{"id":85441,"date":"2020-07-09T08:51:51","date_gmt":"2020-07-09T08:51:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=85441"},"modified":"2022-01-24T18:42:40","modified_gmt":"2022-01-24T18:42:40","slug":"como-deixar-de-procurar-a-validacao-dos-outros","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/como-deixar-de-procurar-a-validacao-dos-outros\/","title":{"rendered":"Como deixar de procurar a valida\u00e7\u00e3o dos outros para come\u00e7ar a prosperar"},"content":{"rendered":"

Procurar a valida\u00e7\u00e3o dos outros \u00e9 um dos maiores inimigos de qualquer <\/span>ser humano<\/span> porque a necessidade do <\/span>aprova\u00e7\u00e3o dos outros<\/span> mata a liberdade e bloqueia a sua <\/span>verdadeiro eu<\/span>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Isto \u00e9 o que est\u00e1 a acontecer na mente de uma pessoa que tem tend\u00eancia para <\/span>procura de valida\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span>:<\/span><\/p>\n

“If I wear that one outfit, my date will think that I’m too casual and not trying hard enough. If I don’t compliment her\/his hairstyle, they’ll get mad at me (even though I think their previous hairstyle was better). <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

If I don’t look awesome in this photo, I won’t get many likes on <\/span><\/i>redes sociais<\/span><\/i><\/a>. If I do this or that, they will criticize me and think that I’m insane. But if I manage to meet their needs and behave in a certain manner, they will like me.”<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Estima-se que a popula\u00e7\u00e3o mundial tenha atingido 7,8 mil milh\u00f5es de pessoas. Agora imagine que tipo de cen\u00e1rios ocorreriam em cada <\/span>ser humano<\/span>‘s head if every single one of us was seeking approval from other people.<\/span><\/p>\n

Consegues imaginar quantos mon\u00f3logos imaginativos um <\/span>procura de valida\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span> pessoa tem numa <\/span>base di\u00e1ria<\/span>? Ou a grande variedade de coisas e todos os pormenores poss\u00edveis em que t\u00eam de se concentrar para procurar <\/span>valida\u00e7\u00e3o externa<\/span>?<\/span><\/p>\n

Procurar constantemente a aprova\u00e7\u00e3o dos outros \u00e9 um processo cansativo e, pior do que tudo, \u00e9 um processo que o impede de prosperar e de atingir o seu pleno potencial.<\/span><\/p>\n

Porque \u00e9 que procuramos a aprova\u00e7\u00e3o e a valida\u00e7\u00e3o de outras pessoas?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Por isso, uma das maiores quest\u00f5es \u00e9: <\/span>Porque \u00e9 que temos esta tend\u00eancia para procurar a valida\u00e7\u00e3o das outras pessoas, ou seja, para nos preocuparmos com o que elas pensam? <\/b><\/p>\n

Every single one of us has come into the world alone. From our mother’s womb, we entered the world’s womb with a mission to find our purpose and become the best version of ourself. <\/span><\/p>\n

Cada um de n\u00f3s \u00e9 um ser \u00fanico <\/span><\/i>ser humano<\/span><\/i> com as nossas pr\u00f3prias particularidades e defeitos.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Cada um de n\u00f3s tem as suas prefer\u00eancias, os seus passatempos, o seu trabalho e o seu pr\u00f3prio caminho, por isso, porque \u00e9 que precisamos que os outros aprovem as nossas ac\u00e7\u00f5es e validem o nosso pensamento?<\/span><\/p>\n

Duas das principais raz\u00f5es pelas quais alguns de n\u00f3s procuram a valida\u00e7\u00e3o dos outros s\u00e3o <\/span>baixa autoestima<\/span> e <\/span>autoestima<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Procuramos valida\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span> from other people when we’re fighting with <\/span>auto-aceita\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span> porque precisamos deles para nos sentirmos dignos e para <\/span>aumentar a nossa <\/span>autoconfian\u00e7a<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Substitu\u00edmos os nossos <\/span>auto-aprova\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span> com <\/span>others’ approval<\/span> e esta pr\u00e1tica influencia grandemente a forma como funcionamos na nossa <\/span>vida quotidiana<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ficamos com medo de desiludir os outros e transformamo-nos em <\/span>agradar \u00e0s pessoas<\/span> que perderam a sua <\/span>valor pr\u00f3prio<\/span> e <\/span>respeito por si pr\u00f3prio<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Por vezes, a nossa tend\u00eancia para procurar aprova\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 um comportamento aprendido ou inato e outras vezes \u00e9 algo que se desenvolve ao longo do tempo:<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Um comportamento aprendido<\/h2>\n

\"duas<\/p>\n

Every child sees their parents as role models. The truth is, children learn by observing their parents\u2019 behaviors and they tend to mimic their words and actions. <\/span><\/p>\n

Se um ou ambos os pais procuram constantemente o reconhecimento e a aprova\u00e7\u00e3o de outras pessoas, o filho pensar\u00e1 que isso \u00e9 algo que ele tamb\u00e9m deve fazer.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, a mother has bought a T-shirt or a dress and she doesn’t want to wear it until she talks to her friends in order to get their approval. <\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps this is a banal example but I’m sure there are plenty of females and males who do this on a regular basis.<\/span><\/p>\n

They need other people’s validation because they are not sure about their own style and tastes in things. And there lies the real danger for mental health! <\/span><\/p>\n

Por isso, essas pessoas nunca ou raramente desenvolvem as suas pr\u00f3prias opini\u00f5es sobre as diferentes coisas da vida (desde o trabalho e os passatempos at\u00e9 \u00e0s t-shirts), porque se preocupam sobretudo com o que a sociedade lhes dir\u00e1 sobre as suas palavras e ac\u00e7\u00f5es.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Um comportamento inato<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Por vezes, procurar a aprova\u00e7\u00e3o dos outros n\u00e3o tem nada a ver com um comportamento aprendido, mas est\u00e1 profundamente enraizado no nosso ADN. Se gera\u00e7\u00f5es de pessoas antes de si tiveram <\/span>procura de valida\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span> problemas, \u00e9 prov\u00e1vel que venha a desenvolver os mesmos problemas. <\/span><\/p>\n

De certa forma, herdamos h\u00e1bitos dos nossos antepassados e, por vezes, esses h\u00e1bitos s\u00e3o t\u00f3xicos, outras vezes s\u00e3o h\u00e1bitos de qualidade como <\/span>viver um estilo de vida hol\u00edstico<\/span><\/a> (comer alimentos saud\u00e1veis, ir ao gin\u00e1sio, etc.) e similares. <\/span><\/p>\n

Um comportamento inato \u00e9 mais dif\u00edcil de alterar ou influenciar, mas ainda assim \u00e9 poss\u00edvel diminuir significativamente os n\u00edveis de <\/span>procura de valida\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span> com pr\u00e1ticas que ser\u00e3o explicadas mais adiante. <\/span><\/p>\n

3. A necessidade de auto-valida\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n

\"duas<\/p>\n

Como \u00e9 que se sente quando diz ou faz algo que as outras pessoas tamb\u00e9m aprovam? Sente-se bem, certo?<\/span><\/p>\n

You get the feeling that you’re doing it right because other people agree with you and they support your opinions or actions.<\/span><\/p>\n

A positive response from other people often becomes addictive and that’s why we tend to seek more and more approval in the future, just to feel good about ourself and others. <\/span><\/p>\n

Imagina que fizeste algo fant\u00e1stico que foi aprovado por algu\u00e9m que gostas muito (como uma celebridade ou um influenciador). Ficarias nas nuvens, certo? <\/span><\/p>\n

While appreciating other people’s opinions is desirable, overly worrying about it and constantly seeking their approval and validation is toxic (regardless of whether they are a celebrity or a regular <\/span>ser humano<\/span>). <\/span><\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: <\/span>18 maneiras simples de dar prioridade a si pr\u00f3prio da forma que merece<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

How Is The Need For Approval Affecting Your \u2018Performance\u2019?<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1. Procrastina\u00e7\u00e3o<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

If you’re overly worried about other people’s approval, you might start procrastinating (avoid doing things just because you’re too anxious about the possible outcomes). <\/span><\/p>\n

You want them to like and support everything you do even though you’re aware of the fact that this is impossible.<\/span><\/p>\n

That’s why you choose to do nothing instead or postpone things because by hibernating, you’re avoiding potential disappointments, judgy behaviors and similar. <\/span><\/p>\n

Procrastination can be a really dangerous thing because you might decline new opportunities and all other things out of fear that you’ll fail at them and not succeed in meeting other people’s expectations. <\/span><\/p>\n

2. Fazer demasiado<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

O oposto da procrastina\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 fazer demasiadas coisas a toda a hora.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s when you’re determined to do everything right, to take every new opportunity and to literally be perfect in every aspect of your life, from your appearance to work. You might be a <\/span>grande sucesso<\/span> mas isto tem um pre\u00e7o.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, you end up in an endless cycle where you’re constantly <\/span>em busca da perfei\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span><\/a> s\u00f3 porque quer evitar ser criticado pelos outros ou desiludi-los de uma forma ou de outra. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ao ser demasiado duro consigo pr\u00f3prio, traz pensamentos ansiosos, preocupa\u00e7\u00f5es constantes e inquieta\u00e7\u00e3o para a sua rotina di\u00e1ria.<\/span><\/p>\n

You’re constantly focused on pleasing everyone around you, overworking yourself to the point of exhaustion and you never say no to other people regardless of whether their requests are demanding or things that you don’t really want to do. <\/span><\/p>\n

3. N\u00e3o estar em contacto consigo pr\u00f3prio<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Overly worrying about other people’s approval and validation blocks your own opinions. By only being focused on meeting other people’s standards and their needs, you’re neglecting your own wishes and desires. <\/span><\/p>\n

You start to lose touch with yourself because you don’t know what it is that you really want in life, what makes you fulfilled and happy so you basically live mechanically. <\/span><\/p>\n

You get stuck in a boring, regular job just because this is approved by society and because you haven’t developed your own thinking.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your personality is shaped by other people’s thoughts and beliefs instead of your own. You start feeling lost and as if you’re a stranger to yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n

N\u00e3o estar em contacto consigo pr\u00f3prio bloqueia o seu caminho para a verdadeira felicidade e para atingir o seu pleno potencial, o que \u00e9 um <\/span>coisa m\u00e1<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Como parar de procurar a valida\u00e7\u00e3o de outras pessoas<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1. Refor\u00e7ar o amor-pr\u00f3prio e a auto-aceita\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Se quiser deixar <\/span>abandonar a necessidade<\/span> para procurar a aprova\u00e7\u00e3o dos outros, \u00e9 preciso come\u00e7ar a concentrar-se em si pr\u00f3prio.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c9 necess\u00e1rio deixar de procurar o amor e a aceita\u00e7\u00e3o de <\/a><\/span>fontes externas<\/span> porque essa pr\u00e1tica \u00e9 t\u00f3xica (especialmente a longo prazo). <\/span><\/p>\n

Em vez disso, \u00e9 preciso concentrar-se na fonte interna que est\u00e1 dentro de si. Comece a trabalhar na constru\u00e7\u00e3o da sua <\/span>auto-aceita\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span> e a aumentar a sua <\/span>amor-pr\u00f3prio<\/span> because that’s the only way to getting in touch with your <\/span>verdadeiro eu<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u200b<\/span>Deixar ir<\/span> of the need of approval from other people means opening doors that were there in front of you this whole time but you just weren’t aware of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once you enter these doors, you will realize that you don’t need other people’s approval in order to feel worthy. <\/span><\/p>\n

Uma das melhores formas de entrar em contacto consigo pr\u00f3prio e de se aperceber do seu valor \u00e9 manter um di\u00e1rio com regularidade. <\/span><\/p>\n

Make a list of the things you like about yourself, write down your recent choices and achievements or some valuable lessons you’ve learned or just write about how you feel about certain things and situations. <\/span><\/p>\n

Basicamente, escreva sobre tudo o que lhe vier \u00e0 cabe\u00e7a porque, ao faz\u00ea-lo, come\u00e7ar\u00e1 a compreender-se melhor a si pr\u00f3prio, o que \u00e9 a chave para entrar em contacto com a sua <\/span>verdadeiro eu<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: <\/span>Isto \u00e9 o que significa realmente amarmo-nos a n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

2. Stop seeking other people’s approval for your choices<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

“I don’t want to watch this movie because I don’t want to be judged by my friends or family because they don’t approve of it.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I don’t want to wear these trousers in public because they might look weird to some people even though I like them a lot. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Even though I’m not interested in watching football, I’ll still do it just because I want to make my partner happy. I don’t want to go for a walk at this hour because people will think I’m crazy.”<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Read and re-read the above sentences if needed to realize the toxicity of those statements. Also, don’t get me wrong about the last one. <\/span><\/p>\n

There’s nothing wrong with making other people happy but constantly doing something you don’t enjoy for the sake of earning praise from others is not healthy. As always, compromising is the best bet.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tem de compreender que pode n\u00e3o partilhar o mesmo <\/span>pontos de vista<\/span> with other people and that’s more than okay. <\/span><\/p>\n

As a matter of fact, it’s necessary because diversity is what makes us different and unique. So, stop being a <\/span>fantoche<\/span> who dances to other people’s tunes by doing everything THEY want.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s time to ask yourself: <\/span>O que \u00e9 que VOC\u00ca quer?<\/b> <\/span><\/p>\n

Do you want to watch that movie, wear those \u2018weird\u2019 trousers, watch a movie instead of football or go for a walk at 3AM? If the answer is yes, then that is what you really want and you should pursue it! <\/span><\/p>\n

Turn off other people’s thoughts in your head and turn on your own. Once you <\/span>deixar de procurar aprova\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span> and start creating your own rules and making your own choices, you’ll realize the beauty of your own being.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Avaliar as suas tarefas e ac\u00e7\u00f5es<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Para evitar que procure a aprova\u00e7\u00e3o dos outros, \u00e9 necess\u00e1rio avaliar as suas tarefas e ac\u00e7\u00f5es. <\/span><\/p>\n

Whenever you’re about to do something, ask yourself whether you are doing it because you believe it’s the right thing to do or if you’re doing it for the sake of seeking other people’s approval. <\/span><\/p>\n

Make a list of the things that you suspect you’re doing only to seek validation and make sure to avoid doing those things in the future. The most important thing is to become aware of your own words and actions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once you target that you’re doing something just because you want to please others and get their approval, it will be easier for you to stop doing it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Na maioria das vezes, as pessoas nem sequer est\u00e3o conscientes do facto de que est\u00e3o a fazer algo apenas por causa dos outros, por isso, assim que tomarmos consci\u00eancia disso, metade do nosso trabalho estar\u00e1 feito. <\/span><\/p>\n

O que acontece quando deixamos de procurar a valida\u00e7\u00e3o de outras pessoas<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Numa palavra (ok, duas palavras): a felicidade acontece. Quando deixamos de procurar valida\u00e7\u00e3o e reconhecimento, come\u00e7amos a validar-nos e a valorizar-nos. <\/span><\/p>\n

You trust your gut, you start doing things that fulfill you and you feel FREE. You no longer avoid doing things that make you happy just because someone else doesn’t approve of them. <\/span><\/p>\n

Descobre quem realmente \u00e9 e o que realmente importa para si na vida e compromete-se com essas coisas.<\/span><\/p>\n

As suas paix\u00f5es, os seus sonhos e desejos atingem o seu auge e sente-se finalmente um participante ativo na sua vida em vez de um participante passivo.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sente-se confiante para alargar os seus horizontes, experimentar coisas novas, sair da sua zona de conforto, correr mais riscos e enfrentar os seus medos. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

A sua auto-descoberta e <\/span>amor-pr\u00f3prio<\/span> vai ajud\u00e1-lo a tornar-se a melhor vers\u00e3o de si mesmo, porque finalmente sabe o que realmente quer na sua vida, o que o entusiasma e o que o torna voc\u00ea mesmo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Come\u00e7amos a apreciar todas as nossas peculiaridades e defeitos e <\/span>abra\u00e7ar as suas imperfei\u00e7\u00f5es<\/span><\/a> because you know that’s what makes you truly special.<\/span><\/p>\n

You learn to respect other people’s opinions instead of worrying about them because you finally have your own.<\/span><\/p>\n

Quando se deixa de procurar a valida\u00e7\u00e3o de outras pessoas, abrem-se as portas a vastas oportunidades, desafios, entusiasmo e liberdade.<\/span><\/p>\n

Percebe finalmente que a \u00fanica coisa que o impedia de alcan\u00e7ar a verdadeira felicidade era voc\u00ea e n\u00e3o os outros.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: <\/span>7 coisas incr\u00edveis que acontecem quando paramos de nos importar com o que as outras pessoas pensam<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

\"Como<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Seeking validation from others is one of the biggest enemies of every human being because the need for the approval of others kills freedom and blocks your true self.  This is what is happening inside the mind of a person who is prone to validation seeking: “If I wear that one outfit, my date will…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":85446,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29636],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-85441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-help"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29636,"label":"self help"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/How-To-Stop-Seeking-Validation-From-Others-To-Start-Flourishing.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29636,"name":"self help","slug":"self-help","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29636,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","parent":22911,"count":316,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29636,"category_count":316,"category_description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","cat_name":"self help","category_nicename":"self-help","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85441","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=85441"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85441\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/85446"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=85441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=85441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=85441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}