{"id":21948,"date":"2018-08-16T12:36:42","date_gmt":"2018-08-16T12:36:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=21948"},"modified":"2023-09-21T11:21:03","modified_gmt":"2023-09-21T11:21:03","slug":"o-horoscopo-mais-engracado-e-mais-brutal-para-os-signos-do-zodiaco","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/o-horoscopo-mais-engracado-e-mais-brutal-para-os-signos-do-zodiaco\/","title":{"rendered":"De LOL a Ouch! Signos do Zod\u00edaco classificados do mais engra\u00e7ado ao mais selvagem! \ud83c\udf1f\ud83e\udd23"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. \u00c1ries<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

You are one of the funniest zodiac signs, but people don\u2019t see that right away. Only when they spend some time with you and when you relax, they will see how fun to talk to and easy going you are.<\/p>\n

Whenever you talk, everyone else listens, but once you finish half of the joke, people are already rolling around on the floor laughing. You have a talent for telling funny stories, and when you tell some, you never laugh. Maybe that\u2019s why people find it interesting and fun.<\/p>\n

You got used to crap in your life, so there will be a lot of times when you will do something that is not good for you, but you won\u2019t admit it because you are ashamed of people\u2019s reactions. You fall in love pretty easily, so you will have a lot of partners. You will never be able to get over the previous one and fully be in love with the next one, so you will always fight with women.<\/p>\n

\u00c9s um amigo muito dedicado, pelo que os teus amigos se sentir\u00e3o protegidos e seguros quando estiverem contigo. Quando algu\u00e9m te toca onde \u00e9s sens\u00edvel, mostras-lhe o teu lado mauz\u00e3o, e os teus cornos v\u00e3o provavelmente parar ao rabo dessa pessoa.<\/p>\n

2. Touro<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Somos como uma montanha russa de emo\u00e7\u00f5es a toda a hora. Num momento est\u00e1 em alta e noutro est\u00e1 t\u00e3o em baixo que ningu\u00e9m o consegue ajudar. Mas o mais importante \u00e9 que se encontra sempre uma sa\u00edda.<\/p>\n

Your main characteristic is that you like to exaggerate, so you will tell people that you did something even if you didn\u2019t just to look good in their eyes. For example, you can tell someone that you slept with that hot girl standing at the bar just to show them what you are capable of.<\/p>\n

But in fact, that was the first time you saw that girl. You like to show off because that is what makes you feel good. You are always in a hurry, but in fact, you don\u2019t know where to go. You are energetic, anxious and pushy, and you want to finish things on time.<\/p>\n

Gosta de ter sempre raz\u00e3o e, por isso, se quiser, pode discutir com qualquer pessoa. \u00c9 isso que o realiza e o faz sentir-se bem consigo pr\u00f3prio. \u00c9 bastante teimoso, por isso \u00e9 prov\u00e1vel que guarde rancores e culpe os outros por coisas que nunca fez.<\/p>\n

Mas, apesar de tudo, tens um cora\u00e7\u00e3o puro e limpo e um sorriso de um milh\u00e3o de d\u00f3lares!<\/p>\n

3. G\u00e9meos<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

\u00c9s uma esp\u00e9cie de mistura de fil\u00f3sofo e comediante. No in\u00edcio, \u00e9s muito t\u00edmido, mas quando conheces as pessoas \u00e0 tua volta, descontrais-te e come\u00e7as a contar todo o tipo de coisas malucas.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 ansioso e calmo ao mesmo tempo, e est\u00e1 sempre a preocupar-se com as coisas pequenas. Brigas sem sentido com pessoas idosas e sente-se bem quando as v\u00ea a fugir de si.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t know how to dance well, so you get drunk at parties, and you look like you are hunting someone in the room. People like you because you are fun and easygoing, but the truth is that you don\u2019t love people\u2014only those who, by your taste smell well.<\/p>\n

You pay attention to personal hygiene, so you will take a shower 3 times a day if needed, but you don\u2019t want people to tell you that you stink. When with women, you think of all the things you will ask them in advance just to make sure that everything goes by plan. You are pretty anxious, and sometimes that is what makes you look so funny but at the same time sweet and positive.<\/p>\n

4. Cancro<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

O problema \u00e9 que te metes em tanta merda a toda a hora e, em vez de contares tudo aos teus amigos, gozas contigo pr\u00f3prio e com a tua m\u00e1 sorte.<\/p>\n

Ainda bem para si que, hoje em dia, n\u00e3o h\u00e1 problema em gozar consigo pr\u00f3pria, porque ningu\u00e9m vai achar isso estranho. N\u00e3o \u00e9s o tipo de pessoa que gosta muito de sair, por isso podes ficar em casa durante 2 semanas e ainda assim divertires-te.<\/p>\n

You are also not talented for any sports because you lose your breath even when you climb the stairs. That\u2019s why every day for you is Friday and a Netflix kind of chill, and you enjoy it. You are a good friend, and people often take advantage of that.<\/p>\n

Even if you are the friend who always drives drunk people home, they don\u2019t cherish you for that. Maybe it is the truth that you simply have bad luck and that no matter how much you try, you can\u2019t be happy and relaxed because danger might always come uninvited.<\/p>\n

5. Le\u00e3o<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

N\u00e3o \u00e9 desconhecido que gosta de estar no centro das aten\u00e7\u00f5es onde quer que v\u00e1, mas para a maioria das pessoas isso \u00e9 irritante como o cara\u00e7as. Est\u00e1s sempre a interromper os outros enquanto falas. Apanhas todas as raparigas, mesmo que j\u00e1 tenhas uma, e competes a beber cerveja s\u00f3 para te exibires \u00e0 frente de algumas raparigas.<\/p>\n

Mas o problema \u00e9 que, por baixo de tudo, h\u00e1 um rapaz t\u00edmido que s\u00f3 quer ser apreciado e aceite. Esta \u00e9 a \u00fanica raz\u00e3o pela qual faz merdas como bater com a porta quando algo n\u00e3o \u00e9 como queria e agir como um mauz\u00e3o \u00e0 frente dos seus advers\u00e1rios.<\/p>\n

A \u00fanica coisa que \u00e9 importante para ti \u00e9 que as pessoas gostem de ti e que vejam em ti um her\u00f3i. Acredites ou n\u00e3o, ainda vives no tempo dos her\u00f3is que salvam o mundo, e tu consideras-te o principal deles.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t think falling in love is important, so you\u2019d rather seduce a couple of girls at the same time, promise eternal love to each one of them, and vanish as soon as you get in their panties.<\/p>\n

6. Virgem<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

A coisa mais engra\u00e7ada sobre ti \u00e9 que \u00e9s um louco por limpeza! Limpa at\u00e9 os lugares que n\u00e3o s\u00e3o seus, como as casas de banho p\u00fablicas ou os transportes p\u00fablicos.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t live where it is a lot of dirt, so going for a barbecue in nature is a mission impossible for you. And because of that, your friends laugh at you. They can\u2019t believe that someone is obsessed with cleaning so much. It is like you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder.<\/p>\n

But no matter how much everyone laughs at you, you never stop what you started. You always make sure that you wear underwear, two socks of the same color, and your hair needs to be air-dried every time to prevent damaging. You always take care of yourself, and you can\u2019t relax.<\/p>\n

Mas deve saber que demasiadas preocupa\u00e7\u00f5es podem fazer com que fique mal visto perante os outros e esgot\u00e1-lo totalmente. Por isso, seria \u00f3timo se pudesse travar e saia da sua zona de conforto<\/a>. Tenho a certeza de que vai gostar.<\/p>\n

7. Balan\u00e7a<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

You are crazy as fuck and whatever you say becomes a hilarious joke! You like to tell jokes about others but about yourself as well. That\u2019s why people like you, and they always spend time with you.<\/p>\n

Your bad side is that you like to tell some white lies which always make you look better than you are. You don\u2019t do that because you are evil but just so people would accept you more easily.<\/p>\n

Quando estamos com mulheres, contamos-lhes coisas s\u00e9rias sobre as nossas aventuras \u00e0 volta do mundo, salvando crian\u00e7as inocentes e velhinhas. Fazes isto s\u00f3 para lhes parecer bem aos olhos e para lhes entrares mais facilmente nas cuecas.<\/p>\n

Se pensarmos melhor, parece que a \u00fanica coisa que nos mant\u00e9m vivos \u00e9 o sexo com estranhos e a cerveja importada. Provavelmente venderia a sua pr\u00f3pria m\u00e3e por uma oportunidade com um bom par de pernas, e depois dormiria como um beb\u00e9.<\/p>\n

8. Escorpi\u00e3o<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

The thing about you is that you think that you are funny, but you are actually not. Wherever you tell jokes, people just roll their eyes and leave the room because you tell some things that a child in 2nd grade wouldn\u2019t tell.<\/p>\n

But that is not the reason to not laugh at your own jokes and make others think what the hell is wrong with you. You are pretty relaxed in life, so it doesn\u2019t matter to you if you wear a creased shirt and if your pants are dirty from yesterday\u2019s football game.<\/p>\n

You still think that you are amazing and because of that you have enormous self-esteem which nobody can ruin. With girls, you are pretty honest, and you don\u2019t know to play mind games to bring them into bed.<\/p>\n

Em vez disso, usam-no de todas as formas poss\u00edveis, mas nunca pensa mal deles porque \u00e9 um verdadeiro cavalheiro.<\/p>\n

9. Sagit\u00e1rio<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Quando entra na sala, todos se calam porque sabem que vai dizer algo engra\u00e7ado. Ou provavelmente trope\u00e7ar\u00e1s em alguma coisa no ch\u00e3o e cair\u00e1s, para te rires com eles tamb\u00e9m.<\/p>\n

You are so clumsy, and you never even try to work on that. You just go with the flow, and you don\u2019t worry what will happen next.<\/p>\n

Even when you are trying to seduce a woman, you don\u2019t try so much, so there is a chance that you will try to seduce a girl while there is bolognese sauce around your mouth. You think that enjoying life is the most important thing and that you shouldn\u2019t sweat the small stuff.<\/p>\n

You live every day like it is your last, and you don\u2019t regret all the things you did. If you had another chance, you would probably do them in the same way.<\/p>\n

10. Capric\u00f3rnio<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

You don\u2019t like to laugh and to share your \u2018moments\u2019 with others. Instead, you always remain serious, and you keep your mouth shut, looking at others and evaluating them in your head.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why some people might think of you as a weird guy who just sits in the company of people he never shares anything with. But you have a hard time relaxing in front of strangers, especially when you know that if you say something, it would probably be the dumbest thing ever.<\/p>\n

That happens because you are pretty nervous, and you would like others to like you. So, those who don\u2019t know you can give up on trying to talk to you because all they will get is a cheesy face and a fart because of your anxiousness.<\/p>\n

Por vezes, \u00e9 melhor deixar as pessoas em paz do que pression\u00e1-las, certo? Caso contr\u00e1rio, podem acontecer coisas muito graves!<\/p>\n

11. Aqu\u00e1rio<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

You do whatever you like and you don\u2019t give a damn about what others might think about it. You hobby is singing, and you do it no matter where you are. In most cases, it looks like someone shot you, and you are crying because of the pain.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why people find you annoying because they see that you don\u2019t think of them at all. You see that you are sometimes annoying as well, but you don\u2019t give a fuck about that. You have a restless spirit ,and if you want to run around naked, you will do that.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t mind what people might think about you, and you always do things your way. In love you are extremely relaxed, so in most cases, your partner will leave you because you didn\u2019t make enough effort.<\/p>\n

You think that once you find a partner, you don\u2019t need to do anything else, but that way of thinking can sometimes cost you a lot.<\/p>\n

12. Peixes<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

The catch about you is that you want to be funny by telling jokes about sex, but you don\u2019t know that you tell those jokes badly, so you should quit telling them.<\/p>\n

You are always trying to show off to those around you, telling things that didn\u2019t happen. You want others to look at you like at God himself, but you are not doing anything to be the best version of yourself. You don\u2019t know how to keep secrets, so most people find you childish.<\/p>\n

You always say that you will do something, but in the end, you do whatever you want. You have a soft heart for animals, and you suffer when they suffer, but you don\u2019t mind if some people die. You think that it is the way things are supposed to happen, and you just get over it. You are pretty funny by just showing up because you never know how to match your pants with your shirt.<\/p>\n

E a melhor parte \u00e9 que metade do teu rabo pode ser visto sempre que te curvas. Sim, tal como um canalizador!<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. Aries You are one of the funniest zodiac signs, but people don\u2019t see that right away. Only when they spend some time with you and when you relax, they will see how fun to talk to and easy going you are. Whenever you talk, everyone else listens, but once you finish half of the…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":21949,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29662],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21948","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-zodiac-chit-chat"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29662,"label":"zodiac chit-chat"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/lidya-nada-638316-unsplash.jpg",800,529,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Lorena Thomas","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/lorena\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29662,"name":"zodiac chit-chat","slug":"zodiac-chit-chat","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29662,"taxonomy":"category","description":"There are so many interesting facts about astrology, and this is where you'll find them. Dive in and have fun exploring various topics on love and life.","parent":29658,"count":384,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29662,"category_count":384,"category_description":"There are so many interesting facts about astrology, and this is where you'll find them. Dive in and have fun exploring various topics on love and life.","cat_name":"zodiac chit-chat","category_nicename":"zodiac-chit-chat","category_parent":29658}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21948","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21948"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21948\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21949"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21948"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21948"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21948"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}