{"id":27675,"date":"2020-04-13T10:56:48","date_gmt":"2020-04-13T10:56:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=27675"},"modified":"2021-12-03T22:30:10","modified_gmt":"2021-12-03T22:30:10","slug":"8-fases-de-cura-depois-de-escapar-ao-gaslighting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/8-fases-de-cura-depois-de-escapar-ao-gaslighting\/","title":{"rendered":"8 est\u00e1gios de cura depois de escapar do Gaslighting"},"content":{"rendered":"

N\u00e3o tenho vergonha de o dizer, j\u00e1 n\u00e3o tenho. Fui emocionalmente abusada. Fui enganada todos os dias na minha rela\u00e7\u00e3o infernal.<\/p>\n

Ele esfor\u00e7ou-se tanto para me convencer todos os dias de que eu \u00e9 que era a louca. Mudou objectos de lugar no apartamento e convenceu-me de que tinha sido eu.<\/p>\n

He told stories about me, about things which I\u2019d never done and he convinced me that I had done but I was too embarrassed so I buried them deep inside my mind.<\/p>\n

He isolated me from all of my friends so I don\u2019t get any support whatsoever. He apologized, although he never meant it; it was just to get me back into the relationship.<\/p>\n

And if that didn\u2019t work, he insulted me and put me down. He wanted me to feel insignificant. He needed that to control me.<\/p>\n

Negou a minha realidade. Menosprezava-me e fazia-me duvidar de mim pr\u00f3prio. Dizia sempre que ele tinha raz\u00e3o e que eu estava errada.<\/p>\n

Ele disse que eu precisava de confiar nele porque o meu discernimento era fraco. Que eu era louca e precisava de ajuda e que ele estava l\u00e1 para ajudar.<\/p>\n

O seu abuso era perfeitamente \u00fanico. Os ilumina\u00e7\u00e3o artificial<\/a> era a forma perfeita de me controlar e abusar emocionalmente de mim. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Conseguiu mudar a minha vis\u00e3o do mundo, o meu sentido de identidade e a minha cren\u00e7a em mim pr\u00f3prio.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I ended up questioning everything and everyone. I didn\u2019t have a voice of my own and even when it appeared, I\u2019d silence it because I didn\u2019t trust it. I didn\u2019t trust myself.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t make the simplest choices. I couldn\u2019t decide what was right and what was wrong.<\/p>\n

Estava traumatizada e precisava de encontrar uma sa\u00edda.<\/p>\n

I wish I could tell you that I found a clear solution to finding peace at last but I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Lutei e cada dia era mais dif\u00edcil do que o anterior.<\/p>\n

But the one thing I can tell you is the fact that you\u2019ve realized you\u2019ve fallen too deep into the pit and that you need help is the best start you could wish for.<\/p>\n

Healing from gaslighting is a terribly bumpy road. I\u2019ve had ups and downs but along the way, I rediscovered myself.<\/p>\n

I remember who I used to be and I\u2019ve probably learned so much more than I ever would have if it wasn\u2019t for my complete breakdown.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t tell you what to do exactly or how to heal and forget about the pain. No one could tell me either. But I can show you how I rediscovered myself.<\/p>\n

Posso contar-vos algumas coisas inesperadas que, ao longo do caminho, me ajudaram a reerguer-me.<\/p>\n

Fugi para o mais longe que pude do meu acendedor de lampi\u00f5es<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

This can be horrific. Some people have to cut off family bonds, some people need to move away. I had to go no contact. And you may think it\u2019s an easy thing to do.<\/p>\n

One should think it\u2019s perfectly logical. If someone causes you pain, you leave them.<\/p>\n

But you can\u2019t even begin to imagine what it feels like to leave someone who has made you believe you\u2019re emotionally and physically dependent on him.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re scared to make a move without that person. You\u2019re scared that he was right all along and you\u2019re not going to make it without him.<\/p>\n

Admiti para mim pr\u00f3prio que fui abusado<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Deixei de fugir da realidade. Enfrentei a coisa horr\u00edvel que me aconteceu.<\/p>\n

Disse a mim pr\u00f3pria que tinha sido v\u00edtima de abuso emocional e que me tinham enganado, levando-me a pensar que estava louca.<\/p>\n

N\u00e3o havia nada de errado comigo e a culpa nunca foi minha. A minha vis\u00e3o do mundo estava errada e os meus sentimentos estavam distorcidos.<\/p>\n

A minha mente tinha sido enganada e eu precisava de aceitar isso.<\/p>\n

Permiti-me cometer erros<\/h2>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

Depois de o deixar, precisava de ter a certeza de que tudo o que fiz estava certo. Significava muito para mim.<\/p>\n

Because when you\u2019ve been trapped in a relationship where your abuser is constantly telling you you\u2019re no good, you\u2019re incompetent, that you don\u2019t do anything right, it takes its toll on you.<\/p>\n

Come\u00e7a-se a acreditar nela.<\/p>\n

Mas todos cometemos erros e era imposs\u00edvel para mim fazer tudo corretamente.<\/p>\n

Assim, passado algum tempo, apercebi-me de que a minha necessidade de fazer tudo na perfei\u00e7\u00e3o n\u00e3o era mais do que o resultado de um trauma.<\/p>\n

Making mistakes was the most humane thing I could do. I accepted it and it taught me that it\u2019s perfectly fine to make mistakes.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t make me special, it doesn\u2019t make me stand out from the rest of the world. I was just like everyone else. I was human.<\/p>\n

Permiti-me sentir<\/h2>\n

\"Uma<\/p>\n

Quando se deixa um rela\u00e7\u00e3o emocionalmente abusiva<\/a>, you feel relieved, maybe even happy. But that feeling doesn\u2019t last for long.<\/p>\n

Ainda h\u00e1 anos de dor, raiva e frustra\u00e7\u00e3o escondidos atr\u00e1s dessa falsa apar\u00eancia de felicidade.<\/p>\n

It takes a lot of time to deal with all those emotions that haunt you still because you\u2019re not over them yet.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve not fully accepted all the pain you\u2019ve felt or why, because of him.<\/p>\n

Fiz as minhas pr\u00f3prias escolhas<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

I had no clue what was right and what was wrong and I couldn\u2019t make a decision. Whichever road I took, it seemed wrong.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s because I didn’t trust myself.<\/p>\n

Since I didn\u2019t have a voice of my own in the relationship, I didn\u2019t even know what it was exactly that I wanted, which made the decision-making process even harder.<\/p>\n

Decidi acabar com isso e comecei com pequenas coisas. Comecei a tomar pequenas decis\u00f5es, como a hora de ir para a cama ou o que vestir para uma reuni\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

No in\u00edcio, era assustador. Tinha sempre a certeza de que tinha feito a escolha errada.<\/p>\n

Mas, passado algum tempo, todas essas pequenas escolhas come\u00e7aram a saber bem. E, passado algum tempo, era perfeitamente capaz de come\u00e7ar a fazer escolhas maiores e mais importantes.<\/p>\n

Decidi pedir ajuda<\/h2>\n

\"m\u00e3e<\/p>\n

S\u00f3 precisava de uma pessoa de confian\u00e7a com quem falar. Precisava de algu\u00e9m que me ouvisse. Precisava de apoio. No in\u00edcio, tinha medo de dar este passo.<\/p>\n

Porque admitir o abuso emocional significava que eu tinha falhado. Significava que tinha deixado algu\u00e9m fazer-me de parvo, que tinha deixado algu\u00e9m humilhar-me.<\/p>\n

Mas se tiveres um amigo, um familiar ou se quiseres ajuda profissional, vai ter com eles.<\/p>\n

Ajudam-te a lidar com todos esses sentimentos contradit\u00f3rios que sentes. Ajudam-no a resolver o caos que se passa na sua cabe\u00e7a.<\/p>\n

Abracei as minhas vulnerabilidades<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

People see strong people as people who don\u2019t take any bullshit from anyone. But that\u2019s not true. Strong women can get abused too.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not a choice you make.<\/p>\n

Saying that you\u2019ll never let anyone hit you is not something that depends on you. It depends on the violent side of your relationship.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, you don’t even have to be physically abused to call it abuse.<\/p>\n

O abuso psicol\u00f3gico, o gaslighting e a neglig\u00eancia s\u00e3o tamb\u00e9m formas de abuso que s\u00e3o ainda mais dif\u00edceis de provar ou ultrapassar.<\/p>\n

Por isso, pensei que, devido \u00e0 minha personalidade simp\u00e1tica, era eu a culpada de ter sido v\u00edtima de abuso emocional. Pensava que era demasiado simp\u00e1tica e que deixava as pessoas passarem por cima de mim.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

But that is not true. The fact that I\u2019m too nice is not my disadvantage. It\u2019s a personality trait that proves I\u2019m an empath<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Significa que me preocupo com as pessoas.<\/p>\n

After being gaslighted, I realized that I have to accept who I am. I decided I wouldn\u2019t be ashamed of being loving or compassionate.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not my fault that I\u2019ve had to deal with an abuser who decided to take advantage of that.<\/p>\n

Podia facilmente ter encontrado algu\u00e9m que gostasse disso em mim, algu\u00e9m que me valorizasse e me mantivesse segura para o resto da minha vida.<\/p>\n

But, this time, I wasn\u2019t that lucky.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve accepted that he is not the last abuser I\u2019m going to meet<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

It\u2019s possible I\u2019m going to meet another abuser in my life. It\u2019s possible that I\u2019m going to be abused one more time but in a different way.<\/p>\n

Maybe this time it\u2019s going to be different and I won\u2019t be able to recognize it.<\/p>\n

Emotions are unpredictable and they can be very uncomfortable and it\u2019s easier for me now that I\u2019ve faced the fact it can happen again.<\/p>\n

It won\u2019t be as horrible as the first time but at least I\u2019ll know how to find a way out.<\/p>\n

A \u00fanica coisa que sei neste momento \u00e9 que preciso de ser honesto comigo pr\u00f3prio.<\/p>\n

Preciso de ser realista em rela\u00e7\u00e3o aos meus sentimentos e nunca mais os guardar dentro de mim.<\/p>\n

Embrace your truth like I did and don\u2019t focus on being happy all the time. Let time do its thing and in the meantime, discover yourself. Eventually, you\u2019ll heal.<\/p>\n

\"8<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m not ashamed to say it, not anymore. I was emotionally abused. I was gaslighted every single day in my relationship from hell. He worked so hard on convincing me every single day that I was the crazy one. He moved items in the apartment and he convinced me I did it. He told stories…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":79176,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29636],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-help"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29636,"label":"self help"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/8-Stages-Of-Healing-After-Escaping-Gaslighting.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29636,"name":"self help","slug":"self-help","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29636,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","parent":22911,"count":314,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29636,"category_count":314,"category_description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","cat_name":"self help","category_nicename":"self-help","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27675"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27675\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/79176"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27675"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27675"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}