{"id":87636,"date":"2020-08-14T07:49:19","date_gmt":"2020-08-14T07:49:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=87636"},"modified":"2021-08-11T12:55:54","modified_gmt":"2021-08-11T12:55:54","slug":"rapariga-que-sobreviveu-ao-gaslighting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/rapariga-que-sobreviveu-ao-gaslighting\/","title":{"rendered":"Carta de uma rapariga que sobreviveu \u00e0 ilumina\u00e7\u00e3o a g\u00e1s"},"content":{"rendered":"

J\u00e1 alguma vez esteve numa situa\u00e7\u00e3o em que n\u00e3o acredita em si pr\u00f3prio? Numa situa\u00e7\u00e3o em que questiona os seus pr\u00f3prios pensamentos?<\/p>\n

Have you ever caught yourself doubting your own sanity? Caught yourself wondering whether you\u2019re seeing things right or if you\u2019re imagining things?<\/p>\n

I really hope you haven\u2019t. Because I have and I wouldn\u2019t wish it on my worst enemy.<\/p>\n

Reading this, you must think that I\u2019ve been fighting some problemas mentais<\/a>. After all, that\u2019s what it sounds like at first, doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

Well, the truth is that I eventually started having trouble with my mental health. However, that wasn\u2019t my initial problem.<\/p>\n

The truth is that I was gaslighted for years. Of course, I wasn\u2019t aware of this at first, otherwise I would have probably escaped sooner.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You see, my gaslighter didn\u2019t start his emotional abuse at maximum intensity right from the beginning. In fact, these kinds of toxic men have a way of getting under your skin.<\/p>\n

\"uma<\/p>\n

Quando conheci o meu agressor, ele parecia demasiado bom para ser verdade. E eu, tonta, acreditei em todas as suas falsas pretens\u00f5es.<\/p>\n

Confiei em todos os seus promessas v\u00e3s<\/a> \u2013 probably because I wanted them to be true. Besides, opening up to him was a piece of cake.<\/p>\n

He was the nicest guy I\u2019d ever met. He appeared to be the realization of all of my wildest dreams and I was certain he was the man I would spend the rest of my life with.<\/p>\n

No entanto, tudo isso era a m\u00e1scara de um bom rapaz. N\u00e3o era mais do que uma prequela de anos de manipula\u00e7\u00e3o e de jogos com a minha mente.<\/strong><\/p>\n

N\u00e3o foi mais do que uma prequela do meu inferno na terra.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Come\u00e7ou com pequenas coisas. Every time we fought, he would do his best to convince me that I\u2019d misinterpreted something or that I was overreacting.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dizia sempre que eu era demasiado sens\u00edvel e acusava-me de o ter compreendido mal.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Com o passar do tempo, come\u00e7ou a distorcer completamente os acontecimentos. He didn\u2019t actually lie but instead used half-truths and twisted them to suit him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

At that time, I didn\u2019t even know what gaslighting was. I thought that the two of us just had different views of the truth.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t think of him as a bad person for doing all of this either. I just figured that every coin has two sides and that he was simply trying to tell his part of the story.<\/p>\n

\"uma<\/p>\n

No entanto, antes que me apercebesse, I\u2019d been brainwashed. Soon enough, I trusted him more than I trusted my own eyes and ears.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Segundo este homem, eu \u00e9 que era o louco. Era um lun\u00e1tico que estava sempre a exagerar e a inventar coisas.<\/p>\n

Segundo ele, eu n\u00e3o servia para nada, enquanto ele era o mais inteligente e o que sabia sempre a verdade.<\/p>\n

Assim, passado algum tempo, Comecei a questionar a minha pr\u00f3pria realidade. Ele usou diferentes t\u00e1cticas para me confundir e para me sobrecarregar com auto-d\u00favida<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A pior parte era quando ele continuava a negar as coisas que eu sabia que tinham acontecido. Afinal de contas, eu era um dos protagonistas desses acontecimentos.<\/p>\n

However, despite that, he would look me straight in the eyes and act like I was dreaming everything. Every time I mentioned some of his toxic actions, he convinced me that I\u2019d got it all wrong.<\/p>\n

Na verdade, foi o que mais me magoou. Imagine algu\u00e9m que lhe parte o cora\u00e7\u00e3o e, mais tarde, se recusa a reconhecer a sua dor e n\u00e3o assume qualquer responsabilidade pelos seus actos.<\/strong><\/p>\n

To someone who hasn\u2019t had this experience, all of this probably sounds impossible. You must be thinking: \u201cHow can someone change your memory and distort your picture of reality?\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, let me tell you that it is, in fact, more than possible. It doesn\u2019t happen overnight but when your loved one puts all of his efforts into manipulating you, eventually he succeeds in doing so.<\/p>\n

Quando a pessoa de quem gostamos tem como prioridade destruir sistematicamente a nossa sa\u00fade mental e fazer-nos uma lavagem cerebral constante, acabamos por desistir da luta e ca\u00edmos na sua armadilha.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Foi exatamente o que eu fiz: Comecei a acreditar nele, pois era a \u00fanica forma de me proteger.<\/strong> Sim, podia t\u00ea-lo deixado em teoria.<\/p>\n

However, in practice, that was utterly impossible. This man made me feel so powerless and made me so emotionally dependent on him that I didn\u2019t see a way out.<\/p>\n

De facto, a aceita\u00e7\u00e3o tornou-se o meu mecanismo de defesa. Tornou-se mais f\u00e1cil para mim acreditar que ele tinha sempre raz\u00e3o do que lutar com ele e comigo pr\u00f3pria.<\/p>\n

You must be wondering how I got away from all of this. Clearly I did save myself from him, otherwise I wouldn\u2019t be writing all of this and I wouldn\u2019t be aware that I had been a victim of gaslighting.<\/p>\n

Bem, demorei muito mais tempo a salvar-me do que gosto de admitir. Felizmente, tinha os meus entes queridos ao meu lado.<\/p>\n

I had people who gave me confirmation. Validation that I wasn\u2019t crazy and that showed me that my toxic ex\u2019s denials can\u2019t magically erase the past.<\/p>\n

After a long struggle, I managed to get out of it alive. I\u2019m changed forever but most importantly, I\u2019m alive.<\/strong><\/p>\n

No, I\u2019m not talking about the struggles I had with this man. I\u2019m talking about my inner struggles.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Rezo para que nunca se encontre numa situa\u00e7\u00e3o em que tenha de lutar contra si pr\u00f3prio para come\u00e7ar a acreditar em si pr\u00f3prio.<\/strong> Parece uma loucura, eu sei.<\/p>\n

No entanto, era exatamente isso que se passava na minha cabe\u00e7a. Eu tinha alguns problemas profundos de confian\u00e7a<\/a> comigo mesma que eu precisava de derrotar antes de ter for\u00e7as para deixar a minha rela\u00e7\u00e3o t\u00f3xica.<\/strong><\/p>\n

No fim de contas, sobrevivi contra todas as probabilidades. No entanto, nada nem ningu\u00e9m me pode devolver os anos perdidos.<\/p>\n

Nada nem ningu\u00e9m me pode compensar por todas as minhas l\u00e1grimas e por todas as noites que passei a revolver o passado e a tentar encontrar todas as respostas de que precisava.<\/p>\n

So, if you\u2019re reading this and any of the things mentioned above sound familiar, I have just one thing to tell you: always trust yourself.<\/p>\n

Follow your gut and your instincts. Don\u2019t listen to anyone except that tiny voice in the back of your head, telling you to run for your life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Rapariga<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever been in a position where you don\u2019t believe yourself? In a situation where you question your own thoughts? Have you ever caught yourself doubting your own sanity? Caught yourself wondering whether you\u2019re seeing things right or if you\u2019re imagining things? I really hope you haven\u2019t. Because I have and I wouldn\u2019t wish…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29632],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-87636","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-abuse-and-trauma"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29632,"label":"abuse & trauma"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29632,"name":"abuse & trauma","slug":"abuse-and-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29632,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","parent":22911,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29632,"category_count":138,"category_description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","cat_name":"abuse & trauma","category_nicename":"abuse-and-trauma","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87636","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=87636"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87636\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=87636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=87636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=87636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}