Acreditei do fundo do cora\u00e7\u00e3o que nunca decidiria trair algu\u00e9m que me deu desinteressadamente o seu cora\u00e7\u00e3o para cuidar dele. <\/p>\n
![\"casal](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/couple-in-love-sitting-on-bed-at-home.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
Disse-o v\u00e1rias vezes:<\/p>\n
I would rather be miserable and alone for the rest of my life than cheat on someone because I’m either with that person or I’m not. <\/em><\/p>\n If I\u2019m not happy, I\u2019ll break up with them, move forward, and do whatever I want, but I won’t cheat as long as I’m in a rela\u00e7\u00e3o s\u00e9ria<\/a> com a minha cara-metade que confia em mim.<\/em><\/p>\n I guess the first time I said it, I wasn’t even aware of the real difficulty of that statement and the fact that it is easier said than done.<\/p>\n But, “lucky me,” now I can tell with certainty that sometimes the words that come out of our mouths simply cannot be trusted.<\/p>\n Tra\u00ed o meu namorado, apesar de toda a minha vida ter sido contra a trai\u00e7\u00e3o e a favor de uma vida baseada em princ\u00edpios de confian\u00e7a e compromisso.<\/p>\n But, life is unpredictable and the truth is that both men and women cheat and, in most cases, it’s not because they wanted to, but because something broke in them and they couldn’t find a way to deal with it.<\/p>\n Porque faltava alguma coisa e acabaram num labirinto de infidelidade.<\/p>\n Ver tamb\u00e9m: Como perdoar a si mesmo por ter tra\u00eddo e n\u00e3o ter contado: 20 maneiras<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n To help you understand my cheating experience in full, I’ll first give you an insight into my past relationship.<\/p>\n My boyfriend and I had been together for a year or so and from the day we met, everything was just perfect (until it wasn’t).<\/p>\n He was really caring, he\u2019d always go out of his way to make me feel special (both through text messages and in real life) and we had this qu\u00edmica incr\u00edvel<\/a> como adolescentes de liceu.<\/p>\n Ele era genuinamente um tipo porreiro.<\/p>\n We\u2019d finish each other’s sentences, laugh about stupid things, and just enjoy life as every other couple at the beginning of a relationship.<\/p>\n Cada segundo passado com ele era m\u00e1gico e nunca imaginei tra\u00ed-lo, muito menos pensei em faz\u00ea-lo.<\/p>\n Until one day \u2013 or better said, until something happened, but I couldn’t really understand what was truly going on. I noticed that he suddenly changed.<\/p>\n He was no longer the same person I’d fallen in love with because he no longer cared about making an effort to keep things interesting, about affection and other romantic things related to a healthy relationship.<\/p>\n As mensagens de texto tornaram-se menos frequentes ou inexistentes e, com o passar do tempo, muitos outros problemas de relacionamento surgiram literalmente do nada, e eu n\u00e3o fazia ideia do que fazer em rela\u00e7\u00e3o a tudo isso.<\/p>\n A minha autoestima era muito baixa, sentia-me infeliz e s\u00f3 pensava em mim: O que devo fazer com a minha rela\u00e7\u00e3o?<\/strong><\/p>\n I tried to talk to my partner to understand what was going on, but every time I did, he\u2019d just pretend that everything was okay and that I was overreacting.<\/p>\n Acho que ele se tornou demasiado casual na nossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o e perdeu o sentido de perseguir e valorizar o que t\u00ednhamos. Ainda sentia algo por ele, mas ao mesmo tempo amaldi\u00e7oava o dia em que o conheci e tamb\u00e9m tinha esperan\u00e7a de que talvez algo mudasse.<\/p>\n I wasn’t ready to j\u00e1 se separaram<\/a>, but I also wasn’t happy in the relationship.<\/p>\n Por isso, decidi fingir que estava vivo e feliz sem estar realmente vivo e feliz.<\/p>\n At\u00e9 o conhecer.<\/strong><\/p>\n O meu ex-colega apresentou-me a um amigo dele uma noite, quando est\u00e1vamos a beber um copo, e fic\u00e1mos logo atra\u00eddos.<\/p>\n Partilh\u00e1vamos a mesma perspetiva das coisas, ele era t\u00e3o gentil e carinhoso e tinha uma paix\u00e3o a brilhar nos seus olhos que estava lentamente a incendiar o meu corpo e a minha mente.<\/p>\n Apesar de ter sido muito dif\u00edcil resistir \u00e0 tenta\u00e7\u00e3o, n\u00e3o aconteceu nada nessa noite, mas continu\u00e1mos a ver-nos.<\/p>\n Sempre que est\u00e1vamos juntos, sentia-me cada vez mais compreendida, acarinhada e simplesmente viva de novo.<\/p>\n And at the same time, I was convincing myself that we were just friends and nothing more, and all this would stop soon because I couldn\u2019t let myself lose control and do something stupid.<\/p>\n E depois fi-lo.<\/strong> Convidou-me para sua casa, preparou uma refei\u00e7\u00e3o deliciosa, tratou-me como uma rainha e seduziu-me como um chefe.<\/p>\n As minhas tentativas de resistir a tudo foram em v\u00e3o, por isso rendi-me e deixei que a paix\u00e3o ardente me conduzisse.<\/p>\n E no dia seguinte, quando me apercebi do que tinha acabado de acontecer, que tinha tra\u00eddo o meu namorado, o meu mundo desmoronou-se.<\/p>\n Sentia-me a maior cobarde do mundo porque era demasiado fraca para sair da minha rela\u00e7\u00e3o atual, apesar de ser evidentemente infeliz.<\/p>\n As \u00fanicas emo\u00e7\u00f5es que sentia eram confus\u00e3o e \u00f3dio por mim pr\u00f3pria, pela minha rela\u00e7\u00e3o t\u00f3xica e pelo amor em geral.<\/p>\n And in case you’re wondering whether I repeated my sinful act again: Nope, I didn’t. It was a one-off thing.<\/p>\n There wasn’t a second time or any time after that. The cheating act in itself was not that painful, but coping with it afterward is what breaks you.<\/p>\n So, here are some things that I’ve learned from my cheating experience.<\/p>\n I bet the first thought of every cheater out there is: How do I delete this and how do I get rid of this feeling of guilt and betrayal? (Or, at least, that’s how I felt.)<\/p>\n So, is it possible to simply delete your cheating moment from your history and continue living your life as if nothing happened? No, it’s not.<\/p>\n Even if the act of cheating wasn\u2019t done to purposefully hurt someone, even if you weren’t aware of what you were doing and where things were heading, you still did it.<\/p>\n It’s done. It’s real. And every single action in our life has a reaction, aka consequence.<\/p>\n Mesmo que decidas destruir todas as provas, apagar o n\u00famero de telefone, aplicar uma magia vudu que te fa\u00e7a reiniciar a consci\u00eancia (como no filme Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind<\/em>), you still won’t be able to forget about it because you will still have the act of cheating stored in your memory.<\/p>\n Now, you have all the right in the world to act as if nothing happened and wait for the moment of obliviousness to kick in, but speaking from my personal experience, I think that’s mission impossible.<\/p>\n De facto, quanto mais tentamos suprimir algo e lutar contra ele, mais ele luta para aparecer \u00e0 superf\u00edcie.<\/p>\n Our subconsciousness is a really powerful thing and we simply cannot trick our brain to believe something that’s not true.<\/p>\n And sometimes that’s a good thing because it just shows you that you’re only human after all.<\/p>\n Ensina-nos a lidar com as consequ\u00eancias dos nossos actos.<\/p>\n If you’re not a serial cheater, the chances of your partner learning about your infidelity are really low.<\/p>\n I cheated once and didn’t get caught, and for a moment I thought that this is actually a good thing because maybe, somehow magically, I could just forget about it and continue being in a relationship as if nothing happened.<\/p>\n Mas o sentimento de culpa e a agita\u00e7\u00e3o eram muito fortes dentro de mim.<\/p>\n Assim, dei por mim a pedir desculpa ao meu parceiro pelas coisas mais triviais pelas quais nunca pediria desculpa antes.<\/p>\n Tamb\u00e9m comecei a acus\u00e1-lo constantemente de coisas aleat\u00f3rias que ele fazia, independentemente da situa\u00e7\u00e3o e de serem realmente dignas de serem mencionadas.<\/p>\n And then I realized that this wasn’t me but my guilty conscience.<\/p>\n A culpa dentro de mim for\u00e7ava-me a pedir desculpa por coisas triviais porque, ao faz\u00ea-lo, estava inconscientemente a pedir desculpa pela minha infidelidade sem sequer ter consci\u00eancia disso.<\/p>\n Locking eyes with your partner also feels really weird because every time you look them in the eye, you feel as if your soul starts to cry, as if you’ve done something so terribly wrong that killed your partner and the relationship you’re still in (even if your relationship died a long time ago).<\/p>\n And you can’t help but constantly analyze everything that happened in the hope that you’ll find a reason to justify your shameful act.<\/p>\n And while you’re constantly lost in your thoughts, you risk your partner noticing it and demanding to know what the hell is going on.<\/p>\n Assim, tem duas op\u00e7\u00f5es:<\/strong><\/p>\n Continue pretending as if nothing happened \u2013 that you’re PMSing or having other female difficulties \u2013 or tell them what happened and hope for the best (if you still care about your partner and fixing your broken relationship).<\/p>\n No entanto, n\u00e3o se esque\u00e7a que, mesmo que seja sincero, os problemas de confian\u00e7a permanecer\u00e3o durante muito tempo numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n Ver tamb\u00e9m: 6 comportamentos numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o que s\u00e3o mais prejudiciais do que a trai\u00e7\u00e3o<\/a><\/p>\n Muitas pessoas pensam que a trai\u00e7\u00e3o acontece por acaso e que a pessoa que traiu o fez de prop\u00f3sito para magoar o seu parceiro ou para satisfazer os seus desejos ego\u00edstas.<\/p>\n Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t people like this, but in the majority of cases (and in my case), cheating is an act of trying to fill the void caused by being in an unhappy relationship.<\/p>\n And by saying this, I’m not trying to justify my or any other cheater’s behavior.<\/p>\n I’m just trying to point out that the roots of cheating are much deeper than we think.<\/p>\n There’s a reason why you cheated on your partner and that reason is buried deep down in your heart.<\/p>\n In order to understand things better, you need to think about what has changed in your relationship, what\u2019s missing, and how you feel about all that?<\/p>\n Sente-se s\u00f3, desrespeitado, n\u00e3o \u00e9 notado, n\u00e3o \u00e9 apreciado, n\u00e3o \u00e9 digno de amor?<\/p>\n No meu caso, senti que faltava algo na minha rela\u00e7\u00e3o porque j\u00e1 n\u00e3o havia conversas com significado, afeto f\u00edsico, surpresa um com o outro e todas essas pequenas coisas que acabam por significar muito.<\/p>\n And even though I tried to explain this to my partner, he wouldn’t want to listen to me, or he agreed but never really did anything about it.<\/p>\n E foi por essa raz\u00e3o que tamb\u00e9m me retirei e parei fazer um esfor\u00e7o na nossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o<\/a>.<\/p>\n That was the reason I cheated. I wasn’t ready to move on, but I wasn’t happy either.<\/p>\n Parecia que estava preso num pesadelo horr\u00edvel e a \u00fanica coisa que me acordou dele por um segundo foi o meu ato de trai\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n When you realize what the real reason behind your infidelity is, you can make things right by gradually changing things in your relationship, if it’s possible.<\/p>\n If it’s not, then you should think about going separate ways because there’s no point in staying in a relationship that has no perspective or future, that makes you feel genuinely unhappy.<\/p>\n (Quem me dera que algu\u00e9m me tivesse dito isto antes de eu fazer batota).<\/p>\n Even if there’s a valid reason for you cheating on your partner, you still feel like the shittiest person in the world.<\/p>\n Why? Because you betrayed their trust and you did something you wouldn’t want your partner or anyone else to do to you.<\/p>\n Even though I was really mad at the whole situation and my ignorant partner, that didn\u2019t help me feel indifferent about my cheating moment.<\/p>\n Senti-me muito triste, confusa e mal comigo mesma, pensando:<\/p>\n How could I’ve done such a thing when my whole life I was preaching the total opposite? <\/em><\/p>\n Todo este tempo apoiei a verdade, o compromisso e as rela\u00e7\u00f5es honestas, s\u00f3 para acabar por ser um traidor.<\/em><\/p>\n The worst thing about it all is that even if your partner knows about it all and forgives you, you still can\u2019t forgive yourself.<\/p>\n “The toughest battle you’ll ever fight in your life is the battle within yourself.<\/a>”<\/p>\n I’ve always been my own biggest critic and that’s one of the reasons why I can’t accept the fact that I let myself do something really stupid.<\/p>\n My biggest critic inside me made me feel like I’m the shittiest person in the world and I didn’t even want my partner to ever forgive me because I would never be able to forgive myself.<\/p>\n Este sentimento de ser um falhado torna-se parte da sua vida quotidiana.<\/p>\n As you’re walking down the street, you often feel like everyone is pointing fingers at you, reminding you that you\u2019re a cheater, liar, and someone who cannot be trusted.<\/p>\n And it’s not that you aren’t already doing the same to yourself.<\/p>\n It’s not that you’re not reminding yourself of your sinful act from the moment you open your eyes in the morning until you fall asleep at night. With time, you accept the fact that you made a mistake (if it can even be called that) and you’re terribly sorry for it, but still this doesn’t change anything.<\/p>\n I’m pretty sure that you’re familiar with that famous phrase: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”<\/p>\n While there is some truth to it, it still isn’t completely valid and it demands an extensive discussion.<\/p>\n The fact that you cheated on someone once doesn’t mean that you’ve just earned a badge with the name “cheater” that will follow you for the rest of your life.<\/p>\n This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll cheat on your every future partner.<\/p>\n I can confirm this from the viewpoint of my case. I’ve cheated only once in my whole life and I doubt that I’ll ever repeat it again because:<\/p>\n a) Tenho muita pena dele, e<\/p>\n b) Aprendi li\u00e7\u00f5es valiosas e n\u00e3o tenciono voltar a fazer a mesma coisa.<\/p>\n And in my circle of friends, there are plenty of other people who cheated only once and swore that they\u2019d never do the same thing again because now they understand what they ought to do if faced with the same situation.<\/p>\n So, if you’ve just cheated on your boyfriend or if you ever do in the future, know that this doesn’t mean that you’ll repeat it again and that you’ve become the ultimate cheater who\u2019s going to ruin every single one of your future partners\u2019 lives.<\/p>\n It may sound weird, but the only positive thing about my cheating experience is that I’m glad I realized the real weight of it and I’m one hundred percent sure that I won’t do it ever again.<\/p>\n If you realize the same, then you know you’re doing the best you can and you’re not a creep who doesn’t give a damn about how others feel.<\/p>\n A culpa \u00e9 um sentimento poderoso que pode permanecer presente mesmo anos ap\u00f3s o ato e, em alguns casos, durante toda a vida.<\/p>\n It all depends on how sensitive you are and how you\u2019re coping with the consequences of your actions.<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/worried-woman-looking-thoughtful-at-balcony.jpg\")
<\/p>\nA minha experi\u00eancia de trai\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n
![\"rapariga](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/girl-lying-in-bed-and-typing-on-laptop-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"casal](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/couple-flirting-in-a-restaurant-2.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"casal](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sad-couple-sitting-at-sofa-indoors.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
\nFoi muito dif\u00edcil lidar com tudo isto e comecei a afastar-me.<\/p>\n![\"jovem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/young-couple-talking-at-a-restaurant-2.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/worried-woman-sitting-on-a-bed.jpg\")
<\/p>\nI CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND AND HERE’S WHAT I LEARNED FROM IT<\/h2>\n
1. “Just forgetting about it” is not on the table<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/woried-woman-looking-throguht-window-and-thinking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sad-woman-lying-on-sofa-and-thinking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n2. The guilt will impact your relationship (even if you don’t get caught)<\/h2>\n
![\"jovem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/young-couple-hugging-on-the-nature-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sad-woman-holding-cup-and-thinking-at-home.jpg\")
<\/p>\n3. There’s a reason WHY you did this<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/worried-woman-sitting-on-the-bed.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sad-woman-sitting-alone-in-the-forest.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/young-woman-in-bedroom-late-at-night.jpg\")
<\/p>\n4. Vais sentir-te a pessoa mais merdosa do mundo<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/unhappy-business-woman-head-on-window.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/depressed-woman-looking-at-her-phone.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"retrato](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/portrait-of-thoughtful-women-leaning-against-street.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
\nMas, com o tempo, torna-se mais f\u00e1cil.<\/p>\n5. It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll cheat again<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/worried-women-leaning-agaist-wall-with-crossed-hand.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"rapariga](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/lonely-girl-sitting-on-wood-at-lake.jpg\")
<\/p>\n6. A trai\u00e7\u00e3o tem impacto no seu comportamento em futuros encontros e rela\u00e7\u00f5es<\/h2>\n
![\"um](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/man-hugged-his-sad-girlfriend.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
![\"casal](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/upset-couple-sitting-in-living-room-no-talking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"jovem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/young-girl-at-coffee-bar-looking-at-window.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"TRA\u00cd](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/I-CHEATED-ON-MY-BOYFRIEND-AND-HERES-WHAT-I-LEARNED-FROM-IT-Pinterest-724x1024.jpg\")
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"