{"id":85556,"date":"2020-07-09T10:56:31","date_gmt":"2020-07-09T10:56:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=85556"},"modified":"2021-10-29T13:02:38","modified_gmt":"2021-10-29T13:02:38","slug":"reconhecer-o-engano-e-a-mentira-por-omissao","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/reconhecer-o-engano-e-a-mentira-por-omissao\/","title":{"rendered":"Como reconhecer o engano e a mentira por omiss\u00e3o nos relacionamentos"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cThe slickest way in the world to lie is to tell the right amount of truth at the right time – and then shut up.\u201d\u2015Robert A. Heinlein<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes, lying by omission is the slickest, most efficient, and smoothest way to deceive and lie. Still, that doesn’t make it okay.<\/p>\n

A defini\u00e7\u00e3o de mentira por omiss\u00e3o \u00e9 mais ou menos a seguinte: omitir factos importantes e relevantes numa conversa, a fim de promover uma ideia errada.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Many wonder if it’s even really lying when you lie by omission. Let’s find out whether omission actually is lying and how it destroys relationships.<\/p>\n

A omiss\u00e3o \u00e9 uma mentira e porque \u00e9 que as pessoas praticam a mentira por omiss\u00e3o?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.\u201d\u2015Moli\u00e8re<\/em><\/p>\n

Ent\u00e3o, a omiss\u00e3o \u00e9 deitado<\/a>? \u00c9 claro que \u00e9. Pertence a 7 tipos de mentiras:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Omiss\u00e3o<\/strong> \u2013 a person leaves out information that is relevant to how the whole situation is perceived.<\/p>\n

Erro<\/strong> \u2013 a person truly believes they are telling the truth. They made a mistake and their words aren’t true even though they believe they are.<\/p>\n

Reestrutura\u00e7\u00e3o<\/strong> \u2013 a person alters the scene in a way that makes them less involved.<\/p>\n

\u200bDenial<\/strong> \u2013 a person refuses or doesn’t have the ability to accept the truth. They’re usually also lying to themselves.<\/p>\n

Minimiza\u00e7\u00e3o<\/strong> \u2013 a person reduces the effects of whatever happened.<\/p>\n

Exagero<\/strong> \u2013 a person builds up the story in a way that suits them to look their best or uses unnecessary hyperboles.<\/p>\n

Fabrico<\/strong> \u2013 a person invents a whole story and tells a complete lie (these lies are called lies of commission).<\/p>\n

Omission seems to be one of the most innocent ways of lying. Even a lie detector wouldn’t pick those kinds of lies up since they aren’t even false statements, they’re just incomplete truths.<\/p>\n

Still, it seems like lies of omission aren’t any easier to deal with when they’re used in romantic relationships. Why does it hurt so bad?<\/p>\n

We’ll get into the details, but the ultimate reason is that the person who’s being deceived or having secrets kept from them feels intentionally hurt by their loved one, who obviously has very little respect for them as they\u2019ve chosen to let them live in a false reality.<\/p>\n

Porque \u00e9 que as pessoas preferem ignorar algumas partes da verdade?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"vista<\/p>\n

1) Por causa do medo<\/strong>. They don’t want to be on the receiving end of anger or any kind of punishment they think may follow if they tell the complete truth.<\/p>\n

2) Sentem-se culpados<\/strong> for the thing they did that they aren’t willing to openly speak about and think hiding it is the best choice.<\/p>\n

3) T\u00eam vergonha<\/strong> of what they did and don’t want their loved ones to perceive them differently.<\/p>\n

Estas s\u00e3o algumas das frases mais comuns que uma pessoa que mentiu por omiss\u00e3o usar\u00e1 quando o seu segredo for descoberto:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI just couldn\u2019t bear to tell you!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIt didn’t seem like important information to share at the moment.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t actually lie, I just didn\u2019t say anything.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn’t want to hurt your feelings.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI was afraid of what you would say!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Embora possam fazer todo o sentido, mentir por omiss\u00e3o continua a ser mentir e d\u00f3i bastante.<\/p>\n

So, what is it about lying by omission that cuts so deep? Let’s find out.<\/p>\n

6 raz\u00f5es pelas quais a mentira por omiss\u00e3o numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 destrutiva<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

1. As omiss\u00f5es levam a encobrir mentiras que podem ser dif\u00edceis de seguir<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Quando uma pessoa opta por dizer meias verdades, a maior parte das vezes a sua hist\u00f3ria deixa algumas perguntas sem resposta.<\/p>\n

To the partner who’s having a secret kept from them the whole thing may seem illogical and they usually start asking additional questions just so they can have a clear understanding of what’s going on.<\/p>\n

The person who’s keeping the secret, in an attempt to keep their secret, tells mentiras<\/a> that weren’t a part of their original plan.<\/p>\n

Estes complicam ainda mais a situa\u00e7\u00e3o, criando um ambiente confuso e sombrio na rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

2. The person who’s holding a secret feels uncomfortable and guilty<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Mesmo que dizer a verdade possa n\u00e3o mudar a rela\u00e7\u00e3o tanto quanto o enganador acredita que mudaria, toda a experi\u00eancia de omiss\u00e3o muda.<\/p>\n

Unless they’re a psychopath, the partner who’s keeping a secret will start feeling guilty about the things they didn’t say.<\/p>\n

Uma pessoa que se sente culpada continua a arruinar a rela\u00e7\u00e3o de muitas formas diferentes, e a sua primeira mentira de omiss\u00e3o \u00e9 apenas um ponto de partida para o que vem a seguir.<\/p>\n

3. As mentiras de omiss\u00e3o e os segredos criam uma barreira \u00e0 liga\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n

\"imagem<\/p>\n

To be able to tell the truth even when you know it won’t make you look good, you have to feel like you’re in a safe environment.<\/p>\n

If a person who’s generally not a liar and deceiver chooses to omit something, it might mean that they’re actually having trust issues.<\/p>\n

Quando a mentira \u00e9 divulgada, bloqueia a verdadeira intimidade.<\/p>\n

O detentor do segredo sente todo o tipo de emo\u00e7\u00f5es perturbadoras e \u00e9 incapaz de se abrir em qualquer outro aspeto da rela\u00e7\u00e3o porque a mentira ou a verdade omitida o impede de o fazer.<\/p>\n

In these situations, closeness is avoided and there’s usually a decrease in conversation and physical intimacy which means that the sexual relationship between two people fades as well.<\/p>\n

It’s impossible to maintain a healthy relationship with clear communication and strong connection without being completely honest with each other.<\/p>\n

Lies of omission destroy intimacy and that’s probably their most destructive influence in relationships (or should I say rela\u00e7\u00f5es t\u00f3xicas<\/a>). <\/p>\n

4. O engano destr\u00f3i a autoestima de ambas as pessoas na rela\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

The person who chooses to lie may begin questioning themselves completely, especially if it’s the first time they did something like that.<\/p>\n

Feeling awful and guilty about doing something inconsiderate to their partner makes them feel like bad people and they have a hard time accepting what they’ve done but still can’t seem to find a way to tell the truth.<\/p>\n

Isto arru\u00edna lentamente a sua autoestima.<\/p>\n

Para quem recebe a mentira, a sua autoestima pode ser arruinada por dois aspectos diferentes da omiss\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

O primeiro aspeto da omiss\u00e3o \u00e9 quando a mentira ainda n\u00e3o foi descoberta.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, things don’t add up for them, and they feel distrusting, suspicious, and generally weird, which can make them think there’s something wrong with them.<\/p>\n

The other aspect of omission is after the secret is discovered, where the person obviously feels many different things that we’ll talk about in just a minute.<\/p>\n

O conjunto de emo\u00e7\u00f5es negativas faz com que a sua autoestima diminua.<\/p>\n

5. A pessoa a quem mentiram sente demasiadas emo\u00e7\u00f5es negativas para contar<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

After the person who was lied to discovers the truth they go through a major self-questioning process. There’s so much happening in their mind.<\/p>\n

Em primeiro lugar, sentem-se confusas e podem mesmo negar o que aconteceu.<\/p>\n

Then, they feel abandoned by the person they love and who they believed loved them. They suddenly feel like they can’t trust anything or anyone.<\/p>\n

Sentem-se menos perceptivos ou mesmo est\u00fapidos por n\u00e3o terem percebido que estavam a ser enganados antes. Come\u00e7am a sentir-se zangadas com o parceiro e tamb\u00e9m consigo pr\u00f3prias.<\/p>\n

Todas estas emo\u00e7\u00f5es s\u00e3o demasiado fortes para lidar com elas e muitas vezes desenvolvem ansiedade<\/a> sobre toda a situa\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 muito dif\u00edcil lidar com o facto de ser enganado por um ente querido.<\/p>\n

Mesmo que consigam perdoar e esquecer, a marca na sua psique permanece para sempre e leva-os a t\u00eam problemas de confian\u00e7a<\/a> e ser mais desconfiado e nervoso no futuro.<\/p>\n

6. A forma como um mentiroso lida com a culpa cria ainda mais danos do que a pr\u00f3pria mentira<\/h2>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

Gerir a culpa e a vergonha cria muitos problemas novos. O detentor do segredo, ao esconder um segredo, come\u00e7a a esconder cada vez mais aquilo que \u00e9 em cada dia que passa.<\/p>\n

In order to justify their actions (and deal with what they’ve done), they may withdraw, grow resentful of their partner, become incredibly critical or judgmental, highly irritable, or even aggressive.<\/p>\n

A mentira cria-lhes conflitos internos e utilizam muitas ferramentas psicol\u00f3gicas para lidar com eles.<\/p>\n

Na maior parte das vezes, tornam-se distantes e inacess\u00edveis ao parceiro, o que faz com que a rela\u00e7\u00e3o se desmorone por si s\u00f3, sem que a mentira seja descoberta.<\/p>\n

Everyone who’s afraid of telling the truth should think about this before they decide that lying is easier because it’s so much more complicated than it seems.<\/p>\n

If you’re thinking that your partner might be telling you half-truths and letting you believe something that isn’t (completely) true, read about these signs to find out if you\u2019re right.<\/strong><\/p>\n

7 sinais subtis de que o seu parceiro pode estar a ser enganado<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

1. They’re open about using little lies or white lies<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

They’re perfectly okay with using fibs all the time. They don’t even find it uncomfortable having to tell a white lie, it’s simply the way they function.<\/p>\n

Little lies are something they believe to be necessary and they don’t even consider telling the truth whenever the truth might be even slightly more complicated to deal with than a lie.<\/p>\n

They’re obviously capable of lying with a straight face and little lies are the most natural part of their everyday life.<\/p>\n

2. O seu comportamento em rela\u00e7\u00f5es passadas \u00e9 menos do que admir\u00e1vel<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Sabe que eles costumavam mentir ou enganar os seus ex-parceiros. Quem foi capaz de o fazer uma vez \u00e9 quase de certeza capaz de o fazer novamente.<\/p>\n

It’s not necessarily true that they will do it, but you definitely have to watch out a bit more than you would with a partner who has always been open and honest in their relationships.<\/p>\n

3. Viviam numa fam\u00edlia onde n\u00e3o havia problema ou era necess\u00e1rio ter segredos<\/h2>\n

\"um<\/p>\n

H\u00e1 aqui dois casos diferentes:<\/p>\n

1) O seu parceiro vem de uma fam\u00edlia em que um dos pais o encoraja a mentir ao outro ou a outras pessoas em geral.<\/strong><\/p>\n

They think it’s okay to tell lies that seem irrelevant to them because that’s the way they were brought up.<\/p>\n

A fam\u00edlia deles funciona assim desde que se lembram e nunca foram ensinados a ser sempre sinceros.<\/p>\n

Their parent(s) might have told them that it’s okay to lie in order not to hurt someone or in order to avoid confrontation.<\/p>\n

2) O seu parceiro prov\u00e9m de uma fam\u00edlia em que teve de desenvolver um mecanismo de sobreviv\u00eancia para lidar com pais demasiado controladores.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Their parents wouldn’t accept that they were growing up and wanted to do certain things so they used to lie to avoid punishment or anger.<\/p>\n

Also, it’s possible that their parents were overly aggressive and their punishments were too harsh and that’s how they taught themselves to lie in order to avoid pain.<\/p>\n

Whenever they feel like their partner is ”trying to control” their life in any kind of way or whenever they fear their partner might disapprove of their choice, they simply omit the truth.<\/p>\n

In both cases, lying has become so natural to them that you can’t even notice their body language change when they tell a lie.<\/p>\n

A mentira foi a sua melhor amiga enquanto cresciam, e ainda \u00e9, por isso usam-na para evitar situa\u00e7\u00f5es desconfort\u00e1veis.<\/p>\n

4. Usam mentiras de omiss\u00e3o a toda a hora com amigos, fam\u00edlia ou no trabalho<\/h2>\n

\"tr\u00eas<\/p>\n

You know that they use social lies when they communicate with their friends or family and you’re aware of how often they do it without even blinking.<\/p>\n

If it’s perfectly okay for them to omit the truth to their friends and family, or tell any kind of lies, why do you think they won\u2019t do it to you?<\/p>\n

Also, if your partner’s job requires them to become used to paltering or deceiving this means two things:<\/p>\n

1) \u00e9 \u00f3bvio que s\u00e3o capazes de fazer tal coisa sem se preocuparem demasiado com o efeito que isso tem,<\/p>\n

2) sooner or later, this behavior will become their habit and they will transfer it to their personal relationships if they haven’t already.<\/p>\n

The truth is, people who are able to deceive others usually don’t choose who it is. They use deception as a tool whenever they think it’s necessary and that’s all there is to it.<\/p>\n

5. T\u00eam geralmente dificuldade em aceitar a responsabilidade pelos seus actos<\/h2>\n

\"casal<\/p>\n

People who don’t shy away from deception and lies usually have a problem with accepting responsibility in general.<\/p>\n

Whatever happens, even when they’re the only ones causing an issue, it’s somehow never their fault.<\/p>\n

There’s always a reason for their inappropriate behavior and they’re amazing when it comes to coming up with excuses.<\/p>\n

Whenever you ask, there’ll be many complicated circumstances that led them to do something that caused you harm, but it’s never ever them who should be blamed.<\/p>\n

6. Normalmente evitam o confronto<\/h2>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

As pessoas que evitam o confronto s\u00e3o pessoas mais propensas a mentir por omiss\u00e3o. Faz todo o sentido.<\/p>\n

They avoid telling the truth or the complete truth for the sake of avoiding confrontation. It’s as simple as that.<\/p>\n

Situa\u00e7\u00f5es stressantes que exijam argumentar, provar pontos de vista e discutir apaixonadamente est\u00e3o demasiado fora da sua zona de conforto.<\/p>\n

Sempre que pensam que um conflito de qualquer tipo pode ser causado por algo que fizeram ou disseram, simplesmente n\u00e3o admitem que o fizeram ou disseram.<\/p>\n

N\u00e3o dizer a verdade \u00e9 mais f\u00e1cil para eles do que envolverem-se num conflito.<\/p>\n

7. They don’t keep their promises<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Que nome daria a uma promessa e n\u00e3o a cumpre? Enganador? Mentiroso?<\/p>\n

Whatever you call it, it speaks of a person’s integrity, honestidade<\/a>e tamb\u00e9m sobre o significado que a sua palavra tem para eles.<\/p>\n

If a person never commits to making their promises reality, they obviously don’t care that much about the truth of their own words.<\/p>\n

If ignoring their promises is a regular thing for your partner, that probably means they’re willing to deceive you in other ways as well.<\/p>\n

Uma mentira, por mais inocente que pare\u00e7a, pode realmente custar tudo a uma pessoa. Contar uma \u00fanica mentira p\u00f5e uma sombra sobre todas as verdades que uma pessoa disse. <\/strong><\/p>\n

People are hardly ever upset that they’ve been told one insignificant lie, they’re upset they can no longer trust the person who said it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Always choose honesty and keep it real, it’s the only way of living and loving that makes sense.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Como<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cThe slickest way in the world to lie is to tell the right amount of truth at the right time – and then shut up.\u201d\u2015Robert A. Heinlein Yes, lying by omission is the slickest, most efficient, and smoothest way to deceive and lie. Still, that doesn’t make it okay. The definition of lying by omission…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29625],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-85556","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-toxic-relationship"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29625,"label":"toxic relationship"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29625,"name":"toxic relationship","slug":"toxic-relationship","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29625,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Are you in a toxic relationship without even knowing it? What should you do if you find yourself in one? Here's all you need to know!","parent":29620,"count":228,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29625,"category_count":228,"category_description":"Are you in a toxic relationship without even knowing it? What should you do if you find yourself in one? Here's all you need to know!","cat_name":"toxic relationship","category_nicename":"toxic-relationship","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85556","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=85556"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85556\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=85556"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=85556"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=85556"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}