e9m que n\u00e3o a merecia, que n\u00e3o a merecia de todo.<\/p>\n Agora, t\u00eam de o aceitar e aceitar o facto de que os vossos cora\u00e7\u00f5es deixaram de bater um pelo outro. O jogo acabou agora.<\/i><\/p>\nWhat Does It Mean When They Say, ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’?<\/h2>\n
![\"a](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/the-woman-argues-with-the-man.jpg\")
<\/p>\n\u2022 Classic breakup excuse<\/b><\/h3>\n
\u2022 Cowardly act<\/h3>\n
\u2022 Relief of conscience<\/h3>\n
\u2022 Making it easier<\/h3>\n
![\"uma](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/a-disappointed-woman-sits-and-looks-in-front-of-her.jpg\")
<\/p>\n\u2022 Admission of guilt<\/h3>\n
\u2022 Unaddressed and unresolved issues<\/h3>\n
\u2022 Emotional\/physical\/mental health issues<\/h3>\n
\u2022 Commitment issues<\/h3>\n
How Do You Respond To ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’?<\/h2>\n
![\"a](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/the-woman-looks-confused-at-the-man-as-they-talk-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\n\u2714\ufe0f You’re damn right; it’s not me, it’s you<\/h3>\n
\u2714\ufe0f It’s your loss, not mine<\/h3>\n
\u2716\ufe0f \u201cI just want to know, do you still love me?\u201d<\/h3>\n
Em poucas palavras<\/h2>\n
![\"um](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/a-man-and-a-woman-sit-at-a-table-and-talk-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\n