{"id":6629,"date":"2017-10-11T09:28:46","date_gmt":"2017-10-11T09:28:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=6629"},"modified":"2021-08-12T11:45:07","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T11:45:07","slug":"porque-fiquei","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/porque-fiquei\/","title":{"rendered":"Porque \u00e9 que fiquei"},"content":{"rendered":"

Everybody asks: \u201cWhy did you stay?\u201d, \u201cHow could you put up with that kind of treatment?\u201d, \u201cI would\u2019ve just left.\u201d I\u2019ve asked those same questions to others and made the same statements. But until you\u2019re inside the relationship, you have no idea what it\u2019s like. <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>I am kind and trusting, and I can honestly say this was so very different from any other beginning. I didn\u2019t even see it coming. This didn\u2019t start with sex and build from there as my relationships usually do. There were no sexual innuendos, no come-on\u2019s, no flirting; there were intelligent, mind-stimulating conversations, good advice both given and received, and quiet comfortable company. I fell in love with his mind, his friendship, his soul. <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>Olhando para tr\u00e1s, vejo claramente que n\u00e3o tinha a certeza de quem era e onde pertencia. Era rec\u00e9m-divorciada, m\u00e3e solteira, ap\u00f3s a reabilita\u00e7\u00e3o por abuso de \u00e1lcool. Tinha deixado de ter contacto com a maior parte da minha fam\u00edlia direta e estava a lutar para recuperar o respeito e a confian\u00e7a no meu emprego poderoso, bem pago e extremamente stressante, que era o \u00fanico sustento para mim e para os meus dois filhos adolescentes. <\/span><\/p>\n

Podia escapar ao mundo estruturado em que vivia e trabalhava e ser eu pr\u00f3pria ao p\u00e9 dele. No seu mundo, ningu\u00e9m julgava e toda a gente compreendia que todos t\u00ednhamos dificuldades que n\u00e3o eram melhores nem piores do que as dos outros. <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>But not knowing who you are and where you belong puts you in an extremely vulnerable and dangerous position if you\u2019re not careful. The more time I spent with him, the more we shared our individual hopes, dreams and greatest fears. Comecei a apaixonar-me por ele, e eventualmente a nossa amizade<\/a> went to the next level\u2014at my persuasion. <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>And I was completely taken aback by his bold displays of love and affection. It was obvious to anyone around us that we were together\u2014whether it be my hand on his back, his hand rubbing my leg, or his loving kiss goodbye in front of everyone. Friends and acquaintances that had known him for years said they\u2019d never seen him behave this way. <\/span><\/p>\n

Esses mesmos amigos diziam repetidamente que ele gostava de mim, que estava interessado em mim, que me queria por perto, que me respeitava, etc. Vi este dur\u00e3o, este mauz\u00e3o baixar a guarda e permitir-me experimentar o homem amoroso, suave e compassivo que queria ser tocado e amado.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>And love him I did. I valued and loved him dearly as my friend and that only deepened to a level I\u2019d never experienced. I was blown away by the depth and intensity of love I felt for him. In 21 years of marriage, children, and growing up with my ex husband, I never once felt the connection and depth of love as I did with him. Yet I knew from the beginning Eu amava-o mais do que ele me amava a mim. <\/a><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Mulher<\/p>\n


\n<\/span>I loved him with all of me\u2014with wild, reckless abandonment and would have moved heaven and earth for him. And for a short time, I was truly happy and content. I will always question if my love for him was too intense and was to blame for the demise of us. <\/span><\/p>\n

Did my intensity scare him, blind him, overwhelm him? Or was this the predestined fate of the universe to teach me something? There\u2019s no answer to my \u2018whys\u2019 and no point to asking \u2018what if\u2019s\u2019 because there\u2019s no way to get closure on anything that breaks you as wide open as he broke me. <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>Meses depois, olho para tr\u00e1s e percebo que fui intimidado, manipulado, mentido e amea\u00e7ado. Recebi o tratamento do sil\u00eancio, fui ignorado e dispensado. Fui brutalmente espancada, desmoralizada e voltei para mais. O homem por quem me apaixonei desapareceu poucas semanas depois de a nossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o se ter tornado sexual. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mas agora questiono-me if the whole relationship wasn\u2019t just an illusion<\/a> e fiquei com graves problemas de confian\u00e7a. Sempre tive confian\u00e7a na minha pr\u00f3pria intui\u00e7\u00e3o, perce\u00e7\u00e3o e discernimento, mas de repente estava a duvidar de tudo o que fazia.  <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>I wish I could say I was one of those brave, strong women you read about that wakes up and realizes she\u2019s worth more and leaves, but that\u2019s not my story. He left my bed one morning after an incredibly loving weekend and never came back.  He woke up one day and decided not to talk to me, not to tell me goodbye, nothing. And I was left reeling for months wondering what I did wrong, why wasn\u2019t I good enough, and blaming myself for not proving myself worthy enough for his love. <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>Agora, debato-me com os extremos polares das emo\u00e7\u00f5es que sinto. Amo profundamente e sinto falta do lado bondoso e gentil que ele me mostrou, mas odeio e temo o seu outro lado mau e violento. Como \u00e9 que posso sentir falta de algu\u00e9m que foi respons\u00e1vel por um comportamento t\u00e3o vil para comigo? Como \u00e9 que posso ter saudades de algu\u00e9m que violentamente esmagou o meu corpo com o seu \u00f3dio enquanto dizia amar-me? Fa\u00e7o-o porque o amor que senti era t\u00e3o incrivelmente poderoso que se sobrep\u00f4s e ofuscou qualquer intelecto. <\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>E assim come\u00e7o a minha viagem, um pequeno passo de cada vez, para libertar as poderosas garras do amor desiludido e caminhar em dire\u00e7\u00e3o ao amor-pr\u00f3prio e \u00e0 paz. <\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

por Cindy Richards<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everybody asks: \u201cWhy did you stay?\u201d, \u201cHow could you put up with that kind of treatment?\u201d, \u201cI would\u2019ve just left.\u201d I\u2019ve asked those same questions to others and made the same statements. But until you\u2019re inside the relationship, you have no idea what it\u2019s like. I am kind and trusting, and I can honestly say…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":6634,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6629","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/allef-vinicius-244440.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6629","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6629"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6629\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6634"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6629"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6629"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6629"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}