{"id":8949,"date":"2017-11-23T09:30:35","date_gmt":"2017-11-23T09:30:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=8949"},"modified":"2021-08-31T08:38:23","modified_gmt":"2021-08-31T08:38:23","slug":"sobreviver-a-um-mau-momento-de-prosperidade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/sobreviver-a-um-mau-momento-de-prosperidade\/","title":{"rendered":"Sobreviver e prosperar depois de uma rutura grave"},"content":{"rendered":"

Quando estamos numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o com algu\u00e9m que amamos, por vezes perdemo-nos<\/a>. What \u201cI\u201d need suddenly gets taken over by what \u201cwe\u201d need . . . well, let\u2019s be honest, by what \u201che\u201d needs. This can be good in a healthy relationship . . . putting the other person\u2019s needs before our own. But in a bad relationship, this can become unhealthy.<\/p>\n

What happens, then, if your lover decides to leave you? You may become desperate. Why, why, WHY would he want to leave you when your whole world revolves around him? You might try anything to get him to stay. You may think, \u201cIf he only knew how much I love him, he wouldn\u2019t leave.\u201d Or, you may begin begging him to stay, making promises to give him even more than you already do. Or you may get angry, telling him you don\u2019t love him and never have.<\/p>\n

Algum destes cen\u00e1rios parece-lhe familiar?<\/p>\n

These are natural reactions, but do they help? Unfortunately, no. The harder we try to keep our lover from leaving us, the more anxious he is to leave. Our only choice is to let him go. I know, this is not what you were hoping to hear. Sadly, I don\u2019t have a magic wand to wave that will make it all better. (I don\u2019t have a golden pumpkin either.)<\/p>\n

What now? As my therapist used to say, \u201cTake a bathtub moment.\u201d Crawl into a warm bath, and cry your eyes out. You will need more than one of these. Rinse and repeat.<\/p>\n

Your first task is to grieve. Yuck. I know. No one wants to grieve. However, if you don\u2019t, your grief will come back to haunt you later. \u201cWe don\u2019t bury our feelings dead, we bury them alive.\u201d We think they are buried and gone, but they will rear their ugly little heads later. Perhaps, at your best friend\u2019s wedding you will begin sobbing uncontrollably. Not a good look for a bridesmaid. Perhaps when you are giving a presentation at work to your boss, her boss and her boss, you break down. Not a way to move up the ladder. Confia em mim.<\/a><\/p>\n

What does purposeful grieving look like? This will look different for each person. Some will crawl into bed, and stay there for three days. Others will want to journal their feelings. Still others might take long walks, or sob on their best friend\u2019s shoulder. Whatever works for you, do it. If you feel yourself falling into a serious depression (feeling depressed every moment for more than two weeks), seek some counseling\u2014you might need an anti-depressant for a while. Though it may seem counter-intuitive, allowing yourself to feel the pain will make it go away faster in the long run.<\/p>\n

Grieving will take longer than you want it to. But, doing nothing but grieving is not a good way to move on. Neither is hooking up with your hot next-door neighbor. Finding a new man right away might feel good, but it is not good. It will only distract you from your pain for a time; remember . . . feelings are buried alive. Your buried grief at the loss of your first man won\u2019t endear you to a second.<\/p>\n

\"Sobreviver<\/p>\n

So, besides grieving, which let\u2019s admit it will suck, what else can you do? Try some self-care. Begin doing things you like to do that maybe you stopped doing while you were with your lover. Do you like eating vegetarian, but he loved steak? Do you like to watch sappy romances, while he only wanted to watch action films? Was he a night owl, and you are an early bird? Try to remember the things you loved to do before you met him, and begin doing them. Reconnect with (girl) friends you might have dropped when he came along.<\/p>\n

Para al\u00e9m deste autocuidado emocional, fa\u00e7a alguns cuidados f\u00edsicos<\/a>. O exerc\u00edcio f\u00edsico pode aliviar a depress\u00e3o. Talvez nunca tenha sido um corredor de maratona, mas pode dar uma volta ao quarteir\u00e3o. Talvez em tempos tenha gostado de fazer ioga no gin\u00e1sio, mas o seu amante sempre quis que levantasse pesos com ele. Sair \u00e0 rua ou estar perto de outras pessoas que pensam da mesma maneira e fazer algum exerc\u00edcio f\u00edsico vai realmente levantar o seu esp\u00edrito.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t pig out on potato chips or chocolate or alcohol. This won\u2019t elevate your mood in the long run. Stepping on the scale to see you\u2019ve gained 10 pounds, or waking up with a raging hangover won\u2019t help. Be kind to your body . . . it has been through a lot, too! Eat healthy food, exercise, and make sure you get a yearly check-up with a doctor, or see the doctor if you get sick.<\/p>\n

Uma outra coisa que pode ajudar muito, surpreendentemente, \u00e9 fazer voluntariado para ajudar os outros. Sair de si pr\u00f3prio pode fazer maravilhas por si. Ajudar algu\u00e9m que tem uma vida mais dif\u00edcil do que a sua pode ajud\u00e1-lo a p\u00f4r os seus problemas em perspetiva. Por quem \u00e9 que tem um cora\u00e7\u00e3o? Os sem-abrigo? Seja volunt\u00e1rio numa miss\u00e3o de salvamento local. Os idosos? Sabia que muitos residentes de lares de idosos nunca recebem visitas? As crian\u00e7as? Tente fazer voluntariado na sua escola p\u00fablica local, na aula de catequese da igreja ou num programa comunit\u00e1rio p\u00f3s-escolar.<\/p>\n

Quais s\u00e3o as outras vantagens do voluntariado? Poder\u00e1 conhecer novos amigos<\/a> que s\u00e3o apaixonados pela mesma causa. O voluntariado pode tamb\u00e9m dar origem a empregos remunerados, quer porque os que l\u00e1 trabalham v\u00eaem a sua dedica\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e0 sua popula\u00e7\u00e3o, quer porque pode conhecer e impressionar pessoas que lhe oferecer\u00e3o um emprego noutro local.<\/p>\n

Depois de ter feito todo este trabalho para recuperar a sua vida, o seu ex-amante pode vir a espreitar de novo. O facto de ser forte, saber o que quer e cuidar de si pode parecer-lhe muito atraente. Pergunte a si pr\u00f3pria ... quer mesmo que ele volte, ou est\u00e1 melhor sem ele?<\/p>\n

A decis\u00e3o \u00e9 vossa.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

por\u00a0Caroline Abbott<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When we are in a relationship with someone we love, we sometimes lose ourselves. What \u201cI\u201d need suddenly gets taken over by what \u201cwe\u201d need . . . well, let\u2019s be honest, by what \u201che\u201d needs. This can be good in a healthy relationship . . . putting the other person\u2019s needs before our own….<\/p>","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":8953,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29626],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8949","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-affair"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29626,"label":"affair"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/f-519-1.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"April Callaghan","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/april\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29626,"name":"affair","slug":"affair","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29626,"taxonomy":"category","description":"If you want to learn more about affairs, here you'll learn about different types of infidelity, how affairs happen, how to recognize a cheater, and more.","parent":29620,"count":132,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29626,"category_count":132,"category_description":"If you want to learn more about affairs, here you'll learn about different types of infidelity, how affairs happen, how to recognize a cheater, and more.","cat_name":"affair","category_nicename":"affair","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8949","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8949"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8949\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8949"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8949"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8949"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}