{"id":50850,"date":"2020-01-08T18:55:14","date_gmt":"2020-01-08T18:55:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=50850"},"modified":"2022-03-22T01:58:54","modified_gmt":"2022-03-22T01:58:54","slug":"fui-vitima-de-abusos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/fui-vitima-de-abusos\/","title":{"rendered":"N\u00e3o foi por minha culpa que sofri abusos"},"content":{"rendered":"

Durante muito tempo, estive convencido de que era culpado por tudo o que de mau me estava a acontecer. <\/span><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t sure how and why, but I knew that I was responsible for the evil that had hit me. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pensava que, de alguma forma, merecia todos os insultos que recebia, toda a humilha\u00e7\u00e3o por que passava e todos os golpes emocionais e f\u00edsicos que levava. <\/b><\/p>\n

Pelo menos, foi isso que o meu agressor tentou convencer-me. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Silhueta<\/p>\n

Afinal de contas, todo o nosso mundo se baseia na justi\u00e7a, certo? Tinha de haver algum karma, e eu estava obviamente a pagar pelos pecados que tinha cometido. <\/span><\/p>\n

Talvez tenha sido algo que fiz na minha vida anterior, talvez tenha magoado algu\u00e9m involuntariamente ou tenha sido apenas culpado por ter escolhido mal e n\u00e3o saber o que fazer. <\/span><\/p>\n

Talvez eu fosse demasiado sens\u00edvel, demasiado emocional, demasiado fraco ou demasiado vulner\u00e1vel. <\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe I was exaggerating. Maybe my partner wasn\u2019t that bad compared to others\u2014who knows what is happening in other people\u2019s relationships\u2014they just don\u2019t talk about it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Talvez tudo isto fosse realmente normal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Parece um monte de disparates, eu sei. Desse ponto de vista, eu pr\u00f3prio estou chocado com os pensamentos que me passaram pela cabe\u00e7a.<\/b><\/p>\n

No entanto, independentemente do que acontecia, acabava por encontrar desculpas para tudo o que o meu ex me fazia.<\/span><\/p>\n

Durante anos, encontrei sempre uma forma de justificar a sua viol\u00eancia, tentando atribuir-me toda a culpa. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Mulher<\/p>\n

I had obviously provoked him, and I definitely shouldn\u2019t have said that. <\/span><\/p>\n

If I had just listened to what he was telling me, he wouldn\u2019t have raised his hand to me. <\/span><\/p>\n

I thought things like: \u201cHe isn\u2019t not that bad\u2014he just has a short temper. <\/span><\/p>\n

He has an anger management problem and I should be there to help him fight it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Afinal de contas, ele s\u00f3 queria o melhor para mim, certo? <\/span>Mesmo quando ele me maltratava, n\u00e3o passava de uma rea\u00e7\u00e3o ao meu mau comportamento. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Filmagem<\/p>\n

Mesmo quando ele estava a tentar <\/span>controlar-me<\/span><\/a>, he was doing it because he was so afraid that he\u2019d lose me. <\/span><\/p>\n

He loved me so much that he couldn\u2019t stand the mere thought of living without me. <\/span><\/p>\n

Al\u00e9m disso, sempre que me batia, sentia-se t\u00e3o mal depois. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ele passava horas e dias a pedir desculpa e a prometer-me que nunca mais faria uma coisa daquelas. <\/span><\/p>\n

E eu, tonta, acreditei nele. Estava mesmo a acreditar em todas as suas tretas, convencida de que ele estava a fazer tudo aquilo devido ao enorme amor que sentia por mim. <\/b><\/p>\n

No entanto, agora, <\/span>depois de todo este tempo, eu sei a verdade: eu era a v\u00edtima aqui. E a v\u00edtima nunca \u00e9 culpada. <\/b><\/p>\n

Ap\u00f3s todos estes anos de terapia e auto-introspe\u00e7\u00e3o, j\u00e1 n\u00e3o tenho vergonha de o admitir ou de o dizer em voz alta. <\/span><\/p>\n

Now I know that I\u2019m not the one who should be embarrassed for being abused.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"Fotografia<\/p>\n

Porque nada disto foi culpa minha. O meu ex \u00e9 um abusador e \u00e9 ele que deve assumir toda a responsabilidade pelos seus actos. <\/b><\/p>\n

N\u00e3o, <\/span>I couldn\u2019t have known better because I was brainwashed into thinking that he was the best man I could ever have<\/b>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Esfor\u00e7ou-se muito para me convencer de que as suas formas distorcidas de demonstrar amor eram verdadeiras, que nunca ningu\u00e9m iria gostar de mim como ele gostava e que eu nunca iria encontrar a felicidade ao lado de outra pessoa.  <\/span><\/p>\n

N\u00e3o, <\/span>I couldn\u2019t have abandoned him because he made sure I was financially and <\/b>emocionalmente dependente<\/b><\/a> sobre ele<\/b>. <\/span><\/p>\n

N\u00e3o tinha ningu\u00e9m a quem recorrer, porque ele afugentou todos os meus amigos e familiares com o tempo, s\u00f3 para que eu acabasse sem ningu\u00e9m a n\u00e3o ser ele ao meu lado. <\/span><\/p>\n

N\u00e3o, <\/span>I couldn\u2019t have left him sooner because he emotionally blackmailed me and manipulated me into taking him back after every violent episode<\/b>\u2014because I spent years, hoping for that perfect guy from the beginning of our relationship to come back and for that caring and loving guy he was in between the abuse to reappear. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"Mulher<\/p>\n

No, I shouldn\u2019t have changed my ways because if he loved me, he would have accepted me just the way I was. <\/span><\/p>\n

On the other hand, if he saw that I wasn\u2019t cut out for him, he had the choice of walking away at any moment. <\/span><\/p>\n

No entanto, optou por ficar. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ele escolheu conscientemente fazer da minha vida um inferno, matar-me espiritualmente e continuar a abusar de mim mentalmente, emocionalmente, verbalmente e fisicamente. <\/b><\/p>\n

Porqu\u00ea? Porque ele era e provavelmente ainda \u00e9 um sociopata t\u00f3xico que gosta de torturar os outros. <\/b><\/p>\n

Porque ele viu-me como uma v\u00edtima adequada<\/b>\u2014<\/span>e simplesmente porque podia. <\/b><\/p>\n

Sim, fui eu que deixei que ele me tratasse da forma como o fez. <\/span><\/p>\n

Era eu que lhe dava luz verde para continuar a abusar dele sempre que lhe dava outra oportunidade. <\/span><\/p>\n

However, it wasn\u2019t my fault I was abused. I\u2019m not stupid, <\/b>inam\u00e1vel<\/b><\/a> Nem eu merecia passar por uma coisa destas. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"Retrato<\/p>\n

E tu tamb\u00e9m n\u00e3o.<\/b> Therefore, if you\u2019re experiencing something similar to what I\u2019ve been thro<\/span>ugh, por favor abre os olhos. <\/span><\/p>\n

S<\/span>topo a ouvir este narcisista manipulador que continua a dizer-nos<\/a> that you provoked him to tell you all those awful things, that he wouldn\u2019t have yelled at you if your skirt wasn\u2019t that short or that he wouldn\u2019t have hit you if you just had the patience to stay quiet when he insulted you. <\/span><\/p>\n

Podes n\u00e3o o ver agora, mas acredita em mim: tens o que \u00e9 preciso para o deixar. <\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re not alone, and there is always someone around you who would gladly give you a hand and help you get out of this nightmare. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nevertheless, you\u2019re the one who has to make that decision, the same way I did.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Retrato<\/p>\n

You\u2019re the one who has to set yourself free from this never-ending circle and finally see this man for who he really is\u2014an abuser who never loved you and will never change his ways. <\/span><\/p>\n

Acredita em mim quando te digo que vais conseguir sem ele. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not going to lie: you won\u2019t recover overnight, and your past <\/span>traumas<\/span><\/a> provavelmente ir\u00e1 assombr\u00e1-lo durante muito tempo, mas no final do dia, estar\u00e1 melhor. <\/span><\/p>\n

Learn from my mistakes and from my example and don\u2019t let your agony go on any longer.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"N\u00e3o<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For a long time, I was convinced that I was guilty for everything bad that was happening to me. I wasn\u2019t sure how and why, but I knew that I was responsible for the evil that had hit me.  I thought that somehow I deserved all the insults I received, all the humiliation I went…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":50858,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29632],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-50850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse-and-trauma"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29632,"label":"abuse & trauma"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/shutterstock_792923497.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29632,"name":"abuse & trauma","slug":"abuse-and-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29632,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","parent":22911,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29632,"category_count":138,"category_description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","cat_name":"abuse & trauma","category_nicename":"abuse-and-trauma","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50850","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50850"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50850\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/50858"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50850"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50850"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50850"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}