{"id":77197,"date":"2020-06-08T09:32:45","date_gmt":"2020-06-08T09:32:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=77197"},"modified":"2021-08-12T07:50:46","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T07:50:46","slug":"porque-e-que-magoamos-aqueles-que-amamos-11-razoes-ocultas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/porque-e-que-magoamos-aqueles-que-amamos-11-razoes-ocultas\/","title":{"rendered":"Porque \u00e9 que magoamos quem amamos: 11 raz\u00f5es ocultas"},"content":{"rendered":"

O amor \u00e9 verdadeiramente a arma mais poderosa. Pode fazer-nos sentir como se estiv\u00e9ssemos no s\u00e9timo c\u00e9u, mas tamb\u00e9m tem o poder de nos destruir. Toda a gente diz que o amor \u00e9 o sentimento mais bonito do mundo.<\/p>\n

Well, there is nothing beautiful about pain and I’m sure we have all been hurt by someone we loved \u2013 or we have unintentionally hurt someone we loved.<\/p>\n

Se o amor \u00e9 t\u00e3o bonito, porque \u00e9 que \u00e0s vezes d\u00f3i tanto? J\u00e1 alguma vez se perguntou porque \u00e9 que magoamos aqueles que amamos?<\/p>\n

The fact is that love can’t exist sem m\u00e1goa emocional<\/a>. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Por vezes, somos magoados pelas pessoas que mais amamos e, por vezes, magoamos os nossos entes queridos sem inten\u00e7\u00e3o, apesar de serem aqueles que mais queremos proteger.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Est\u00e1 cientificamente provado que as pessoas magoam mais os seus familiares ou as pessoas com quem partilham rela\u00e7\u00f5es \u00edntimas.<\/p>\n

This is because we know that, because they love us, they\u2019ll forgive us in no time and we’ll be able to move on without looking back.<\/p>\n

If you want to know why we hurt people we love the most, I\u2019ve listed some of the most common reasons below.<\/p>\n

Bagagem emocional<\/h2>\n

\"marido<\/p>\n

Sempre que se termina uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o, \u00e9 preciso tirar algum tempo para si pr\u00f3prio. \u00c9 preciso passar algum tempo sozinho e refletir sobre os seus pr\u00f3prios sentimentos.<\/p>\n

You need to forgive your exes for all of their broken promises, for all the times they let you down, and for the heartbreak they\u2019ve caused you.<\/p>\n

Antes de decidir voltar a namorar, \u00e9 preciso deixar o passado para tr\u00e1s.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You should never enter a new relationship if you have any unresolved matters from the past. Trust me, starting a new relationship when you aren’t ready never ends well.<\/p>\n

Also, it’s not fair to the other person. It’s not their fault that your ex betrayed and hurt you. Your new partner shouldn’t pay for someone else\u2019s mistakes.<\/p>\n

If you don’t move on properly, you’ll only hurt your next partner. You won’t be able to trust them. You won’t be able to relax and enjoy your new relationship.<\/p>\n

Claro que o seu bagagem emocional<\/a> can teach you some things but don’t take it too seriously.<\/p>\n

Don’t let your childhood experiences shape your opinion about love. Every love story is unique. The love story of your parents isn’t how yours should or will be like.<\/p>\n

If you let those experiences control your love life, it’ll only restrain you. It can confuse you or cause you even more pain than the heartbreak itself.<\/p>\n

That’s why it’s important for you to take time.<\/p>\n

Deve levar o tempo que for necess\u00e1rio para se curar corretamente, para pensar em tudo o que lhe aconteceu e, depois, para seguir em frente sem guardar rancores e amarguras.<\/p>\n

You aren’t sure if they’re “the one”<\/h2>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

You are in a relationship and you honestly love your significant other. However, you can’t get rid of the feeling that something is missing.<\/p>\n

You can’t imagine your future together and soon you start doubting whether you even want to spend the rest of your life with them.<\/p>\n

Come\u00e7a a afastar-se do seu parceiro porque quer pensar na sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Maybe you want to think about it so you don’t waste any more of their or your own precious time on a relationship that doesn’t have any future.<\/p>\n

The mistake that most of us make is that we don’t sit and talk honestly with our partners. They deserve to know what’s happening.<\/p>\n

You hurt your significant other, even though, sometimes you aren’t aware of it. They spend a lot of time looking for a reason why you\u2019ve become so cold all of a sudden.<\/p>\n

It also affects their self-esteem and self-worth. They start thinking they are the problem, that maybe they aren’t good enough for you.<\/p>\n

That’s why you need to think about your relationship and decide whether you want to break up or continue dating that person. Right after you’ve made the decision, you have to tell your partner.<\/p>\n

Medo do compromisso<\/h2>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

This is the most common reason for hurting the ones you love. It’s a feeling that’s not so easy to control.<\/p>\n

Muitas pessoas (especialmente homens) t\u00eam um medo do compromisso<\/a> quando v\u00eaem que a sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o est\u00e1 a tornar-se s\u00e9ria.<\/p>\n

Most are avoiding relationships in general or they only date short term. They don’t want to be tied down yet and they want to keep enjoying their freedom.<\/p>\n

Things get difficult when they fall in love. They can’t leave a person they love, but they also don’t want to take the next step.<\/p>\n

They get confused. Their mixed feelings don’t allow them to think clearly. It causes them to suffer from anxiety.<\/p>\n

It seems like they can’t explain to their partner that they don’t want to break up, but they also don’t want to commit to something more serious.<\/p>\n

Come\u00e7am a evitar falar sobre o futuro da sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Their partner is also confused because they don’t know what to think about the relationship \u2013 whether it’s doomed to fail or if they should give the other person some space.<\/p>\n

Medo da intimidade<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

If you’ve been dating someone for a while but still don’t feel comfortable around them, or you still can\u2019t show them the real you, it means that you’re afraid of intimacy.<\/p>\n

O medo de partilhar uma liga\u00e7\u00e3o emocional pr\u00f3xima com outra pessoa pode ser causado por experi\u00eancias do passado.<\/p>\n

As raz\u00f5es mais comuns s\u00e3o as experi\u00eancias de inf\u00e2ncia ou as m\u00e1s experi\u00eancias da sua \u00faltima rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

You always hurt the one you love because you’re afraid to indulge completely in a relationship. Your partner feels it and it seems to them that no matter what they do, they just can’t gain your trust.<\/p>\n

Eventually, they’ll stop trying. They’ll get tired and the only option for them will be to break up with you.<\/p>\n

That’s why you’ll never be able to achieve a real and deep connection with someone until you overcome your fear of intimacy.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, it is possible and it’s not difficult at all. The most important thing is that you always have to be honest with your partner about your past.<\/p>\n

Diga-lhes tamb\u00e9m como se sente e o que espera deles.<\/p>\n

Problemas de autoestima<\/h2>\n

\"imagem<\/p>\n

A rela\u00e7\u00e3o que tem consigo pr\u00f3prio \u00e9 a base de todas as outras rela\u00e7\u00f5es da sua vida, o que significa que afecta todas as outras rela\u00e7\u00f5es da sua vida.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Se tiver uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o boa e saud\u00e1vel consigo pr\u00f3prio, isso refletir-se-\u00e1 significativamente em todas as suas outras rela\u00e7\u00f5es.<\/p>\n

Infelizmente, hoje em dia, muitas pessoas t\u00eam problemas de autoestima e isso cria expectativas negativas em rela\u00e7\u00e3o a uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

If you don’t have self-confidence, you’ll always feel like your partner isn’t being honest with you and that they’ll eventually hurt you.<\/p>\n

That’s why you’ll also be afraid of showing your vulnerability in the relationship.<\/p>\n

You’ll hurt your partner by not trusting them or not being able to form a deeper connection with them, even after a while.<\/p>\n

Se est\u00e1 a sofrer de baixa autoestima<\/a> and you don’t work on yourself, you’ll be open to many negative feelings.<\/p>\n

You’ll have trust issues, you’ll feel depressed, jealous, and anxious all the time.<\/p>\n

Ci\u00fame<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Too much of everything isn’t healthy. It\u2019s the same with jealousy. It\u2019s never a good thing when you let jealousy blind you.<\/p>\n

The way you behave when you feel jealous is never predictable. It’s also one of those feelings that are hard to control.<\/p>\n

O ci\u00fame \u00e9 um sentimento negativo. Torna-nos infelizes e faz-nos magoar a pessoa que amamos. Quase sempre arru\u00edna a rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Se est\u00e1 a agir com ci\u00fames por causa de algo na sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o, tem de falar sobre isso com o seu parceiro. No entanto, deve prestar aten\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e0 forma como fala com ele.<\/p>\n

You mustn’t express anger or any other negative feelings. You have to calmly explain to your partner what is making you feel jealous and how you can find a solution to fix it.<\/p>\n

If your partner has betrayed your trust, then your jealousy is justified. But when you get jealous over little things, then you\u2019re not showing love; you\u2019re only revealing your own insecurities.<\/p>\n

You’re hurting the other person because of your own insecurities, not because they did something wrong. You’re making them pay for something they didn’t even do.<\/p>\n

If you have been hurt and betrayed by a person you loved in the past, it’s perfectly normal that those bad experiences have left you with trust issues.<\/p>\n

No entanto, n\u00e3o deve deixar que isso afecte a sua nova rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Se ter ci\u00fames de<\/a> something stupid or without any reaso\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200bn, you’re just making yourself and your loved one unhappy. It is a complete waste of time.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Falta de compet\u00eancias de comunica\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n

\"casal<\/p>\n

Uma comunica\u00e7\u00e3o eficaz \u00e9 a parte mais importante de qualquer rela\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Se aprender a resolver os seus problemas e brigas de uma forma saud\u00e1vel, nunca se magoar\u00e1 nem magoar\u00e1 o seu parceiro.<\/p>\n

Se voc\u00ea e o seu parceiro discutirem por alguma coisa (e v\u00e3o discutir, porque as discuss\u00f5es tamb\u00e9m fazem parte de qualquer rela\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel), tem de ser capaz de controlar as suas palavras e sentimentos.<\/p>\n

If you say something in the heat of the moment, something that might hurt your loved one, you may regret it later but it will be too late because you\u2019ll have already hurt your partner.<\/p>\n

Spoken words can’t be taken back and they’ll always be remembered.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Words are also powerful and that’s why you have to choose them carefully. They can crush someone’s heart.<\/p>\n

N\u00e3o importa quantas vezes pe\u00e7a desculpa e mesmo que ele decida perdo\u00e1-lo, o seu parceiro lembrar-se-\u00e1 sempre desses insultos.<\/p>\n

If you see that your partner isn’t communicating with you like they used to, the first thing you have to identify is “why”.<\/p>\n

Depois de descobrir a raz\u00e3o, tem de se sentar com o seu parceiro e resolver a situa\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Tamb\u00e9m tem de aprender a ser um bom ouvinte. Tem de se certificar de que o seu parceiro sabe que est\u00e1 a ouvi-lo e ao que ele tem para dizer.<\/p>\n

Quando h\u00e1 falta de comunica\u00e7\u00e3o, faz com que nos concentremos mais em n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios do que no nosso parceiro e vice-versa.<\/p>\n

You only think about your problems and the things that you don’t like \u2013 you don’t think about all the things that are bothering your significant other.<\/p>\n

Para testar os seus sentimentos<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

This might sound strange or funny, but it’s true. We want to make sure that our partner loves us as much as they say they do or as much as we love them, so we put their feelings to the test.<\/p>\n

We think if they honestly love us, then they will also be afraid of losing us. Consequently, they’ll be able to forgive us if we hurt them.<\/p>\n

In a way, that’s how we want them to prove their love to us. There are so many ways you can test your partner’s feelings and this is probably the worst one.<\/p>\n

If you have doubts about your partner’s feelings, you should be sincere with them and admit to them that you may have to be reassured at times.<\/p>\n

The next time you think about testing your loved one’s feelings by doing something that could hurt them, just imagine how you would feel if they did the same thing to you.<\/p>\n

Expectativas irrealistas<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Having expectations is great because it shows that you have some standards and you appreciate yourself. But, there’s a huge difference between knowing your self-worth and being overly demanding.<\/p>\n

Ter grandes expectativas \u00e9 um assassino para qualquer rela\u00e7\u00e3o. Primeiro, magoam-no a si, depois fazem-no querer magoar o seu parceiro por n\u00e3o ser capaz de satisfazer as suas expectativas<\/a>.<\/p>\n

You can’t expect your partner to behave the way you want them to all the time. They also have their own standards and there are some things that they won’t do, no matter how much they love you.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 claro que nunca devemos baixar os nossos padr\u00f5es e permitir que algu\u00e9m nos trate mal. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

No entanto, para bem do seu pr\u00f3prio bem-estar emocional, deve deixar de estabelecer expectativas t\u00e3o elevadas.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

You should set some basic and important boundaries that you mustn’t let anyone cross. For everything else, you can talk and compromise with your partner.<\/p>\n

When you realize that your partner is not able to fulfill all your expectations, you feel disappointed and hurt and you start thinking that they don’t even love you.<\/p>\n

You get mad and your intention becomes to hurt them. Can you see it? In the end, It\u2019s only your fault you\u2019re hurt and disappointed.<\/p>\n

Antes de definir essas expectativas para o seu parceiro, deve saber que as expectativas irrealistas conduzem sempre a uma grande desilus\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Procura uma forma de sair de uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Terminar uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o nunca \u00e9 f\u00e1cil, mas a \u00fanica forma correcta de o fazer \u00e9 dizer ao seu parceiro pessoalmente.<\/p>\n

If you hurt them so as to manipulate them into leaving you, it only means that you’re a coward for not being brave enough to tell them to their face.<\/p>\n

Maybe you’re hurting them because you can’t admit even to yourself that your relationship has come to an end.<\/p>\n

Maybe you’re doing it unintentionally.<\/p>\n

However, that’s not an excuse. If you’re not sure how you feel about them anymore, you can always ask them for some space to be alone with your thoughts.<\/p>\n

Depois disso, a \u00fanica coisa correcta a fazer \u00e9 ter a coragem de lhes dizer o que decidiu.<\/p>\n

Vingan\u00e7a<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Your partner has hurt you and you have chosen to forgive him and move on with your relationship. However, you aren’t at peace and you might start thinking that only revenge can make you feel better.<\/p>\n

Some people believe in that kind of \u2018an eye for an eye\u2019 justice.<\/p>\n

Acreditam, sem qualquer d\u00favida, que se fizerem algo que fa\u00e7a o seu parceiro sofrer, isso far\u00e1 com que se sintam melhor e que a sua dor emocional diminuir\u00e1.<\/p>\n

Wrong. Revenge only brings more negative feelings and you still won’t feel any better. Your pain will still be there.<\/p>\n

O mais importante \u00e9 que, quando decidimos perdoar algu\u00e9m por algo que nos fez, temos de o fazer com sinceridade.<\/p>\n

Trust me, if you’re still holding grudges, even though you’ve said that you\u2019ve forgiven your partner, you’ll only hurt yourself.<\/p>\n

H\u00e1 muitas raz\u00f5es para magoarmos as pessoas que amamos. O mais importante \u00e9 que quase sempre o fazemos sem inten\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

After all, there\u2019s one thing we should all know; we can’t intentionally hurt the person we love without hurting ourselves, because when we truly love someone, we feel their pain as our own.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"PORQUE<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Love is truly the most powerful weapon. It can make you feel like you are in seventh heaven but it also has the power to destroy you. Everyone says that love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. Well, there is nothing beautiful about pain and I’m sure we have all been hurt by…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":77236,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29637],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-77197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-hacks"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29637,"label":"life hacks"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Why-Do-We-Hurt-The-Ones-We-Love_jpg.jpg",800,502,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29637,"name":"life hacks","slug":"life-hacks","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29637,"taxonomy":"category","description":"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade, and allow these life hacks to remind you of your strength, potential, and the right to be happy.","parent":22911,"count":281,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29637,"category_count":281,"category_description":"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade, and allow these life hacks to remind you of your strength, potential, and the right to be happy.","cat_name":"life hacks","category_nicename":"life-hacks","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=77197"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77197\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/77236"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=77197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=77197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=77197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}