{"id":9004,"date":"2020-08-23T14:31:19","date_gmt":"2020-08-23T14:31:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=9004"},"modified":"2021-08-11T10:19:52","modified_gmt":"2021-08-11T10:19:52","slug":"amor-verdadeiro-trabalho-arduo-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/amor-verdadeiro-trabalho-arduo-2\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c9 por isso que o \"amor verdadeiro\" \u00e9 um trabalho \u00e1rduo"},"content":{"rendered":"

My friend once told me that relationships should be easygoing and that, with love, you wouldn’t need to work hard to transform it into something awesome.<\/p>\n

I disagree with this on so many levels that I don’t even know if I can count them.<\/p>\n

Esta \u00e9 a raz\u00e3o pela qual os casais fazem terapia de casal<\/a>Por isso, tentam fazer com que tudo funcione, mas nem mesmo um terapeuta pode dar conselhos que funcionem instantaneamente.<\/p>\n

As rela\u00e7\u00f5es tendem a ser muito dif\u00edceis e os terapeutas querem que se empenhem e se dediquem a um determinado objetivo que estabeleceram em conjunto.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 preciso trabalhar nisso.<\/p>\n

That work includes committed listening, putting someone else’s needs in front of yours, letting go of control, practicing vulnerability, being honest, being open to change and even in the face of fear, being there for each other.<\/p>\n

Maybe you Googled \u2018Do good relationships take hard work?\u2019 and all the books and blog posts you could find were about how you only need to work on it at the beginning and that it gets easier with time.<\/p>\n

It’s all people want to hear. Instant solutions are the death of us!<\/p>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

You need to put work and effort into your relationship even years and years after you get married because you want them (and yourself) to be happy, don’t you?<\/p>\n

It’s not just the beginning where it takes hard work.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 claro que conhecer algu\u00e9m exige muito esfor\u00e7o, porque \u00e9 preciso descobrir o que o seu parceiro quer e precisa numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 preciso saber as perguntas certas a fazer. Mas \u00e9 preciso continuar a faz\u00ea-lo, por vezes mesmo durante d\u00e9cadas.<\/p>\n

Don’t get me wrong, nothing can work out if there is only one worker and one slacker. You can’t really \u2018procrastinate\u2019 when it comes to relationships.<\/p>\n

E se o seu parceiro se esfor\u00e7ou imenso e dedicou tantas l\u00e1grimas e tanto suor a tudo e voc\u00ea s\u00f3 o toma como garantido?<\/p>\n

Well, that sure isn’t OK and As rela\u00e7\u00f5es deste tipo est\u00e3o condenadas ao fracasso.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Por experi\u00eancia pr\u00f3pria, aprendi que as rela\u00e7\u00f5es duradouras exigem trabalho \u00e1rduo<\/a> invested into every aspect of them, so I’m going to list down the problems which might occur and how you can solve them (in the long-term):<\/p>\n

Falta de comunica\u00e7\u00e3o correcta<\/h2>\n

\"casal<\/p>\n

We sure do forget that sometimes words are like knives and we forget that \u2018feedback\u2019 needs to be pointed towards the actions of someone and not their personality.<\/p>\n

Por isso, temos tend\u00eancia a insultar o nosso parceiro e a dizer-lhe coisas muito m\u00e1s, em vez de lhe dizermos como as suas ac\u00e7\u00f5es nos fizeram sentir.<\/p>\n

So instead of, \u201cYou’re such a stupid asshole for doing\u2026\u201d you might want to rephrase everything into, \u201cI’m was hurt by the fact that you\u2026\u201d which makes it all much easier and less painful.<\/p>\n

Stress<\/h2>\n

\"casal<\/p>\n

If we have a lot of work to do we tend to completely forget about our partner, especially when all the deadlines we had are overdue, but you still need and should want to spend time with them, even though you know you can’t.<\/p>\n

E esse stress acumula-se ainda mais. A solu\u00e7\u00e3o para isso? Uma melhor gest\u00e3o do tempo.<\/p>\n

Existem muitas ferramentas que o podem ajudar com isso e pode programar tempo para o seu parceiro ao longo do dia.<\/p>\n

And in the time you’re dedicating to your relationship, your only focus will be on your partner. Nothing else. So both of you will be satisfied.<\/p>\n

T\u00e9dio<\/h2>\n

\"casal<\/p>\n

Ver uma pessoa durante anos a fio pode fazer com que se sinta muito aborrecido, especialmente se n\u00e3o acontecer nada de novo e se ambos falarem dos mesmos assuntos vezes sem conta.<\/p>\n

Como \u00e9 que se cura o t\u00e9dio?<\/a> Aventurem-se juntos! Fa\u00e7am algo em que a vossa adrenalina seja maior do que nunca.<\/p>\n

Algo novo que nenhum de v\u00f3s tenha experimentado antes.<\/p>\n

I can guarantee you that after some amazing trips and challenges you’ll feel refreshed and your relationship will bloom.<\/p>\n

Consist\u00eancia<\/h2>\n

\"casal<\/p>\n

I’ve struggled with this one a lot lately, because at some point nothing is fun anymore and you just want to damn everything and let it slip away.<\/p>\n

But I know that it’s worth fighting for and that you need to conquer yourself in order to make it all work.<\/p>\n

Consistency can be hard, but it’ll pay out in the end!<\/p>\n

Amor<\/h2>\n

\"belo<\/p>\n

Yes. Love. If you don’t love your partner, what’s the point of it all?<\/p>\n

Talvez tenha come\u00e7ado a rela\u00e7\u00e3o porque pensou que a pessoa poderia curar a rutura causada pela sua \u00faltima rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

But how do you know (or feel) that you love them? Well, that\u2019s easy: You can’t imagine a life without them.<\/p>\n

If you can imagine a life without your partner, then let them go. It’s not worth your time and effort.<\/p>\n

If you really love someone, nothing will be too hard for you to do. You will find little romantic gestures that’ll help both of you grow and you\u2019ll be better lovers for sure.<\/p>\n

Basta serem pacientes e compreensivos um com o outro e nada poder\u00e1 correr mal.<\/p>\n

\"\u00c9<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My friend once told me that relationships should be easygoing and that, with love, you wouldn’t need to work hard to transform it into something awesome. I disagree with this on so many levels that I don’t even know if I can count them. This is the reason why married couples go to couples therapy,…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":53,"featured_media":111205,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29614],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-talks"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29614,"label":"love talks"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/This-Is-Why-\u2018True-Love-Is-Hard-Work-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Ariel Quinn","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/ariel\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29614,"name":"love talks","slug":"love-talks","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29614,"taxonomy":"category","description":"What is love? How does it affect us? How to know someone loves you or show someone you love them? What types of love are there? Learn all that and much more.","parent":38,"count":426,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29614,"category_count":426,"category_description":"What is love? How does it affect us? How to know someone loves you or show someone you love them? What types of love are there? Learn all that and much more.","cat_name":"love talks","category_nicename":"love-talks","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/53"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9004"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9004\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/111205"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}