{"id":40861,"date":"2019-07-23T10:57:54","date_gmt":"2019-07-23T10:57:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=40861"},"modified":"2021-08-11T13:35:17","modified_gmt":"2021-08-11T13:35:17","slug":"5-coisas-que-nao-aprendeste-porque-es-filho-de-um-alcoolico","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/5-coisas-que-nao-aprendeste-porque-es-filho-de-um-alcoolico\/","title":{"rendered":"5 coisas que n\u00e3o aprendeste porque \u00e9s filho de um alco\u00f3lico"},"content":{"rendered":"

A tua inf\u00e2ncia fez de ti o que \u00e9s hoje. As coisas que viste e viveste acompanham-te ao longo de toda a tua vida.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, that\u2019s a beautiful thing if you remember your childhood in beautiful pictures; if you have happy memories which make your heart warm every time you think of them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mas o que \u00e9 que acontece quando essas fotografias n\u00e3o s\u00e3o assim t\u00e3o bonitas? O que acontece quando s\u00f3 nos lembramos da dor e do sofrimento causados por aqueles que supostamente nos deviam amar e proteger?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s something you\u2019re carrying throughout your whole life. It\u2019s something that can consume and destroy you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sadly, you\u2019re blaming yourself for not being able to fight the demons haunting you from the past. But what you fail to see is that it\u2019s not your fault. You weren\u2019t supposed to have that crappy childhood, and you couldn\u2019t choose the life to live. You got what you got\u2014an alcoholic parent.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not your fault because you were the victim of someone else\u2019s mistakes and wrong moves. You were a victim, and you are a victim now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And because of that, your life is not easy, and it never will be. You are not a quitter, and you don\u2019t want to continue the vicious circle. You don\u2019t want your kids to be faced with living a life they didn\u2019t choose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Living with trauma such as that raises many challenges you\u2019re faced with, which other people don\u2019t get. Every day is a battle for you. Every situation that others might find trivial can be disastrous to you.\u00a0 But you\u2019re facing it. Every day. Every hour. Every minute.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s what you failed to learn, and it\u2019s not your fault:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Ningu\u00e9m te ensinou a comportares-te<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"5<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Normal social situations aren\u2019t normal for you. A quiet Sunday evening in a normal house was about spending the evening together, playing games or watching TV. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your Sunday evening was either being the victim of an aggressive outburst caused by alcohol or watching your parent\u00a0 fall asleep in the middle of the house with a bottle in their hand. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the best-case scenario, you could walk away or hide so as not to look at the misery surrounding you. So, today when you simply don\u2019t know how to react to some things that other people think are self-explanatory, it\u2019s not your fault.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You didn\u2019t have a role model to tell you what is right and what is wrong. You didn\u2019t have anyone to look up to.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. You never learned it\u2019s impossible to keep everything under control<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"5<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Quando era apenas uma crian\u00e7a, a sua casa era um caos controlado, especialmente se um dos seus pais era alco\u00f3lico. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A outra era tentar escond\u00ea-lo, tentando for\u00e7ar o seu progenitor alco\u00f3lico a manter as apar\u00eancias. Investia-se muita energia e for\u00e7a para manter o pai s\u00f3brio calado.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tinhas de viver com isso. Tinhas de passar a tua vida naquele caos controlado em que, por fora, te parecias com todas as outras fam\u00edlias, mas, por dentro, eras tudo menos uma fam\u00edlia.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a result, now that you\u2019re a grown-up, you\u2019re trying to keep everything under control because you couldn\u2019t control anything when you were little.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only are you trying to control your life, but you\u2019re trying to control the lives of other people. You want to fix everything, so no one gets hurt. A lot of people can\u2019t understand your behavior, and they think of you as a control-freak.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nenhum deles compreende porque \u00e9 que \u00e9 assim. Nenhum deles consegue relacionar-se com a tua inf\u00e2ncia dolorosa e com o ambiente que te ensinou a ser assim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Ningu\u00e9m te ensinou a protegeres-te de pessoas perigosas<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"5<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Falta-te apoio emocional. Nunca tiveste o amor que realmente merecias. Os teus pais nunca estiveram presentes quando precisaste deles. Eram ego\u00edstas e estavam ocupados com as suas pr\u00f3prias vidas, por isso ignoraram-no completamente.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Procuravas aten\u00e7\u00e3o de todas as formas poss\u00edveis. Talvez at\u00e9 fosses problem\u00e1tico porque, no fundo, tudo o que querias era que algu\u00e9m te acolhesse e abra\u00e7asse. Tudo o que sempre quiseste foi que algu\u00e9m te desse aten\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As an adult, you hold on to every relationship you have, even if it\u2019s abusive. Sadly, an abusive relationship is the only thing you were surrounded with when you were a child, so to you, it\u2019s normal.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re afraid if you turn their back even on the people who take advantage of you, everyone in your life will eventually leave. And you don\u2019t want to be left alone. Not again.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. N\u00e3o aprendeu a acreditar em si pr\u00f3prio ou a respeitar as suas necessidades<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"5<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

While growing up, your needs weren\u2019t important. Even more, you probably watched one of your parents sacrifice their own life to help protect their partner and clean up the mess they made every time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Esses padr\u00f5es de comportamento que se desenvolveram numa idade precoce n\u00e3o podem ser desfeitos sem mais nem menos. Com o tempo, podem ser corrigidos, mas estar\u00e3o sempre presentes, especialmente em situa\u00e7\u00f5es emocionais em que as pessoas n\u00e3o se conseguem controlar facilmente.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyday interactions and relationships are especially hard for you. You always do what others tell you because you don\u2019t believe in yourself. You seek acceptance, and you\u2019re scared of conflict.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You hold on to chaotic and problematic people because that\u2019s the surrounding you\u2019re used to being in and because you respect everyone else except yourself and your needs.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Nunca aprendeste que \u00e9s mais do que suficientemente bom<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"5<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Quando era jovem, nunca nada do que fazia era suficientemente bom. Mais ainda, era constantemente confrontado com cr\u00edticas e desilus\u00f5es. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your alcoholic parent never acknowledged or noticed anything you did. Even if they saw it, they walked all over you because they didn’t care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re very ungrateful to yourself. You don\u2019t respect yourself, and no matter what you do, it will never be enough for you. You even verbally insult yourself because you don\u2019t believe in yourself; because you\u2019re insecure.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There will always be those who will try to persuade you that you are everything opposite from what you\u2019re saying about yourself and what you think about yourself, but those words won\u2019t find their way to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How can you see yourself in a positive light, when everything you\u2019re saying about yourself is true from your perspective?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Como \u00e9 que se pode amar a si pr\u00f3prio quando nunca se teve a oportunidade de aprender a faz\u00ea-lo?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"5<\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your childhood made you who you are today. Things you saw and lived through follow you throughout your whole life.\u00a0 Now, that\u2019s a beautiful thing if you remember your childhood in beautiful pictures; if you have happy memories which make your heart warm every time you think of them. But what happens when those pictures…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":40868,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29632],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40861","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse-and-trauma"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29632,"label":"abuse & trauma"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/shutterstock_1050497489.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29632,"name":"abuse & trauma","slug":"abuse-and-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29632,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","parent":22911,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29632,"category_count":138,"category_description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","cat_name":"abuse & trauma","category_nicename":"abuse-and-trauma","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40861","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40861"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40861\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/40868"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40861"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40861"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40861"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}