{"id":39085,"date":"2019-06-25T07:43:32","date_gmt":"2019-06-25T07:43:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=39085"},"modified":"2022-02-23T00:37:11","modified_gmt":"2022-02-23T00:37:11","slug":"finalmente-descobri-porque-e-que-sou-um-iman-para-homens-toxicos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/finalmente-descobri-porque-e-que-sou-um-iman-para-homens-toxicos\/","title":{"rendered":"Finalmente descobri porque \u00e9 que sou um \u00edman para homens t\u00f3xicos"},"content":{"rendered":"

A minha vida amorosa \u00e9 uma grande hist\u00f3ria confusa e os meus ex foram uma desilus\u00e3o t\u00f3xica atr\u00e1s da outra.<\/p>\r\n

It was really hard to handle. I would get my hopes up, thinking to myself \u201cfinally somebody normal,\u201d then suddenly all whole toxic hell would break loose. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

O abuso emocional come\u00e7aria. Fazer-se de v\u00edtima, culpabilizar, julgar, criticar e tudo o que segue o padr\u00e3o de manipula\u00e7\u00e3o t\u00f3xica<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\r\n

O mesmo cen\u00e1rio repetia-se e eu sentia que me estava a afogar nas minhas pr\u00f3prias l\u00e1grimas, na minha pr\u00f3pria dor.<\/p>\r\n

Com cada desilus\u00e3o, o meu cora\u00e7\u00e3o partido ficava mais fraco, as feridas mais profundas e todo o meu ser emocionalmente esgotado. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

\"Finalmente<\/p>\r\n

I knew that something was off. I couldn\u2019t pin it all down to bad luck and their emotional instability. That there was something about me that they were drawn to.<\/p>\r\n

Mas o que \u00e9 que foi?<\/p>\r\n

Terei feito algo de errado? Haver\u00e1 algo de errado dentro de mim que desencadeia esse comportamento mau?<\/p>\r\n

Estava a dar comigo em doida a pensar em todos os cen\u00e1rios poss\u00edveis que respondiam \u00e0 raz\u00e3o pela qual todas as minhas rela\u00e7\u00f5es estavam condenadas a um fim t\u00e3o horr\u00edvel. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

I can\u2019t tell you the exact day, but somewhere down the line, it all became clear to me. When I finally found myself again, when I was far from my last toxic ex, I found reasons why toxic men are drawn to me as if I were a magnet.

It wasn’t one thing, it was a number of small subconscious things I was doing out of love. Also, I possess traits toxic men lack but desperately want to have.<\/p>\r\n

My last relationship was proof of that. I\u2019ll explain a few of my toxic relationships through this last one because that\u2019s when I decided that enough is enough. I deserve better.<\/p>\r\n

Eu era demasiado compreensivo<\/b><\/p>\r\n

\"Finalmente<\/p>\r\n

Para ser mais sincera, arranjei sempre desculpas para todas as merdas que ele fazia. Eu amava-o tanto que permitia que ele me desrespeitasse.<\/p>\r\n

Por exemplo, eu estava toda aperaltada para o nosso encontro \u00e0s 20 horas e ele chegava \u00e0s 22 horas. Discut\u00edamos um pouco e depois ag\u00edamos como se nada tivesse acontecido.<\/p>\r\n

On other occasions, he would play texting mind games with me. For instance, he wouldn\u2019t text me back until the next day.<\/p>\r\n

I would say to myself that he probably went to bed early or he would tell me some lame ass excuse. It doesn\u2019t matter; I didn\u2019t sleep all night thinking about all the worst case scenarios.<\/p>\r\n

Eu estava demasiado dispon\u00edvel<\/b><\/p>\r\n

Pegava no telefone no momento em que ele ligava, independentemente do tempo que ele me ignorava antes disso.<\/p>\r\n

He would prioritize his friends, family, work, hobbies\u2026 but never me. I always came last. I was always available when it was convenient for him to come over or go somewhere.<\/p>\r\n

Basicamente, ele tomou-me por garantida porque viu que podia.<\/p>\r\n

Confiei nele, apesar do meu melhor ju\u00edzo <\/b><\/p>\r\n

As hist\u00f3rias que me contava, as desculpas que me dava, pareciam todas improv\u00e1veis e, por vezes, at\u00e9 irrealistas, mas eu preferia acreditar nele.<\/p>\r\n

In reality, I knew better. I just wanted to believe him because I liked him\u2026 because I cared\u2026 because I wanted him to be someone I can trust.<\/p>\r\n

Nunca devia ter ignorado o meu instinto que me estava a mostrar todas as bandeiras vermelhas.<\/p>\r\n

Jogou a carta da empatia<\/b><\/p>\r\n

\"Finalmente<\/p>\r\n

Eu sou um emp\u00e1tico<\/span><\/a>Eu simpatizo muito com as outras pessoas, especialmente quando h\u00e1 sentimentos rom\u00e2nticos envolvidos. Ele viu isso em mim. Viu-o e usou-o contra mim.<\/p>\r\n

Ele contava-me uma hist\u00f3ria triste sobre como a vida o tinha tratado mal, como n\u00e3o tinha sorte, como a sua ex era uma cabra e como lhe faltava amor na vida.<\/p>\r\n

I would buy into that crap and I would justify his lousy behavior. I would forgive him before he even had the chance to say \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

Dei o meu cora\u00e7\u00e3o e a minha alma \u00e0 rela\u00e7\u00e3o e n\u00e3o recebi nada em troca <\/b><\/p>\r\n

I didn\u2019t mind making more effort than he did. I did it without even thinking about it. But the more I gave, the emptier I felt because I didn\u2019t get anything in return.<\/p>\r\n

Soon, I started to feel like he didn\u2019t care for me at all. I missed a listening ear and tight hugs on gloomy days. I missed someone with whom I could share my happiness, instead of being jealous of it.<\/p>\r\n

Sentia falta de harmonia, de paz e de um sorriso sincero no meu rosto. Sentia falta de tudo isso e mesmo assim fiquei.<\/p>\r\n

I don\u2019t know why, though.<\/p>\r\n

It\u2019s easier to rationalize now that I am far away from him and the whole situation. But when I was there, I couldn\u2019t help but feel all the emotions so intensely and I couldn\u2019t pull myself together. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

Tive momentos de lucidez. Estive em situa\u00e7\u00f5es em que sabia que partir era a melhor coisa a fazer. Quando eu chorava dia e noite por causa de algo que ele fazia ou deixava de fazer.<\/p>\r\n

I should\u2019ve walked away then, in one of those moments where I was angry, hurt, and saw him for who he really was. I shouldn\u2019t have stayed; I was only giving him another chance to hurt me.<\/p>\r\n

Fiquei mais tempo do que devia porque acreditava que as coisas podiam ser resolvidas. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

I was so incredibly wrong. You can\u2019t fix what\u2019s already broken. You can\u2019t change a man who doesn\u2019t feel the need to change himself.<\/p>\r\n

Agora j\u00e1 sei isso. Sei todos os erros que cometi em todas as minhas rela\u00e7\u00f5es e n\u00e3o estou disposto a repeti-los.<\/p>\r\n

J\u00e1 n\u00e3o sou um \u00edman para homens t\u00f3xicos. Sou o que quer que seja o oposto. <\/b><\/p>\r\n

Aprendi a reconhecer os sinais de alerta e a evitar homens t\u00f3xicos. Aprendi que tenho de me respeitar e amar para que os outros fa\u00e7am o mesmo.<\/p>\r\n

I\u2019ve established boundaries I\u2019m no longer crossing. I\u2019ve become a woman<\/a> que cresce em confian\u00e7a a cada dia que passa.<\/p>\r\n

The one who speaks up when she is not treated right. The one who forgives but doesn\u2019t forget. I\u2019ve become a woman who will never tolerate anybody\u2019s toxicity again.<\/p>\r\n

\"Finalmente<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":39101,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/shutterstock_1339397624-14.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39085"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39085\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39101"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}