{"id":68381,"date":"2020-05-08T16:14:59","date_gmt":"2020-05-08T16:14:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=68381"},"modified":"2021-08-11T10:24:47","modified_gmt":"2021-08-11T10:24:47","slug":"como-nao-se-apaixonar-salve-se-quem-puder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/como-nao-se-apaixonar-salve-se-quem-puder\/","title":{"rendered":"Como n\u00e3o se apaixonar e se salvar de um desgosto"},"content":{"rendered":"

Are you one of those people who fall in love too fast and too hard? Yes? Then we’re the same.<\/p>\n

That’s exactly why I’m writing this guide on how to not fall in love and thus save yourself from being miserable for a long period of time \u2013 been there, done that.<\/p>\n

Essentially, there’s nothing wrong with being open and vulnerable, in fact, that’s admirable, but in order to save yourself from unwanted heartbreak, you need to create boundaries and have a good relationship with yourself first.<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s possible to learn how to control emotions, along with a few more tricks, in order to protect your heart successfully and avoid having it broken again.<\/em><\/p>\n

One of the reasons people fall in love easily is because they’re either very sensitive, hopeless romantics, or they\u2019ve been single for a while.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

I’m definitely a hopeless romantic and a dreamer. My views on love are lofty and sentimental and I’m not ashamed of it.<\/p>\n

However, I\u2019ve gotten stuck in situations I’d rather not experience again all because of my idealistic approach to dating.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s cost me my time, energy, and a lot of inner strength to get through heartbreak. Once you know the aching pain of unrequited or simply impossible love, you’re determined never to go through that pain again.<\/p>\n

Isso estraga toda a tua vida e muda-te para sempre.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I started being more cautious with my heart and developed a tactic for avoiding desgosto<\/a>.<\/p>\n

10 dicas para n\u00e3o se apaixonar<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Admit to yourself what you’re feeling<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you can’t accept something, you need to change it. If you can’t change it, you need to accept it.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 Molly Burke<\/p>\n

Para evitar apaixonar-se, \u00e9 preciso estar muito atento aos seus sentimentos em cada momento. O que \u00e9 que isso significa? Significa ser realista em rela\u00e7\u00e3o ao que sente e ver as coisas de forma objetiva.<\/p>\n

Passa uma quantidade alarmante de tempo a pensar neles? D\u00e1 por si a sorrir quando pensa neles?<\/p>\n

Do you feel nervous and extra pressure to look good when you’re about to see them? Does your heart go crazy when you see they texted you?<\/p>\n

Se a resposta for \"sim\" a todas as perguntas anteriores, ent\u00e3o \u00e9 poss\u00edvel que j\u00e1 tenha ca\u00eddo de cabe\u00e7a para baixo<\/a> mas se sentir apenas uma ligeira excita\u00e7\u00e3o, ainda tem uma hip\u00f3tese.<\/p>\n

Don’t let your brain trick you into thinking you have everything under control; that’s not how it works, trust me. The heart is a wild thing and it doesn’t listen to our brain.<\/p>\n

It pretty much makes fun of our attempts to rationalize things we can’t comprehend. Pay attention to what it wants and needs.<\/p>\n

Para nos salvarmos de um desgosto, precisamos de colocar alguns limites \u00e0s nossas necessidades e ao comportamento que elas provocam.<\/p>\n

For example, don’t ask them out and don’t go out when they ask you; don’t try to think of conversation openings, and stop listening to songs that remind you of them. Get busy with something else.<\/p>\n

Uma das melhores formas de redirecionar a sua energia \u00e9 lembrar-se dos objectivos que quer atingir sozinho e de todas as distrac\u00e7\u00f5es que o enamoramento pode causar.<\/p>\n

If you want to be as productive as you can \u2013 fall in love with yourself and follow your dreams.<\/p>\n

2. Analisar os seus sentimentos<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

\u201cThe essence of love begins when infatuation ends.\u201c<\/em> \u2013 Anonymous<\/p>\n

Paix\u00e3o<\/a> is pretty much like a spell. You don’t know what’s going on with you but you’re totally into it and then after it gets washed off you can’t believe the things you’ve done.<\/p>\n

That’s why a little common sense comes in handy. Before you do something silly or plain dumb ask yourself:<\/p>\n

Why am I doing this? Am I doing this to impress someone else? Am I doing this to prove something to myself? Maybe I’m just fed up with feeling lonely or need confirmation that I’m valuable?<\/em><\/p>\n

Nenhuma destas coisas \u00e9 raz\u00e3o suficiente para se mergulhar numa paix\u00e3o sem sentido. Tudo o que fizeres, deves faz\u00ea-lo com autenticidade.<\/p>\n

It should align with your true needs. That doesn’t include a need for recognition by others but by you.<\/p>\n

Observe the feelings that arise in you and try to see their origin. What do you really want from the interaction you’re insisting on? Is it something ego-based or completely selfless?<\/p>\n

O segredo \u00e9 sentir-se sempre satisfeito consigo pr\u00f3prio.<\/p>\n

Whatever you do, do it with integrity \u2013 not because of someone else and not to impress. If we pretend to be something we’re not, failure is inevitable.<\/p>\n

At one point you’ll be exhausted and all the make-believe will crumble before your eyes.<\/p>\n

No person can keep up with the high expectation they put on themself when trying to be good enough for the person they’re crushing on.<\/p>\n

The truth is you’re good enough already and if they don’t see it, there’s no point in being with them anyway.<\/p>\n

3. Criar limites<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will have.\u201c<\/em> \u2013 Anonymous<\/p>\n

Feelings of love can make us do crazy things. You know, like overlooking your partner’s shortcomings, pretending they’re perfect, giving them the tastiest piece of the meal and whatnot.<\/p>\n

Jokes aside, creating boundaries is an important topic. We don’t like to think about boundaries in a romantic relationship but the truth is \u2013 any kind of relationship needs boundaries. Especially if you don’t want to fall in love.<\/p>\n

Don’t let their pretty face make you forget about your boundaries. Don’t let them play with you. Don’t let yourself forget what you want \u2013 and that’s to not fall in love.<\/p>\n

Aprender a dizer n\u00e3o aos outros e a si pr\u00f3prio. N\u00e3o se apaixonar tem muito a ver com autodisciplina e com o conhecimento de si pr\u00f3prio, e a autodisciplina tem muito a ver com a elimina\u00e7\u00e3o das tenta\u00e7\u00f5es e com a manuten\u00e7\u00e3o das suas decis\u00f5es.<\/p>\n

4. Evitar o contacto com o seu crush<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

\u201cAll successes begin with self-discipline. It starts with you.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 Dwayne Johnson<\/p>\n

Mute and unfollow them on social media (that means you don’t have to unfriend them) and stop exchanging text messages and calls. That’s the first step.<\/p>\n

Seeing a person you don’t want to fall in love, especially in an Instagram post that is almost always the best possible looking version of them, isn’t going to get you far.<\/p>\n

As pessoas s\u00e3o tentadas por coisas aparentemente tang\u00edveis como as fotografias.<\/p>\n

Other than that, of course, you should avoid them in real life, even if you’re in a situation where you see them often or daily (at the job, for example). Spending time with somebody is crucial in falling in love with them.<\/p>\n

What do I mean by avoiding when they’re already at the same place as you? Avoid situations where there’s just two of you. Don’t have lunch together.<\/p>\n

Don’t come up with ideas of how to interact with them. Focus on your work and keep yourself busy.<\/p>\n

Don’t indulge in listening to songs or watching movies that make you think about them even more. Try not to glorify them but remember they’re human like everyone else.<\/p>\n

Think of every trait you find fascinating about them from a different point of view and remind yourself why you don’t want to fall in love in the first place.<\/p>\n

5. Refor\u00e7ar a sua auto-confian\u00e7a<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

\u201cDon’t compromise yourself \u2013 you’re all you have.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 John Grisham<\/p>\n

A autoestima tem um papel importante na forma como interagimos e nos sentimos em rela\u00e7\u00e3o aos outros. Para nos sentirmos satisfeitos connosco pr\u00f3prios, temos de nos sentir bem na nossa pr\u00f3pria pele. Ser solteiro \u00e9 a altura ideal para isso.<\/p>\n

Set goals for yourself and then start actively engaging in activities that lead you to your long term goals. Want to look a certain way? It’s possible.<\/p>\n

Want to learn a new language? Take up the new hobby \u2013 now’s the time.<\/p>\n

Preencha o seu tempo livre com conte\u00fados significativos e come\u00e7ar\u00e1 a sentir-se autossuficiente. Pode fazer por si o que pensa que os outros podem fazer por si; s\u00f3 precisa de ser determinado.<\/p>\n

There are many ways to boost self-confidence but the best way is to try doing something you always found admirable. Build a healthy relationship with yourself and you won’t be dependent on other people and their attention or approval.<\/p>\n

When you’re busy with something that truly interests you and fills you with the purpose it’s less likely that you will be distracted by falling in love.<\/p>\n

6. Aprender a controlar as suas emo\u00e7\u00f5es atrav\u00e9s da aten\u00e7\u00e3o plena<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

\u201cWithout desire there is stillness, and the world settles by itself.\u201c<\/em> \u2013 Lao Tzu<\/p>\n

The feeling that’s present when it comes to being in love is needing. You need to be with the person, you need to hear from them and see them.<\/p>\n

O teu mundo come\u00e7a a girar \u00e0 volta deles. Invadem os teus pensamentos porque sentes sempre uma esp\u00e9cie de desejo por algo que supostamente eles te podem dar.<\/p>\n

Consegue detetar o que \u00e9 isso? Porque \u00e9 que a aten\u00e7\u00e3o deles \u00e9 t\u00e3o importante para si? Porque \u00e9 que ela controla os seus pensamentos?<\/p>\n

That’s why you need to eliminate the need. To let go of need means to conquer oneself and the false feeling you need something or someone else to feel good on your own.<\/p>\n

When you learn to let go of fantasies deeply rooted in your desire to get approval from other people you’ll instantly learn how to not fall in love.<\/p>\n

7. Falar com os teus amigos sobre o assunto<\/h2>\n

\"duas<\/p>\n

\u201cOne good conversation can shift the direction of change forever.\u201c<\/em> \u2013 Linda Lambert<\/p>\n

Purposely ask your friends for a reality check! Your loved ones often know you well enough and love you enough to give you an objective and useful piece of advice. You\u2019ve got nothing to lose.<\/p>\n

Talking with someone else about something that’s consuming you can be very productive. Friends are friends for a reason. A good friend won’t sugarcoat anything.<\/p>\n

Al\u00e9m disso, passar tempo com os seus melhores amigos e familiares pode distrair a sua mente da sua paix\u00e3o e lembr\u00e1-lo de outras coisas importantes na vida.<\/p>\n

8. Prestar aten\u00e7\u00e3o aos sinais de alerta<\/h2>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.\u201c<\/em> \u2013 Maya AngelouThis one is important.<\/p>\n

Caring for your mental health means recognizing red flags on time. It doesn’t matter how much of a nice guy or girl they seem if you notice the following things you should step aside:<\/p>\n

They don’t start any form of interaction with you. They don’t start a conversation and they don’t make any kind of physical contact.<\/p>\n

They seem distracted all the time and don’t pay attention to what you’re saying. Now, these things mean they’re simply not into you.<\/p>\n

But if you notice they’re inconsiderate of other people, have inappropriate or offensive jokes, or a weird sense of entitlement, then that means they’re just not that much of a good person anyway. Why would you want that?<\/p>\n

9. Trabalhar nos seus objectivos pessoais<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

“If you don\u2019t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.”<\/em> \u2013 Lawrence J. Peter<\/p>\n

Setting goals is very important in the process of self-discipline. Shifting your focus from something unattainable to yourself and attainable means you\u2019re doing yourself a big favor.<\/p>\n

Por que raz\u00e3o \u00e9 t\u00e3o importante estabelecer objectivos e trabalhar neles? A raz\u00e3o n\u00famero um \u00e9 porque os objectivos nos d\u00e3o foco.<\/p>\n

Ter concentra\u00e7\u00e3o d\u00e1-nos uma perce\u00e7\u00e3o mais clara e ajuda-nos a resolver problemas e a tomar decis\u00f5es, o que acaba por nos ajudar na nossa situa\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Os objectivos d\u00e3o-nos motiva\u00e7\u00e3o e com a motiva\u00e7\u00e3o alcan\u00e7amos a grandeza.<\/p>\n

10. Recordar as suas rela\u00e7\u00f5es falhadas<\/h2>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

\u201cBeing single is definitely better than being with the wrong person.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 Hassan Choughari<\/p>\n

I don’t want to upset you but think about it: Do you remember your last relationship?<\/p>\n

And I’m not talking about the primeiro encontro<\/a>, I’m talking about how it ended. I bet it wasn’t fun. It could’ve easily been the worst period of your life.<\/p>\n

Antes de fantasiar com novas rela\u00e7\u00f5es, rebobine todas as suas rela\u00e7\u00f5es passadas e os seus finais. As rela\u00e7\u00f5es rom\u00e2nticas n\u00e3o s\u00e3o uma brincadeira!<\/p>\n

A successful love life requires a lot of energy, time, and dedication and you’re never sure if it’s going to actually work out in the end or not.<\/p>\n

In a sense, it’s like putting your life at stake. It’s gambling. Of course, some people are worth it, but if you know you don’t want to fall in love, motivate yourself by reminding yourself of the potential impending doom that comes after a failed relationship.<\/p>\n

It may be a little dark, but it’s very efficient.<\/p>\n

O que fazer se, mesmo assim, acabar por se apaixonar<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

\u201cThe mystery of life isn’t a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.\u201c<\/em> \u2013 Frank Herbert<\/p>\n

If you still end up falling in love, then there’s not much you can do about it. You’ll need to accept that some things are not meant to be.<\/p>\n

You need to recognize that pain you’re feeling is normal and allow yourself time to heal and sort out your emotions.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, things aren’t in our control no matter how hard we try. If love is unrequited or impossible, the truth is you’re better off without it.<\/p>\n

Don’t give up on yourself. Challenge your unhelpful thoughts and think of everything as a learning experience that will pass.<\/p>\n

Quase todas as pessoas passam por algum tipo de desgosto na sua vida.<\/p>\n

It’s important to realize that things don’t always go the way we imagine they will go and that we can’t control another person\u2019s feelings or actions.<\/p>\n

Be patient with yourself and soon you will find yourself ready to move on. Once you’re ready to move on, you’ll know it within your heart.<\/p>\n

Tudo na vida \u00e9 transit\u00f3rio e os sentimentos tamb\u00e9m o s\u00e3o. Eles podem evoluir e mudar, mas n\u00e3o permanecer\u00e3o os mesmos.<\/p>\n

To finish off this lengthy advice on how to not fall in love, I want to say that deep down inside everybody knows what they’re supposed to do when it comes to situations like this.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Infelizmente, raramente querem dar ouvidos a essa pequena voz da raz\u00e3o no fundo da sua mente e, em vez disso, optam por sofrer.<\/p>\n

That human tendency maybe relieves the basic human need to always choose and seek love, even when we think we don’t want it.<\/p>\n

Regardless of current knowledge of the physical and chemical reasons behind love and attraction \u2013 love remains a subject of mystery.<\/p>\n

If you fall in love, even if it’s unrequited \u2013 be happy that you’re able to feel deeply. At the end of the day, people’s lives are always about feelings. That’s just how we are. Don’t blame yourself for being what you are.<\/p>\n

Feelings are normal and we shouldn’t want to change ourselves to fit somebody else’s picture of success and an acceptable life.<\/p>\n

Don’t let yourself live with resentment and don’t let society (or anyone else) dictate your worth as a human being. Emotional or not, you have every right to be as you are and express yourself fully.<\/p>\n

Lembre-se que a auto-aceita\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 sempre o primeiro passo para atingir qualquer objetivo na vida, incluindo ser mais aut\u00eantico e, portanto, mais de acordo com os seus verdadeiros sentimentos, desejos e necessidades, o que acabar\u00e1 por o levar \u00e0 pessoa com quem est\u00e1 destinado a estar.<\/p>\n

\"Como<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you one of those people who fall in love too fast and too hard? Yes? Then we’re the same. That’s exactly why I’m writing this guide on how to not fall in love and thus save yourself from being miserable for a long period of time \u2013 been there, done that. Essentially, there’s nothing…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":68420,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29648],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-68381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-tips"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29648,"label":"dating tips"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/How-To-Not-Fall-In-Love-And-Save-Yourself-From-Heartbreak.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Selma June","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/selmajune\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29648,"name":"dating tips","slug":"dating-tips","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29648,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn to date like a pro and avoid making some of the biggest mistakes in texting, flirting, winning a man's heart, and commitment. ","parent":29643,"count":442,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29648,"category_count":442,"category_description":"Learn to date like a pro and avoid making some of the biggest mistakes in texting, flirting, winning a man's heart, and commitment. ","cat_name":"dating tips","category_nicename":"dating-tips","category_parent":29643}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68381","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=68381"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68381\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/68420"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=68381"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=68381"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=68381"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}