{"id":42345,"date":"2019-08-28T07:48:14","date_gmt":"2019-08-28T07:48:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=42345"},"modified":"2021-08-11T12:58:32","modified_gmt":"2021-08-11T12:58:32","slug":"uma-janela-para-a-minha-cura-a-minha-corajosa-aventura-sem-um-homem-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/uma-janela-para-a-minha-cura-a-minha-corajosa-aventura-sem-um-homem-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Uma janela para a minha cura: A minha corajosa aventura sem um homem"},"content":{"rendered":"

Acabei de regressar das minhas primeiras f\u00e9rias em 11 anos. Disse recentemente que tinham sido 15, mas esqueci-me que tinha ido a Las Vegas h\u00e1 11 anos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve written about how my ex would screw up our finances beyond repair and that I have since discovered he also had a gambling habit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This obviously limited our ability to go on vacations. Our oldest had been begging us to take a trip to the ocean since she was four, and I always felt bad that I couldn\u2019t ever make it come true.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, I finally did just that, on my own. Yes, a family member came with me, but I wouldn\u2019t have even been able to afford this either way, within my marriage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Soube-me bem levar os meus filhos a atravessar o pa\u00eds, numa viagem de carro, para ver o oceano.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\tThis blog is about loving the other side of marriage, life, and love, and what I just experienced speaks to all of that\u2014all while having nothing to do with any man, any dating stories or anything related to a male or significant other. This is purely about loving the other side of my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Comecei a planear esta viagem como uma forma de me distrair de pensar em namorar, para ser totalmente honesto. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Comecei a jogar em aplica\u00e7\u00f5es como o AirBnB h\u00e1 mais de um ano e a brincar com a ideia de poder finalmente fazer esta viagem com os meus filhos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

E, como acontece com a maioria das coisas desde que recomecei a minha vida, tornei-as realidade.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\tIn my marriage, I would\u2019ve never been able to do this because there wouldn\u2019t have been money to do so. I was too busy just trying to survive\u2014all the time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\tSim, trabalhei muito para poder viajar at\u00e9 ao oceano, mas valeu a pena. Esta viagem fez-me sair da minha zona de conforto de muitas maneiras e eu deliciei-me com cada passo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aside from the financial aspect of being able to actually book and plan the trip, I never would\u2019ve imagined I, alone, as the sole driver, would drive nearly 15 hours to a beach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I did. I don\u2019t think it would\u2019ve even been a thought of mine to do it because if it had been a reality financially, I would\u2019ve expected him to drive. But I got my car ready, and I made that trip. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Uma<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Conduzi por muitos estados, campos abertos e montanhas. Conduzi pelos ventosos e sinuosos Apalaches e fiquei maravilhado. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi paisagens que nunca tinha visto antes e, com exclama\u00e7\u00f5es de prazer, absorvi-as o mais poss\u00edvel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\tI am in awe I made this trip so well, so calmly overall. I am proud I drove it. And just like I\u2019ve been learning these last couple of years, when the road got treacherous, I simply slowed down a bit, took my time, and enjoyed the view. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\t\u00c9 isto que eu fa\u00e7o na minha vida. Quando as coisas se tornam dif\u00edceis, posso abrandar, passar um fim de semana deitado, sozinho, mas dedico algum tempo a regressar \u00e0quilo que sei serem os meus valores fundamentais: for\u00e7a, paix\u00e3o, ambi\u00e7\u00e3o e o desejo de proporcionar uma vida bonita aos meus filhos e a mim pr\u00f3prio. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My journey to this point hasn\u2019t always been easy. In fact, it was often fret with struggle, fear, and unexpected\u2014as well as expected\u2014setbacks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At\u00e9 agora, houve voltas e reviravoltas ao longo desta estrada. Houve montanhas que tive de escalar e alturas em que tive de descer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the road got hard to see or became too twisty for me to handle, I\u2019d slow down and take it step by step, until I could find a way.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nem todas as vistas foram feitas para serem apreciadas. Houve o medo e os conflitos na minha vida pouco depois de eu ter dito que queria o div\u00f3rcio. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Houve a escalada financeira deixada para tr\u00e1s por uma confus\u00e3o que ele criou. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I lost my job twice along the way, and then spent a summer without much pay and no child support, it was an uphill climb, but I made it to the top\u2014well, compared to where I have been, indeed this is the top.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\tEm cada ponto, limitei-me a ajustar a minha velocidade. E tentei apreciar a vista. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nem todas as vistas eram bonitas. A ind\u00fastria mineira na Virg\u00ednia Ocidental dota o que poderia ser alguns vales de cortar a respira\u00e7\u00e3o, embora a pr\u00f3pria Virg\u00ednia Ocidental fosse, de longe, a mais bonita de percorrer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Os centros de quase todas as grandes cidades est\u00e3o cheios de edif\u00edcios em ru\u00ednas, uma lembran\u00e7a de uma gl\u00f3ria desvanecida.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mas havia montanhas cobertas de \u00e1rvores t\u00e3o espessas que me pediam para trepar, ao mesmo tempo que escondiam os seus perigos no seu interior. Havia extens\u00f5es abertas de terras agr\u00edcolas banhadas pela luz do sol que me faziam ter vontade de pintar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

O oceano, em toda a sua poderosa gl\u00f3ria, era pac\u00edfico e, por vezes, agitado, mas, em qualquer dos casos, as ondas persistiam, chegando incessantemente \u00e0 costa, tocando-a com uma car\u00edcia suave ou com um estrondo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A mar\u00e9 trazia peixes, conchas, rochas, algas e levava tudo embora com a mesma rapidez.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Por vezes, as ondas rolam suavemente sobre n\u00f3s, mergulhando-nos na calma. Outras vezes, batem em n\u00f3s com uma for\u00e7a que nos derruba, nem que seja por um segundo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pode cair com uma onda, enquanto outra o atinge por tr\u00e1s antes de se conseguir orientar.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This week, I enjoyed the view. I sat back on the beach, watching my oldest jump in waves she could hardly believe she was brave enough to jump into, as my youngest flirted with his idea of danger by dancing at the water\u2019s edge and occasionally letting a small wave lick at his legs. I knew, for them, they were demonstrating their own brand of bravery. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

My mother, who can\u2019t swim, got in, and I didn\u2019t even expect that. She didn\u2019t either. Life is about risk if it’s going to be any fun. It\u2019s about doing things that scare you, feeling the fear, the rush, and then the pride.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Olhei para o horizonte e para as nuvens que passavam por cima de mim. Sorri, sabendo que os meus filhos estavam felizes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saber que o tinha feito. Sabendo que os tinha trazido at\u00e9 aqui. Tinha-os levado at\u00e9 \u00e0 costa do nosso grande pa\u00eds, do nosso belo pa\u00eds.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thought of Zora Neale Hurston\u2019s words in Os olhos deles estavam a ver Deus<\/em>. Ela fala do horizonte e compara-o aos sonhos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She talks about love being like the shore, and how it\u2019s never the same for everyone. She talks about ships at a distance\u2026.you deve<\/em> ler o livro durante a sua vida. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mas, em cada pensamento, lembrava-me de como tinha chegado ao horizonte, e de como o meu amor \u00e9 t\u00e3o grande pelos meus filhos, e agora tamb\u00e9m por mim. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know that I knew what love really was until I got divorced. Isn\u2019t that ironic?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just as I had once brought myself to the painful realization that many waves would knock me down before I would be strong enough to swim in them, this vacation was metaphorically, my realization that I have healed completely. I don\u2019t think the vacation healed me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think I was healed, but it was during this trip, 1000 miles from home, that it dawned on me that I am healed. This is what healing looks like, and it\u2019s beautiful, and tan, and glowing.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O meu antigo terapeuta perguntou-me uma vez como \u00e9 que eu achava que seria estar completamente curado. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not sure how anyone can answer that question, at least without some hesitation, wondering if you would recognize healing when it came. There were times I thought I wouldn\u2019t recognize it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There were times I thought of it as a process, and times I thought I\u2019d wonder if I\u2019d ever heal because there will always be a part of me that will be left shattered, and there will be times that scared woman will return. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This doesn\u2019t mean I haven\u2019t healed. Your knee might heal from surgery, but it may ache every time it rains. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

True healing means that things are mended enough to resume normal life\u2014or at least, your new normal. This is my new, and wonderful, normal.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

De qualquer forma, cheguei muito longe e trabalhei muito em mim pr\u00f3prio durante este processo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nem uma \u00fanica vez senti a falta dele, embora tenha havido algumas vezes, talvez tr\u00eas, em que senti falta da ideia do que eu pensava que ele era e do que poder\u00edamos ser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A semana que passou pode ser a minha cura. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Uma<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sim, realizei muitas outras coisas verdadeiramente espantosas e dei uma volta completa \u00e0 minha vida. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9 totalmente irreconhec\u00edvel a vida que vivi h\u00e1 apenas dois anos. Mas ver a aventura, sem um homem como suporte, \u00e9 uma experi\u00eancia totalmente infundada para mim, assustadora e assombrosamente bela.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fui eu que conduzi quase 15 horas em cada sentido, em ambos os sentidos<\/em>, and even though I was offered help, this time I didn\u2019t want to take it. I wanted to be the one to do it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wanted to know that I could make that drive without him, that I wouldn\u2019t be the one napping in the passenger seat like before. Because nobody is steering my life but me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I love myself and my children so very much that I cannot wait for my next adventure\u2014solo and with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m ready to live again; nay, I\u2019m ready to live for the first time. I\u2019m ready to drive the open road; race down hills; get knocked over by gnarly waves; hike tall hills, mountains, and deserts; and in the process, hit road bumps. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m ready to fully embrace all that life has to offer me and to drink from every cup passed my way. I\u2019m ready to see this brave, new world!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lately, although I haven\u2019t felt down, my posts have been a bit darker. This trip shined a light, both figuratively and literally, on all that I was neglecting to tell you about existence on the other side of love, marriage, and life. It\u2019s got some absolutely breathtaking vistas if you give it a chance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope that if you are going through the thick of it right now, you\u2019re on the upswing or you haven\u2019t left because you\u2019re too afraid, this post might remind you how beautiful life can be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Espero que, mesmo que o seu casamento seja saud\u00e1vel, que o seu parceiro seja fant\u00e1stico ou que a sua vida de solteiro seja fabulosa, se lembre de reparar nas pequenas coisas que faz todos os dias e em como \u00e9 fant\u00e1stico.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It might have been brave of you to go out waist deep in the ocean or maybe it\u2019s just enough to dip your feet in, but do it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strive each day to something you\u2019ve never done before\u2014to go a little harder in your workout, to make a new dish, to drive somewhere far away. It doesn\u2019t have to be big though. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

O que importa \u00e9 que foi uma novidade para si, que tirou um momento para sair do que sabe, para fazer o que pode. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To live fully. I always tell my oldest to \u201cfear less, live more\u201d. That\u2019s my brave new world life\u2019s motto.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t forget to notice how inspiring life and this beautiful world we live in is either. Love the other side! My God\u2014there is so much to love! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Por favor, partilhe este post com qualquer pessoa que precise de ser levantada hoje ou com qualquer pessoa que tenha chegado t\u00e3o longe. Introduza os seus dados abaixo para seguir o meu blogue.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Muito amor,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adriana<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Por Adriana Verdad
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I just got back from my first vacation in 11 years. I recently said it had been 15, but I did forget I went to Vegas 11 years ago. I\u2019ve written about how my ex would screw up our finances beyond repair and that I have since discovered he also had a gambling habit. This…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":42355,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29645],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-42345","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-being-single"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29645,"label":"being single"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/shutterstock_572839507.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tina Navarro","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/tatiana\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29645,"name":"being single","slug":"being-single","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29645,"taxonomy":"category","description":"How to rock being single? Or how to (and why you should) stop worrying about what others will think of your love status? Here's exactly how.","parent":29643,"count":114,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29645,"category_count":114,"category_description":"How to rock being single? Or how to (and why you should) stop worrying about what others will think of your love status? Here's exactly how.","cat_name":"being single","category_nicename":"being-single","category_parent":29643}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42345","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42345"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42345\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/42355"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42345"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42345"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42345"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}