{"id":84490,"date":"2020-07-09T09:47:39","date_gmt":"2020-07-09T09:47:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=84490"},"modified":"2021-08-12T12:27:34","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T12:27:34","slug":"alguem-que-amas-magoa-te-profundamente","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/alguem-que-amas-magoa-te-profundamente\/","title":{"rendered":"Como lidar quando algu\u00e9m que amamos nos magoa profundamente?"},"content":{"rendered":"

S\u00f3 conhecemos a verdadeira dor emocional quando algu\u00e9m que amamos nos magoa e nos causa um desgosto que nunca soubemos que existia.<\/p>\n

O facto de um ente querido nos ter arrancado o cora\u00e7\u00e3o e n\u00e3o assumir a responsabilidade pela dor quase f\u00edsica que causou provoca muitos sentimentos negativos.<\/p>\n

Here, we’ll discuss the most effective ways to cope with this burden.<\/p>\n

Esperar que n\u00e3o fiquemos magoados quando algu\u00e9m nos magoa \u00e9 uma das piores partes de lidar com esta situa\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Lembro-me do imenso desgosto que senti quando o meu companheiro de quase tr\u00eas anos me deixou apenas alguns dias antes do nosso anivers\u00e1rio de casamento.<\/p>\n

A separa\u00e7\u00e3o j\u00e1 tinha sido suficientemente dolorosa, mas ele esperava que eu perdoasse e esquecesse quando a dor no cora\u00e7\u00e3o era demasiado forte.<\/p>\n

As if letting go of your significant other, then just putting on a smile the next day was somehow normal… But it did teach me a few things.<\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: 18 maneiras simples de dar prioridade a si pr\u00f3prio da forma que merece<\/a><\/p>\n

Podemos de alguma forma aprender com a dor?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

”Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”<\/em> – Pema Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n<\/p>\n

Acredito firmemente que isto \u00e9 verdade. A dor est\u00e1 aqui para nos ensinar li\u00e7\u00f5es que nunca soubemos que precis\u00e1vamos. E por muito dura que pare\u00e7a por vezes, acaba por nos transformar numa pessoa mais forte.<\/p>\n

Seja quem for que tenha causado a sua dor, o desconforto que sente posteriormente \u00e9 t\u00e3o doloroso quanto esclarecedor.<\/p>\n

Talvez tenha sido o seu melhor amigo que decidiu que j\u00e1 n\u00e3o era suficientemente bom para ele.<\/p>\n

Talvez tenha sido um colega de trabalho com quem acreditava ter criado um la\u00e7o duradouro, mas que acabou por ouvir falar mal de si no escrit\u00f3rio.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, it’s a family member who shows their true feelings toward you the first time you dare put your mental health above their incessant demands.<\/p>\n

A dor \u00e9 universal. Nenhum ser vivo nesta terra est\u00e1 isento de estar sob a coa\u00e7\u00e3o de uma dor emocional devastadora.<\/strong><\/p>\n

However, most people can’t see beyond what they feel at a particular moment. To most, pain is a major inconvenience that wreaks havoc on their life and causes them to spend time trying to cope.<\/p>\n

It is in our nature to crave pleasure and expect the pain to go around us. It’s embedded in our brain that pain is an uncomfortable feeling that does nothing but hurt us.<\/p>\n

Mas j\u00e1 parou para pensar no que a dor pode realmente ensinar-lhe?<\/em><\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Pain is your body’s signal that changes need to be made. No matter the type of pain, it’s a sign that appropriate measures need to be taken in order to get better and more resilient.<\/p>\n

Quando encaramos a nossa dor de frente, em vez de a suprimirmos e deixarmos que ela nos queime por dentro, temos a vantagem.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ignorar n\u00e3o faz nada de bom, mas ser proactivo coloca-o no comando desta experi\u00eancia negativa. Exige uma vontade forte, muita coragem e determina\u00e7\u00e3o para se levantar e sair do outro lado.<\/p>\n

Pessoalmente, quando sou confrontado com uma dor enorme, pergunto-me o seguinte: Como \u00e9 que posso usar esta experi\u00eancia dura e negativa como um meio de introspe\u00e7\u00e3o pessoal?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

In the back of my mind, I always try to think of ways that’ll allow positivity to find me and help me regain self-love before I burn out.<\/p>\n

Let’s be honest\u2014pain pushes us to see things from a different point of view.<\/p>\n

Faz-nos dar um passo atr\u00e1s, reavaliar a situa\u00e7\u00e3o e perceber como contribu\u00edmos para a situa\u00e7\u00e3o em que nos encontramos atualmente. Faz-nos ver o panorama geral e o que realmente importa naquele momento.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, you’ll find it difficult to see what it’s trying to teach you and other times, it’s going to be clear as day. Ask yourself this:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Why is this happening to me?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2022 How have I affected my current disposition?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2022 How can I let this make me more careful and stronger in the future?<\/em><\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: Porque \u00e9 que magoamos quem amamos: 11 raz\u00f5es ocultas<\/a><\/p>\n

7 t\u00e9cnicas para o ajudar a lidar com a dor de algu\u00e9m que o magoa<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1. Consider what actually happened and don’t react instinctively<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

\u00c9 normal deixar que os nossos instintos nos guiem quando algu\u00e9m que amamos nos magoa.<\/p>\n

At that particular moment, it’s difficult to keep a cool and collected head and oftentimes, we let our heart take over.<\/p>\n

We’re only human after all.<\/p>\n

E, na maioria das vezes, o nosso instinto d\u00e1-nos uma indica\u00e7\u00e3o bastante clara do que realmente aconteceu e de como devemos reagir.<\/p>\n

However, I encourage you to try to find the possible hidden truth in order to be certain that you’re not letting old pain affect your current reaction.<\/p>\n

Por vezes, o verdadeiro amor deixa-nos a todos cegos. Quer dizer, o que \u00e9 que se faz quando a pessoa com quem esper\u00e1vamos passar a nossa vida para sempre nos deixa \u00e0s cegas com uma m\u00e1goa que nunca previmos?<\/p>\n

No entanto, depois de a rea\u00e7\u00e3o inicial, avassaladora, nos ter dominado e nos ter permitido ver as coisas como elas s\u00e3o, s\u00f3 ent\u00e3o devemos reagir adequadamente.<\/p>\n

Remember, it’s always best to react intentionally as opposed to instinctively. It might feel good for a second but in the great scheme of the things, it won’t bring you closure.<\/p>\n

2. N\u00e3o presumir que se tem sempre raz\u00e3o<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Remember\u2014there are two sides to every story. While nobody is denying your pain, consider every possible outlook before claiming to be in the right.<\/p>\n

A necessidade de ter sempre raz\u00e3o pode ter origem em experi\u00eancias passadas infelizes de abuso emocional.<\/p>\n

Isto pode t\u00ea-lo tornado incapaz de perder o controlo e de esperar estar sempre do lado certo da hist\u00f3ria.<\/p>\n

No entanto, a verdade \u00e9 que toda a gente tem direito a ser ouvida e compreendida.<\/p>\n

Different opinions are anything but uncommon and in such situations, it’s important to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.<\/p>\n

Pode tentar ver as coisas na perspetiva deles? O que \u00e9 que os pode ter feito sofrer (possivelmente sem inten\u00e7\u00e3o)?<\/p>\n

It’s okay to disagree but for your emotional well-being, it’s crucial to see things for what they are and not for what you need them to be.<\/p>\n

When someone you love hurts you so deeply, it’s normal to be vulnerable and hesitant to admit to having had something to do with it.<\/p>\n

But you’re going to have to dig deep to see how your actions may have led to this current state.<\/p>\n

Yes, it hurts and yes, you’re entitled to your pain. But don’t be the person to throw the first stone. We all have our faults and no story is as simple as we might want it to be.<\/p>\n

You can still hurt and be broken even if you’re able to admit that you have somehow contributed to how it all turned out.<\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: Como fazer com que uma pessoa evitante sinta a sua falta: 10 t\u00e9cnicas comprovadas<\/a><\/p>\n

3. Saber que, por vezes, a outra pessoa n\u00e3o tem salva\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

A real change in our mind, body and soul has to come from within. It isn’t and shouldn’t ever be affected by external factors.<\/p>\n

A change will never be what you need it to be until you’re ready for it to take place. The shift in your psyche happens when you and solely you come to certain realizations.<\/p>\n

E uma dessas coisas \u00e9 que as outras pessoas n\u00e3o podem ser mudadas, por muito que se insista nisso.<\/p>\n

If they’re not ready, it simply won’t happen. The circumstances have to be right and their willpower has to be strong.<\/p>\n

You cannot carry another person’s emotional burden on your back.<\/p>\n

Quando algu\u00e9m que amamos nos magoa, \u00e9 essa pessoa que precisa de crescer. E tudo por sua conta.<\/p>\n

You can nudge them, encourage them and just be there for them but it’s on them whether or not they’ll let this experience improve their behavior or push them further down the rabbit hole.<\/p>\n

Uma pessoa tem de estar disposta a tomar uma decis\u00e3o intencional para acionar um interrutor. A \u00fanica quest\u00e3o \u00e9: Quer ser diferente? Quer aprender com os seus erros?<\/p>\n

If they don’t, there’s nothing you can do about it. It isn’t your job to carry them toward their happily-ever-after. It isn’t your job to save them.<\/p>\n

E o comprimido mais dif\u00edcil de engolir \u00e9 este: Algumas pessoas simplesmente n\u00e3o t\u00eam salva\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

No matter what you do, they will always choose to be the bad guy in your story. No matter how deeply you wish for them to get better for them and for you, it won’t happen.<\/p>\n

Pode oferecer o seu apoio inabal\u00e1vel caso decida perdoar-lhes. Pode ser a sua voz da raz\u00e3o se eles precisarem de si. Mas o trabalho \u00e1rduo \u00e9 deles e s\u00f3 deles.<\/p>\n

4. Assumir os seus erros que possam ter contribu\u00eddo para a sua dor<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

A introspe\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 uma coisa boa. Incentiva o crescimento pessoal, faz-nos sentir libertos e permite-nos amadurecer sem guardar rancores infantis.<\/p>\n

However, upon reevaluating this situation, be one hundred percent sure that we’re talking about a erro leg\u00edtimo<\/em>. Don’t be coerced into admitting to something that wasn’t your doing.<\/p>\n

Additionally, don’t allow yourself to let your past negative experiences affect how you react to your current predicament.<\/p>\n

Just because you may have been hurt in the past, you don’t get a free pass to skate guilt-free throughout this ordeal.<\/p>\n

You don’t get to treat the other person in a horrible manner due to your tough past.<\/p>\n

Reconhe\u00e7a que eles n\u00e3o s\u00e3o culpados pelo que voc\u00ea passou. N\u00e3o foram eles que o magoaram ou contribu\u00edram para a sua ansiedade ou medo de estar perto de algu\u00e9m.<\/p>\n

While you’re entitled to your pain, it doesn’t mean that you are never at fault so be sure to always own up to your mistakes without pointing fingers where they don’t belong.<\/p>\n

We’ve all been shaped by our past, some negatively, some positively, but that isn’t an excuse to not be a decent human being.<\/p>\n

I’m sure you’re aware of that now, so simply remind yourself to say sorry when an apology is due.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, that’s all you need for a clean slate.<\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: Usar o poder das palavras com sabedoria mudar\u00e1 sua vida<\/a><\/p>\n

5. Pensar, avaliar e depois responder<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Depois da rea\u00e7\u00e3o inicial, d\u00ea a si pr\u00f3prio uma boa oportunidade para fazer uma pausa e pensar muito bem no que acabou de acontecer.<\/p>\n

Wait a little while before you do or say something you may end up regretting. Sometimes, that’s the key to a brand new, eye-opening point of view.<\/p>\n

This way, you start regaining control of the situation. By simply reacting, you’re only adding fuel to the fire. And we all know that’s not good.<\/p>\n

Your past experiences may have caused you to have certain triggers that the other person unknowingly activates with their actions. But remember\u2014they don’t know that they’re doing this, only you do.<\/p>\n

Por isso, pare, pense, avalie e depois responda adequadamente, pois esta compet\u00eancia permitir\u00e1 que a sua rea\u00e7\u00e3o tenha mais significado e lhe d\u00ea poder.<\/p>\n

Educate them on how they are making you feel, even though they’re oblivious to it (and rightfully so). A person cannot know what goes on in your mind until you tell them.<\/p>\n

Ajude-os a compreender como e porque \u00e9 que isso o faz sentir-se assim.<\/p>\n

Like I already said, true love can be blind and sometimes, it’s on you to open their eyes to the reality of their actions and help them help you.<\/p>\n

This does not excuse their behavior but it does mean that it could’ve been completely inadvertent. Yeah, they caused you emotional pain but they didn’t know they were pushing your buttons.<\/p>\n

And the good thing is that now, after having heard your side of the story, they’re bound to know better in the future.<\/p>\n

6. Construir pontes, n\u00e3o muros!<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

What exactly does this mean? It’s pretty simple really. Don’t take a defensive stance and build walls around your heart.<\/p>\n

Em vez disso, tome uma posi\u00e7\u00e3o que seja alimentada por um sentimento de amor, perd\u00e3o e aceita\u00e7\u00e3o!<\/p>\n

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re okay with having been hurt. Far from it. But it’s way better than having a hostile attitude that doesn’t allow for growth and leaves zero room for forgiveness.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 mais f\u00e1cil lidar com situa\u00e7\u00f5es desagrad\u00e1veis quando se abre o cora\u00e7\u00e3o, a mente e a alma. Quando praticar conscientemente uma atitude positiva, isso ajud\u00e1-lo-\u00e1 a encontrar o seu caminho na escurid\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Their actions aren’t justified by this and you don’t have to forgive and forget until you’re completely ready.<\/p>\n

Est\u00e1 simplesmente a tomar a decis\u00e3o de reagir de uma forma calma que lhe trar\u00e1 mais paz do que uma postura defensiva alguma vez poderia trazer.<\/p>\n

Construir pontes, n\u00e3o muros. Convide o perd\u00e3o, n\u00e3o os rancores. Deixar que as pessoas expiem os seus erros, em vez de ficarem amargas e ressentidas.<\/p>\n

Quando deixar espa\u00e7o para uma poss\u00edvel reconcilia\u00e7\u00e3o, sentir\u00e1 imediatamente um grande al\u00edvio no seu cora\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Para al\u00e9m disso, a probabilidade de a pessoa que o magoou caminhar na sua dire\u00e7\u00e3o em vez de se afastar de si \u00e9 extremamente elevada.<\/p>\n

Escolhe a estrada mais alta. Seja a pessoa mais importante. Mostre a sua vontade e capacidade de perdoar e de dar uma segunda oportunidade.<\/p>\n

Not everyone’s heart is capable of this but it costs nothing to be kind even when faced with horrible pain and it shows great strength and resilience on your part.<\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: Os 10 sinais mais \u00f3bvios de que o teu ex est\u00e1 a fingir que te esqueceu<\/a><\/p>\n

7. Others’ mistakes should never affect your overall happiness<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

The most reassuring thing I’ve realized contemplating this is the following…<\/p>\n

VOC\u00ca \u00e9 o respons\u00e1vel pela sua felicidade. N\u00e3o \u00e9 o seu melhor amigo, nem o seu parceiro, nem os seus familiares. \u00c9 o \u00fanico que escolhe como vai reagir e qual ser\u00e1 a sua atitude.<\/p>\n

If you’ve been experiencing a heartbreak that could very well have been unintentional, ask yourself, ”Why I am adamant to hold on to this pain and therefore, magnifying its harm to me?”<\/em><\/p>\n

This should give you a clear sense of what your next course of action should be. Letting go isn’t easy but it is very much necessary if you want to be happy and at peace.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, if you’ve endured intentional pain by a close loved one who you were able to forgive, this is what you need to ask yourself: “If the damage is done and the mistakes are forgiven, why am I making myself relive this over and over?”<\/em><\/p>\n

And finally, if the pain was very much intentional and you still haven’t been able to bring yourself to forgive them, do the following:<\/p>\n

Ask yourself if that person is worth the pain you’re feeling right now. Do they deserve to occupy such a large portion of your mind?<\/p>\n

I think you’ll find in most cases that they don’t. And then, you’re going to find a way to move past it for yourself and your inner peace.<\/p>\n

Nobody deserves to be the cause of your incessant pain. So you forgive them but don’t allow them back into your heart.<\/p>\n

Desta forma, pode seguir em frente com a consci\u00eancia tranquila, menos uma pessoa t\u00f3xica.<\/em><\/p>\n

Em breve, um enorme peso ser\u00e1 retirado dos seus ombros e a vida tornar-se-\u00e1 novamente suport\u00e1vel.<\/p>\n

You Can’t Shield Yourself From Pain But You Can Let It Bring Positive Changes.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h3>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

There’s no way around it. Sooner or later, pain is going to find you. All your hard work, self-love and perseverance will be questioned when someone you love hurts you.<\/em><\/p>\n

However, that pain doesn’t define you. If you choose to look at it calmly, from a rational point of view, it can actually bring you peace.<\/p>\n

Forgiving isn’t easy, but you don’t do it for them\u2014you do it for your own darn self.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Doesn’t that make it a little easier?<\/p>\n

Depois de ter suportado esta dor, pode escolher quem deixar entrar e de quem nunca mais se aproximar. A sua vida sofre uma mudan\u00e7a positiva e o seu cora\u00e7\u00e3o pode recuperar.<\/p>\n

You’ve been hurt but you managed to come out the other way. Now you’re stronger, more resilient and your self-love is thriving. What more can you ask for?<\/p>\n

Em \u00faltima an\u00e1lise, ganha. Pode seguir em frente com uma folha limpa, escolhendo conscientemente a felicidade em vez de tudo o que a afasta dela.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t control the world. We can only (barely) control our own reactions to it. Happiness is largely a choice, not a right or entitlement.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 David C. Hill<\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: Confie em mim, voc\u00ea est\u00e1 exatamente onde precisa de estar agora<\/a><\/p>\n

\"COMO<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You only know real emotional pain when someone you love hurts you and causes you heartbreak you never knew existed. Having a loved one rip your heart out and not take responsibility for the almost physical pain they caused results in a lot of negative feelings. Here, we’ll discuss the most effective ways to cope…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":84514,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29636],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-84490","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-help"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29636,"label":"self help"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/How-Do-You-Cope-When-Someone-You-Love-Hurts-You-Deeply_.jpg",800,507,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29636,"name":"self help","slug":"self-help","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29636,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","parent":22911,"count":314,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29636,"category_count":314,"category_description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","cat_name":"self help","category_nicename":"self-help","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84490","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=84490"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84490\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/84514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=84490"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=84490"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=84490"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}