{"id":7325,"date":"2017-10-23T13:45:46","date_gmt":"2017-10-23T13:45:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=7325"},"modified":"2022-02-21T19:36:28","modified_gmt":"2022-02-21T19:36:28","slug":"fingir-se-forte-secretamente-odiar-sensivel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/fingir-se-forte-secretamente-odiar-sensivel\/","title":{"rendered":"Finjo que sou forte porque, secretamente, odeio o facto de ser sens\u00edvel"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sempre que me afasto de uma discuss\u00e3o, gostava de poder voltar atr\u00e1s. Sento-me na minha cama e revivo a situa\u00e7\u00e3o vezes sem conta, pensando o que teria acontecido se eu tivesse dito algo diferente.<\/a><\/p>\n

Or I come up with a good comeback and I hate myself for not thinking of it sooner\u2014like at the moment of the fight. But, of course, now it\u2019s too late.<\/p>\n

These things get to me so hard. I even can\u2019t remember all the dirty and disgusting things that someone said to me. I just block them out because I\u2019m not sure I could handle them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t handle confrontations so well. I get really upset when someone is out to get me. It really makes me anxious and it bothers me to the point I can\u2019t think straight. I\u2019m scared.<\/p>\n

Every time someone picks a fight with me, I lose this strong mask I\u2019ve put on or it starts to fade. I become transparent and my voice starts to slowly shake like I\u2019m going to cry\u2014and I walk away. I walk away because I am about to cry and I don\u2019t want anyone to see how sensitive I am. They would eat me alive.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t handle getting the smallest hint that someone is upset or angry with me because I never know why. How could anyone be angry with me? All I\u2019ve ever wanted and all I ever want is good. For everyone.<\/p>\n

Isso incomoda-me muito. I can\u2019t sleep at night<\/a>. I repeat the situation in my head millions of times. I overanalyze every little detail and I dwell on it for hours. It\u2019s insane how much time I spend obsessing over a few details that others wouldn\u2019t spend 2 minutes on.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I get so annoyed with the fact of how sensitive I am. I try to hide it because I won\u2019t accept it. I cannot let others see it. Every little detail gets to me like it\u2019s the most important thing in the world. I don\u2019t know. Maybe I\u2019m overreacting even now while I\u2019m writing this. But that\u2019s me\u2014taking things to heart and too seriously.<\/p>\n

Even if I\u2019m sure that the person who offended me or verbally attacked me is a complete asshole, it will still get to me. I will feel bad like I did something wrong either way.
\nI hate that I want to cry and run away instead of staying and fighting for myself. I do stay for as long as I can, but I leave because I can\u2019t take it anymore. Sensitivity is my biggest burden. It\u2019s the first emotion that takes me over, the first one I feel\u2014it\u2019s my instinct.<\/p>\n

\"Finjo<\/p>\n

Only after I calm myself down, anger takes over. An enormous rush of thoughts and sentences overwhelm me\u2014the things I could have said but didn\u2019t<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The worst thing is that I make myself look like a badass\u2014as if nothing can touch me. But in reality, underneath this mask I\u2019ve put on, hides a soft and sensitive heart. And when all passes, when everyone leaves, I let my soft side come to light. I let my emotions run wild.<\/p>\n

I pretend I don\u2019t care what others think, but I do. Hurtful things that someone says or does to me consume me. They bother me, but I make sure no one sees that.<\/p>\n

Sinto constantemente este fardo<\/a> pressing against my chest because I have to pretend I\u2019m something I\u2019m not. I\u2019ve mastered faking smiles and cracking jokes just to cover up how I really feel. And believe me, it\u2019s an Oscar-winning performance each time.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I always ruin my chances for happiness. I scare men away and I refuse giving anyone the slightest chance of trying to get near me. I pretend I don\u2019t care. This is how I break my own heart every time, and I\u2019m the first one to do it because I don\u2019t want to allow anyone to find out I\u2019m actually completely opposite from what I pretend to be.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m really bad at showing how I feel. Letting my emotions out in the open scares me the most. I will never say \u2018I love you\u2019 because I\u2019m not comfortable with it and I assume the other person knows that. So, there\u2019s no need for me to put myself in a difficult situation.<\/p>\n

This is why I look like I\u2019m cold and heartless but I\u2019m not. I know how to love and I love even a bit too much. And that is what scares me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I pretend I\u2019m strong because I wish I was. I wish that nothing would get to me. I wish my heart was bulletproof.<\/p>\n

Seria mais f\u00e1cil,<\/em><\/p>\n

Seria melhor.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every time I walk away from an argument, I wish I could just go back. I sit on my bed and I relive the situation over and over again, thinking what would have happened if I had said something differently. Or I come up with a good comeback and I hate myself for not thinking…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":7327,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29644],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29644,"label":"self-love"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/pexels-photo-349308.jpg",800,531,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tina Navarro","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/tatiana\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29644,"name":"self-love","slug":"self-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29644,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Self-love is not an option but a necessity. Boost your self-confidence, learn to love yourself and ditch toxicity because you deserve to be happy.","parent":29643,"count":290,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29644,"category_count":290,"category_description":"Self-love is not an option but a necessity. Boost your self-confidence, learn to love yourself and ditch toxicity because you deserve to be happy.","cat_name":"self-love","category_nicename":"self-love","category_parent":29643}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7325"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7325\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7327"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}