{"id":33171,"date":"2020-09-19T11:55:42","date_gmt":"2020-09-19T11:55:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=33171"},"modified":"2022-03-01T23:17:25","modified_gmt":"2022-03-01T23:17:25","slug":"deixei-de-ser-demasiado-simpatica-porque-estava-farta-de-ser-tomada-como-garantida","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/deixei-de-ser-demasiado-simpatica-porque-estava-farta-de-ser-tomada-como-garantida\/","title":{"rendered":"Deixei de ser \"demasiado simp\u00e1tica\" porque estava farta de que me tomassem por garantida"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ali estava eu outra vez, a pagar um pre\u00e7o elevado pela minha gentileza, a afogar-me em l\u00e1grimas por ter sido tra\u00edda por algu\u00e9m em quem confiava plenamente, por algu\u00e9m a quem tinha dado o meu melhor.<\/p>\n

The only thing that separated this particular moment from all the similar ones in the past is that this was the last drop that spilled the cup, this was the moment when I\u2019d finally j\u00e1 tinha o suficiente<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t decide to change completely and become a heartless bitch.<\/p>\n

I still wanted to be one of the nice girls but I knew it was high time to erase the word \u2018too\u2019 that came before \u2018nice\u2019.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 que eu era uma daquelas pessoas que eram admiradas e lamentadas ao mesmo tempo.<\/p>\n

My friends would say, \u201cShe is too nice, too good, too amazing and that\u2019s exactly what makes her the absolute worst for herself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Infelizmente, tinham raz\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Eu era o meu pr\u00f3prio inimigo e ser demasiado simp\u00e1tico com as pessoas<\/a> foi a causa da minha auto-destrui\u00e7\u00e3o. Fez-me falhar tanto nas rela\u00e7\u00f5es amorosas como nas amizades.<\/p>\n

\"Retrato<\/p>\n

As minhas rela\u00e7\u00f5es falharam porque eu dava demasiado, demasiado cedo. Eu esfor\u00e7ava-me para fazer a outra pessoa feliz.<\/p>\n

Fui demasiado compreensivo e complacente.<\/p>\n

Por exemplo, eu enviava mensagens ao meu ex assim que o meu telem\u00f3vel se acendia, apesar de ele me ter ignorado completamente durante a maior parte do dia.<\/p>\n

Eu deixava-o voltar para a minha cama, apesar de ele me ter abandonado.<\/p>\n

Him being there, him serving me crumbs, was enough for me back then. For the life of me, I don\u2019t know how it could ever be enough and how I didn\u2019t realize sooner that he was only taking advantage of my feelings.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t even aware of what I was doing for the better part of the time. I would do things without even thinking about them.<\/p>\n

Eu esfor\u00e7ava-me sempre mais, dava mais e trabalhava mais, por isso, no final, ele e cada um dos meus ex. tomavam-no como garantido.<\/p>\n

Alguns dos meus amigos, ou melhor dizendo ex-amigos<\/a>, weren\u2019t far behind.<\/p>\n

Eu era o exemplo cl\u00e1ssico de um acomodado e de um convencido e eles aproveitaram-se disso.<\/p>\n

\"Rosto<\/p>\n

They knew they could count on me and rely on me no matter what. That it didn\u2019t matter whether it was day or night, I was there for them.<\/p>\n

Mas, surpresa das surpresas, sempre que precisei que eles fizessem o mesmo, nunca estavam l\u00e1.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Sempre que precisei de um ombro para chorar, n\u00e3o encontrei nenhum, enquanto o meu ainda estava molhado da \u00faltima vez que precisaram dele.<\/p>\n

Eu estava l\u00e1 para os levantar e fazer com que se sentissem melhor consigo pr\u00f3prios e quando eu estava em baixo eles s\u00f3 me ajudavam a ficar em baixo.<\/p>\n

Precisava de me endurecer e mudar a minha maneira de ser o mais rapidamente poss\u00edvel. Precisava de dizer adeus a algumas pessoas na minha vida.<\/p>\n

I needed to say goodbye to being \u2018too nice\u2019. I needed to learn how to be nice to myself for a change.<\/p>\n

Todo o amor, compreens\u00e3o, gentileza e bondade que eu tinha dado aos outros de forma t\u00e3o altru\u00edsta, comecei a dar a mim pr\u00f3prio.<\/p>\n

Toda a for\u00e7a e determina\u00e7\u00e3o que tinha demonstrado quando se tratava de lutar por eles, redireccionei-a para mim pr\u00f3prio.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s no surprise that my life changed for the better.<\/p>\n

O que eu aprendi \u00e9 que as pessoas nos tratam como n\u00f3s as ensinamos a tratar-nos. Se permitirmos que nos tratem mal e nos espezinhem, elas tratam-nos de certeza.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

So, I stopped making efforts for those who weren’t making any for me.<\/p>\n

I stopped texting and calling those that weren\u2019t making any real effort to be in my life.<\/p>\n

I started investing equally instead. I learned to match people\u2019s efforts.<\/p>\n

A reciprocidade \u00e9 o que est\u00e1 em causa; eu mere\u00e7o todo o tempo, afeto e aten\u00e7\u00e3o que continuo a dar aos outros.<\/p>\n

Preciso de algu\u00e9m que me devolva todas essas coisas sem esfor\u00e7o. Algu\u00e9m que me encontre a meio caminho.<\/p>\n

I stopped saying \u2018yes\u2019 to get-togethers, ideas, and plans I didn\u2019t want a be a part of.<\/p>\n

I started saying \u2018no\u2019 more often and I realized that it is a very powerful world. It doesn\u2019t need any additional explanations.<\/p>\n

My time is precious and valuable and I choose how I spend it. I don\u2019t want to waste it anymore. I will do nice things for other people but not at my own expense.<\/p>\n

I stopped apologizing for other people\u2019s mistakes.<\/p>\n

\"uma<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t be the only one to blame, not everything is my fault and I am not responsible for the moods of other people.<\/p>\n

Now, I only take accountability for my own actions. I don\u2019t burden myself with other people\u2019s feelings as much as I used to and I started caring for my own feelings for a change.<\/p>\n

I stopped being \u2018too nice\u2019 because I had been left without a choice, I was tired of feeling unseen and taken for granted and it was the best decision I ever made.<\/p>\n

A minha vida agora s\u00f3 inclui as pessoas que est\u00e3o dispostas a dar tanto quanto recebem, pessoas que me amam por causa de mim e n\u00e3o por causa do que posso fazer por elas.<\/p>\n

People who appreciate and respect me because I won\u2019t allow anybody to mess me around.<\/p>\n

Continuo a ser uma boa pessoa, mas deixei de exagerar em ser simp\u00e1tica e comecei a ver o meu pr\u00f3prio valor.<\/p>\n

Sou agora uma vers\u00e3o nova e melhorada da mulher simp\u00e1tica que costumava ser.<\/p>\n

\"Deixei<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There I was again, paying a high price for my niceness, drowning in tears because I had been backstabbed by someone I completely trusted, by someone I had given my best to. The only thing that separated this particular moment from all the similar ones in the past is that this was the last drop…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":122580,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/I-Stopped-Being-\u2018Too-Nice-Because-I-Was-Tired-Of-Being-Taken-For-Granted-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33171"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33171\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/122580"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33171"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}