{"id":8540,"date":"2017-11-15T11:33:23","date_gmt":"2017-11-15T11:33:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=8540"},"modified":"2021-08-31T08:39:47","modified_gmt":"2021-08-31T08:39:47","slug":"7-pequenos-lembretes-para-guardar-no-bolso-quando-se-perde-um-dos-pais","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/7-pequenos-lembretes-para-guardar-no-bolso-quando-se-perde-um-dos-pais\/","title":{"rendered":"7 pequenos lembretes para guardar no bolso de tr\u00e1s depois de perder um dos pais"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. N\u00e3o havia nada que se pudesse fazer para o impedir<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Guilt preys on us. It engulfs us and tricks us into believing we have any control over what is destined to occur in our lives \u2013 especially when it comes to the death of a loved one. If you had been there when they died, the end result would have been the same. If you had not been there, or if you were out shopping, or at work, or still in bed, the end result would have been you getting that dreadful phone call, and driving panicked to your parents\u2019 house wondering how things were so different and blissful the day prior. <\/span><\/p>\n

Death is out of our control, and living a life constantly wondering if things would have been different is one of the worst parts of the grieving process. You did all you could and you\u2019ll learn to accept that.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. \u00c9 permitido divertir-se<\/strong> <\/span><\/h1>\n

The grieving process is not on a stopwatch. It doesn\u2019t tell you when your grieving will be over because if I\u2019m being honest with you, it\u2019ll never be over. Time does not heal the wound of losing a parent and it never will. <\/span><\/p>\n

But, time does make you stronger, and capable of pushing past those obstacles that crippled you early on. This includes having fun. It\u2019s okay to laugh at something truly funny. It\u2019s okay to laugh at silly memories, to go out for coffee, to watch your favorite movie or to take a vacation. It is okay to go out to eat after your parent\u2019s funeral, along with friends who will make you laugh. <\/span><\/p>\n

It seems so outrageous, the idea of carrying on with your life, but the bottom line is that those little breaks of enjoying the world around you are what heal you. It\u2019s impossible to live a mentally healthy life if you don\u2019t allow yourself to get back to enjoy the things you loved about life before you lost them. <\/span><\/p>\n

3. People don\u2019t understand what you\u2019re going through, until they\u2019ve been through it themselves<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

This is why you have to make a conscientious effort to always be honest when you\u2019re talking about your loss and your sadness to another loved one or friend. People will say the routine lines: that time heals all, that your mother would want you to be happy but the bottom line is that all their phrasing is easier said than done. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to ask for that person to not give advice so they can allow you to just vent. It\u2019s okay if you ask someone not to feed you that line because right now, you just need them to be physically there to listen because listening \u2013 not the lines \u2013 is what makes it better.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Mulher<\/p>\n

4. Holidays will suck, but that doesn\u2019t mean you still can\u2019t celebrate them<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Quando a minha m\u00e3e faleceu em fevereiro, temi a chegada do inverno sem ela. No entanto, com o passar do tempo, celebrar o meu anivers\u00e1rio, comprar decora\u00e7\u00f5es de Natal e beber gemada enquanto via o seu filme preferido do Will Ferrell tornou-se mais f\u00e1cil. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s still hard. It sucks that my mom won\u2019t be around to help trim the tree, or that I won\u2019t hear her huff and puff and complain that she\u2019s getting the tree from the attic, or to not have her leave me voicemails stating when the next Santa Claus movie is coming on Freeform. <\/span><\/p>\n

It sucks to see my dad so broken, so miserable about celebrating anything without her. But, not celebrating a season we always loved doesn\u2019t feel right to me \u2013 and that\u2019s perfectly okay. It\u2019s a sign of progress that you want to indulge yourself in a familiar tradition, and you should never feel pressured to give up or give in to celebrating something you\u2019re not ready for. <\/span><\/p>\n

5. You can\u2019t fix this \u2013 and that\u2019s okay<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

The hardest lesson I\u2019ve had to learn through losing my mom is that it\u2019s a situation I\u2019m powerless to fix. I can\u2019t make my dad happier because the only thing that will bring him full circle is if my mom comes back to him. I can\u2019t fix my bad days because I\u2019m destined to a life where I will have them, because losing my mom, my best friend, has been the worst pain I\u2019ve ever felt in my young, twenty seven years. <\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t make time go faster than it already is and I need to accept that everyone in my family who is dealing with this has to deal with it at their own pace.<\/span><\/p>\n

6. \u00c9 preciso cuidar de si pr\u00f3prio antes de poder cuidar dos outros<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

After losing my mom, I became kind of obsessed with making sure my dad was getting out of the house and having him go on adventures to take his mind off it \u2013 and to also make sure he wasn\u2019t alone. We\u2019d talk about my mom and sometimes I\u2019d just listen to how he felt. <\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes that meant, in my mind, not putting my emotions on him. Sometimes it meant me keeping everything in and letting it pile up until I found myself feeling overwhelmed by a whole swirling load of sadness. It\u2019s vital to take time for yourself first. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s vital to care for yourself first. It\u2019s vital to indulge in your hobbies first, enjoy your downtime first. It\u2019s vital to give yourself a mental health break, to make sure your needs are being met because that\u2019s the only way you can be strong for others \u2013 and be strong for yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n

7. Don\u2019t be so hard on yourself \u2013 you\u2019re doing fine<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Dealing with the loss of a loved one is only something you know how to deal with once it\u2019s happened to you. There is no race or time frame as to when you\u2019ll heal. There is no book that tells you how to do it because we all grieve differently. You have to be mindful to not be so hard on yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n

Remember you\u2019re still allowed to have fun and to enjoy the little things because if there\u2019s anything that\u2019s true in this life, it\u2019s that the parent you lost would want you to do those things. They wouldn\u2019t want you to be miserable every second of every day. They would want you to live your life, and it is absolutely acceptable for you to do so in your own time. You\u2019ve dealt with a lot, and you\u2019re doing fine. Never forget that.<\/span><\/p>\n

by\u00a0Courtney Dercqu<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. There was nothing you could do to stop it Guilt preys on us. It engulfs us and tricks us into believing we have any control over what is destined to occur in our lives \u2013 especially when it comes to the death of a loved one. If you had been there when they died,…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":8541,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29624],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8540","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends-and-family"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29624,"label":"friends&family"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/patryk-sobczak-339.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29624,"name":"friends&family","slug":"friends-and-family","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29624,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","parent":29620,"count":316,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29624,"category_count":316,"category_description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","cat_name":"friends&family","category_nicename":"friends-and-family","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8540","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8540"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8540\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8541"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8540"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8540"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8540"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}