{"id":8836,"date":"2017-11-20T14:46:16","date_gmt":"2017-11-20T14:46:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=8836"},"modified":"2021-08-31T08:39:21","modified_gmt":"2021-08-31T08:39:21","slug":"dois-nao-esta-a-fazer-feliz-e-permitido-sair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/dois-nao-esta-a-fazer-feliz-e-permitido-sair\/","title":{"rendered":"Se o que voc\u00eas t\u00eam n\u00e3o vos faz felizes, podem ir-se embora"},"content":{"rendered":"

You don\u2019t have to stay in uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o que o faz infeliz<\/a>. Whether that be a romantic relationship or a friendship\u2014if it is making you unhappy or if you spend more time miserable than happy, then leave.<\/p>\n

I was in a relationship earlier this year that was making me unhappy. It wasn\u2019t the person I was with who was making me unhappy. In fact he did nothing wrong at all\u2014he was brilliant, so kind and loving but just not the right person for me. We wanted different things, we were completely different people, and I just didn\u2019t feel that \u2018spark\u2019. I was unhappy for a good few weeks, and I kept telling myself it was my job or the fact that I was living away from my family. I tried to think of every excuse as to why I was unhappy because I just didn\u2019t want to admit that it was the relationship. I had been single for so long and I had been messed around and treated like shit by so many guys. I felt like I would be stupid to let him go, just because he treated me how I actually should be treated!<\/p>\n

It took a few weeks but eventually, I realised I had run out of excuses and it was the relationship making me unhappy. I learnt that I had to step away. It wasn\u2019t his fault, but it also wasn\u2019t mine. That famous saying we get told to tell people when we are breaking up with them, \u2018It\u2019s not you, it\u2019s me\u2019<\/strong> is often a load of shit. We think to tell them this to save their feelings, but what about our own feelings? Why should we pretend that it\u2019s our fault when it isn\u2019t? If the feelings aren\u2019t there, that isn\u2019t anyone\u2019s fault\u2014it\u2019s just unlucky.<\/p>\n

\"Se<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t ever feel that you need to stay in a mediocre relationship to try and save someone\u2019s feelings, and don\u2019t ever feel like you have to stay with someone who doesn\u2019t make you happy because you feel like you will never find better\u2014because you will. Some of us are unlucky enough to get treated like shit over and over again, so we cling to any bit of happiness that we can, and we think that getting treated the way we should be is out of the ordinary when it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not out of the ordinary and extra special to get a text back. It\u2019s not gold star worthy for a man to tell you he is taking you on a date and actually plan something! It is not unbelievably special for him to buy you flowers \u2018just because\u2019 and it\u2019s not extra special for a man to make you feel like a million dollars. Estes s\u00e3o simples coisas que ele deve fazer porque te ama!<\/a><\/strong> I\u2019m not saying you shouldn\u2019t be grateful for these things, because of course you could and it is so nice that they are thinking of you, but we should stop thinking a man is superhuman if he does these things because he\u2019s not superhuman \u2013 he\u2019s just a decent boyfriend. This doesn\u2019t mean that he is the only man in the world who will treat you this way. Just because a man does these things doesn\u2019t mean he is Mr Right. Men can do everything \u2018right\u2019 and still not be the right person for you and a culpa n\u00e3o \u00e9 vossa.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Deixe de se sentir culpado por n\u00e3o amar algu\u00e9m tanto quanto essa pessoa o ama a si. Deixar de perder tempo numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o que n\u00e3o o est\u00e1 a fazer t\u00e3o feliz como deveria<\/strong>, because in the end, you\u2019re not only hurting him by dragging it on\u2014you\u2019re hurting yourself. It is so hard to find a balance between being a nice person and not being a pushover. I know: I\u2019m still working on this myself, but I also know I will not waste any more time on a mediocre relationship because I am scared of hurting the other person\u2019s feelings\u2014because what about my feelings? If you spend more time questioning your happiness with a person than actually being happy, then maybe you shouldn\u2019t be with them. Think of it this way: if you know deep down it\u2019s not right, should you really drag it on, knowing it\u2019s going to end eventually anyway? If you can\u2019t imagine a future with the person you\u2019re with, if you don\u2019t look at them and feel like they\u2019re the person you want to grow old with, is that the person you should be with? As Phoebe Buffay says: \u201cIs he your lobster?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

by\u00a0Samantha Russell<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You don\u2019t have to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Whether that be a romantic relationship or a friendship\u2014if it is making you unhappy or if you spend more time miserable than happy, then leave. I was in a relationship earlier this year that was making me unhappy. It wasn\u2019t the person I…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":8837,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29622],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8836","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29622,"label":"relationship advice"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/michael-afonso-443195-2.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29622,"name":"relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29622,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Making all aspects of your relationship work is one of the biggest challenges. Here, you can find advice for most of the issues you might encounter. ","parent":29620,"count":544,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29622,"category_count":544,"category_description":"Making all aspects of your relationship work is one of the biggest challenges. Here, you can find advice for most of the issues you might encounter. ","cat_name":"relationship advice","category_nicename":"relationship-advice","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8836","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8836"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8836\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8837"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8836"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8836"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8836"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}