![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/woman-in-bathtube-thinking.jpg\")
<\/p>\nLembro-me de estar sentado numa banheira cheia de \u00e1gua a pensar em ti, em n\u00f3s, e j\u00e1 tinham passado quatro semanas desde que dissemos o nosso \u00faltimo adeus.<\/p>\n
O que eu pensava ser a \u00faltima vez que estar\u00edamos juntos.<\/p>\n
Soon after that, I learned what last goodbyes really are\u2014the cold sweat, knots in my stomach and lifeless stares at the bathroom ceiling.<\/p>\n
Estava a viver o meu pesadelo dist\u00f3pico pessoal. J\u00e1 nada fazia sentido. Eu era um estranho para mim pr\u00f3prio. A guerra que declarei a mim pr\u00f3prio tinha-me deixado completamente queimado.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Tudo o que me restava eram as vastas muralhas de pedra. Vazias e imposs\u00edveis de invadir.<\/p>\n
Sadly, all of it wasn\u2019t a nightmare because of the pain of separation\u2014no.<\/p>\n
Eu s\u00f3 podia rezar por uma dor doce como essa. Em vez disso, foi um pesadelo porque fizeste quest\u00e3o de me magoar de todas as formas poss\u00edveis.<\/p>\n
Fizeste quest\u00e3o de apagar todos os vest\u00edgios de beleza que um dia viste em mim, tudo porque egoisticamente imaginaste que a beleza era algo que criaste em mim.<\/p>\n
Nunca foi teu. Era s\u00f3 meu. E foi-me tirado.<\/p>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sad-woman-sitting-and-thinking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
Fizeste quest\u00e3o de me arrastar por todos os c\u00edrculos do inferno. I wasn\u2019t aware of what happened to me. I was so scared, I let myself believe in every lie you said to me. <\/strong><\/p>\n You made me convince myself I wasn\u2019t worthy of you, of anyone, of living my life.<\/strong><\/p>\n Estava a doer; a minha alma parecia ter passado por um teletransporte falhado e sofrido uma perda das suas partes. Do\u00eda-me. Nunca tinha sentido uma dor como aquela.<\/p>\n Like a part of me was missing and I couldn\u2019t do anything about it.<\/strong> I was grieving something that wasn\u2019t even dead.<\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t even tell what parts they were. All I knew was that every chance of feeling joy had been taken away from me.<\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t even cry. I was so numb.<\/strong><\/p>\n That\u2019s when I started being reckless. I wanted to provoke the feeling. I wanted to untie the fabric of my pain, let it scream and let it go.<\/p>\n I wanted proof that my pain was real. I wanted proof my suffering wasn’t an unhappy love story, a failed relationship, a bad break-up, and was just some momentary discomfort.<\/p>\n Foi uma perda de alma.<\/strong><\/p>\n Depois de ti, precisei de apanhar os meus peda\u00e7os e col\u00e1-los com o que eu me lembrava de ser.<\/p>\n As pe\u00e7as foram-se lascando, caindo e rachando at\u00e9 que me apercebi da verdade mortificante: nunca mais seria o que era antes.<\/p>\n The sudden realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn\u2019t what I thought myself to be anymore and I never would be. There was no healing, no therapy that could\u2019ve brought me back.<\/p>\n Mudei para sempre.<\/strong><\/p>\n At first, I was devastated. The horror of losing something forever took over me, and I couldn\u2019t make peace with myself.<\/p>\n Apercebi-me que esta concha vazia era agora eu.<\/p>\n Sentia-me cheia de medos que nunca tinha conhecido antes, tinha novas inseguran\u00e7as e as minhas cren\u00e7as mudaram.<\/p>\n The new me didn\u2019t know what love was anymore.<\/strong><\/p>\n She couldn\u2019t feel safe anywhere. She watched others live their lives filled with the ignorance she longed for. She became skeptical and paranoid.<\/p>\n Ela odiava-se a si pr\u00f3pria e ao seu corpo. Sempre que algu\u00e9m tentava estabelecer uma liga\u00e7\u00e3o genu\u00edna, ela levantava a parede mais fria.<\/p>\n A alegria e a divers\u00e3o foram substitu\u00eddas por noites de bebedeira sem sentido e amizades sem significado.<\/p>\n O amor, com beijos indesejados e n\u00fameros apagados. A paz era desconhecida.<\/p>\n N\u00e3o tive outra op\u00e7\u00e3o sen\u00e3o deix\u00e1-la viver e tentar compreend\u00ea-la.<\/p>\n Ap\u00f3s um longo per\u00edodo de indiferen\u00e7a sufocante, decidi fazer as pazes com o meu novo eu.<\/strong><\/p>\n Jurei a mim pr\u00f3prio que a aceitaria com toda a sua mis\u00e9ria, tal como aceitei em tempos ele<\/em>.<\/p>\n Comecei a fazer tudo o que queria fazer, sem qualquer desculpa. Deixei-me ser tudo o que precisava de ser naquele momento.<\/p>\n I let myself feel the sadness, contempt, excitement, disgust, fear, anger, fascination, lust. Everything. And I didn\u2019t judge myself for it.<\/p>\n Foi nesse momento que as paredes come\u00e7aram a cair lentamente.<\/strong><\/p>\n When the horror of losing myself began to fade. I started making peace with myself. I started accepting who I was, with or without abuse. It didn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n Comecei a tratar a minha vida como uma coisa preciosa que vale a pena viver. Dei-me permiss\u00e3o para seguir em frente.<\/p>\n I started finding more and more pieces of myself that didn\u2019t need the glue. They could fit perfectly.<\/p>\n Lenta mas seguramente, apercebi-me de que estava a construir a minha pr\u00f3pria obra-prima. Reinventei-me.<\/strong><\/p>\n Disse n\u00e3o a todas as tentativas de distinguir o meu fogo.<\/p>\n I understood I had to grow bigger to make space for everything I could be. My soul parts were never lost\u2014they had to be hidden from the pain because they were so precious.<\/p>\n A minha pr\u00f3pria dor ensinou-me que eu tinha o poder de a transformar em for\u00e7a.<\/p>\n I finally recognized\u2014I was my soul alchemist<\/p>\n I remember sitting in a bath full of water thinking about you, about us, and it had already been four weeks since we said our last goodbye. What I thought was the last time we would be together. Soon after that, I learned what last goodbyes really are\u2014the cold sweat, knots in my stomach and…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":55251,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29644],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-55242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29644,"label":"self-love"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Some-People-Were-Meant-To-Break-You-So-You-Could-Grow-Stronger.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tina Navarro","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/tatiana\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29644,"name":"self-love","slug":"self-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29644,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Self-love is not an option but a necessity. Boost your self-confidence, learn to love yourself and ditch toxicity because you deserve to be happy.","parent":29643,"count":290,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29644,"category_count":290,"category_description":"Self-love is not an option but a necessity. Boost your self-confidence, learn to love yourself and ditch toxicity because you deserve to be happy.","cat_name":"self-love","category_nicename":"self-love","category_parent":29643}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55242","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=55242"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55242\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/55251"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=55242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=55242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=55242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/woman-grieving-by-the-sea.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/woman-with-glasses-holding-the-roses.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/younf-woman-looking-unpresent.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"amigos](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/friends-drinking-in-the-bar.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/angry-woman-screaming-loudly.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/woman-relacing-in-the-hammock.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Algumas](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Some-People-Were-Meant-To-Break-You-So-You-Could-Grow-Stronger-pinterest.jpg\")
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"