{"id":98998,"date":"2020-09-21T11:46:28","date_gmt":"2020-09-21T11:46:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=98998"},"modified":"2022-03-24T02:09:50","modified_gmt":"2022-03-24T02:09:50","slug":"os-evitadores-arrependem-se-de-ter-terminado-a-relacao","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/os-evitadores-arrependem-se-de-ter-terminado-a-relacao\/","title":{"rendered":"Os evitadores arrependem-se de ter terminado a rela\u00e7\u00e3o e porque \u00e9 que a deixam?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do avoidants regret breaking up? This seems like a reasonable question to ask when there’s such little information provided from their side. <\/p>\n

Para algu\u00e9m com um estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o evitante, as rela\u00e7\u00f5es s\u00e3o mais stressantes do que para algu\u00e9m com outro tipo de estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o<\/a>. <\/p>\n

What is the source of these particular feelings? Despite wanting and needing a connection like everyone else, deep down, there’s a fear of losing their freedom.<\/p>\n

A sua liberdade pessoal est\u00e1 estreitamente ligada \u00e0 autonomia de decis\u00e3o e ao desejo de n\u00e3o ser controlado ou dependente de outra pessoa.<\/p>\n

Evitantes<\/b> break up because they feel like the other person is doing too much while they can’t do the same thing for them. <\/b><\/p>\n

They start feeling trapped because they’re not good at voicing their needs or expressing their feelings, which leads to confusion and detachment.<\/b><\/p>\n

Ultimately, they regret breaking up because they’re even more likely to break up with the people they’re truly in love with because they are scared of intimacy. <\/b><\/p>\n

Quando algu\u00e9m come\u00e7a a esfor\u00e7ar-se por eles e pela rela\u00e7\u00e3o, eles sentem-se obrigados a fazer o mesmo, o que mais tarde leva a sentimentos de culpa e a sentirem-se um fardo.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Para que uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o funcione, tem de haver interdepend\u00eancia, o que significa que ambos os parceiros dependem um do outro e se ajudam mutuamente.<\/p>\n

Avoidants don’t like the idea of being responsible for other people and taking care of their emotional needs and instead insist on everybody doing it on their own.<\/p>\n

That’s not the way a rela\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel<\/a> can progress and that’s why they don’t feel like they’re adequate enough for a relationship in general.<\/p>\n

They even feel like all their emotional needs are too much for other people and don’t see the point in bothering them with their feelings.<\/p>\n

Behind all of these psychological tactics lies the thought that they’re not good enough.<\/p>\n

In their mind, to know they’re not good enough automatically means they don’t deserve the love that has been shown to them.<\/p>\n

Por fim, todos os comportamentos de medo s\u00e3o, na sua ess\u00eancia, uma forma de escapar \u00e0 dor e \u00e0 m\u00e1goa. <\/b>Fugir do amor significa fugir da possibilidade de ser magoado e de sentir dor.<\/p>\n

A dor faz parte da vulnerabilidade, que \u00e9 necess\u00e1ria em qualquer tipo de rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Vulnerability is seen as a threat by avoidants and when they start falling for someone or start to feel deeper emotions, it’s not rare to see them trying to ruin that relationship just to prove to themselves that a stable and safe relationship isn’t possible.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, that’s exactly how they hurt the people they love the most.<\/p>\n

As rela\u00e7\u00f5es saud\u00e1veis precisam de vulnerabilidade para funcionar e isso tamb\u00e9m implica a liberdade de agir como se fosse voc\u00ea mesmo. Toda a gente precisa de se sentir confort\u00e1vel com os seus entes queridos.<\/p>\n

No entanto, evitadores<\/b> ter um <\/b>tempo dif\u00edcil<\/b> letting themself be what they are because of their core belief, which makes them think they’re not enough.<\/b><\/p>\n

That’s also the reason why they suffer from anxiety and depression and often have an impulse to run away.<\/p>\n

T\u00eam medo de mostrar o seu verdadeiro eu e de serem rejeitadas, pois o seu verdadeiro eu \u00e9, ironicamente, o que as faz rejeitar as outras pessoas.<\/p>\n

What this does is confirm what they believe deep inside and that’s the belief that relationships are the cause of the pain.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Esta vis\u00e3o das rela\u00e7\u00f5es vem das suas rela\u00e7\u00f5es com os seus cuidadores, que lhes ensinaram a n\u00e3o depender de ningu\u00e9m a n\u00e3o ser deles pr\u00f3prios e\/ou a n\u00e3o mostrar sentimentos e sinais de fraqueza porque ser\u00e3o de alguma forma castigados se o fizerem.<\/p>\n

Isto levou a associar emo\u00e7\u00f5es fortes \u00e0 dor e ao medo da rejei\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Tal como todos os outros seres humanos, procuram liga\u00e7\u00e3o e compreens\u00e3o, mas t\u00eam dificuldade em dar apoio aos outros ou em satisfazer as suas necessidades.<\/p>\n

This kind of behavior leads to over-explaining and justification of one’s actions or the actions of their partner, just to avoid the truth.<\/p>\n

Depois de fugirem e acabarem com o seu parceiro, sentem-se aliviados. Como continuam a ter o mesmo desejo interior de liga\u00e7\u00e3o, v\u00e3o procurar outra rela\u00e7\u00e3o que acabe da mesma forma.<\/p>\n

They subconsciously assume beforehand that they will be abandoned once they show their feelings and that’s why they avoid that scenario by abandoning first.<\/p>\n

An avoidant\u2019s behavior is generally disloyal and falls short when it comes to dealing with tough times that require support and care for their partner.<\/p>\n

Por exemplo, a maioria das pessoas que deixam o seu parceiro quando ficam doentes s\u00e3o evitantes.<\/p>\n

De certa forma, este comportamento est\u00e1 ligado a sentimentos de controlo, que a sa\u00edda da rela\u00e7\u00e3o lhes d\u00e1 em primeiro lugar.<\/p>\n

Porque \u00e9 que se v\u00e3o embora?<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Evitar dificuldades<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Break-ups between balanced individuals usually happen because one of them was initially less attracted to another or there are some bigger problems they don’t know how to solve.<\/p>\n

No entanto, os parceiros que se apreciam mutuamente tentam primeiro resolver o problema antes de se separarem.<\/p>\n

Por outro lado, parceiros evitantes<\/b><\/a> pr\u00e1tica <\/b>don’t-try-so-you-don’t fail<\/i><\/b> t\u00e1cticas, o que significa que normalmente saem mesmo antes de surgirem problemas reais.<\/b><\/p>\n

Est\u00e3o mais dispostos a desistir e a deixar que a sua necessidade de independ\u00eancia governe as suas ac\u00e7\u00f5es, caindo depois na mesma situa\u00e7\u00e3o com outro parceiro.<\/p>\n

It’s a self-induced illusion that something else will fix their inner problem, while they’re not able to face the problem themselves.<\/p>\n

It’s easier to leave a difficult situation and fantasize about something new and that’s exactly what they do.<\/b><\/p>\n

No entanto, h\u00e1 uma coisa que tem de ser considerada quando observamos o seu comportamento. O facto \u00e9 que a proximidade e a intimidade, os sentimentos profundos e a vulnerabilidade desencadeiam ansiedade nos evitadores.<\/p>\n

It’s not surprising that feelings of constant anxiety will become unbearable and exhausting at some point.<\/b><\/p>\n

They need their distance and can interpret a partner’s actions wrongly, feel threatened and distance themself.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Este facto, aliado a uma ansiedade constante, leva-os a abandonar a rela\u00e7\u00e3o assim que surge o mais pequeno problema.<\/p>\n

They are usually well aware that they’re the one who leaves a relationship first and in some less mature cases, they even pride themselves on it and even feel superior because this brings them a sense of value and some kind of dominance.<\/p>\n

A raz\u00e3o para uma rutura \u00e9 geralmente uma tentativa do parceiro de enfrentar o <\/b>evitante<\/b> com o seu comportamento de evitamento; por exemplo, pedindo para explicar as suas ac\u00e7\u00f5es e comportamentos, pedindo apoio, etc. e como \u00e9 que os evitadores terminam a rela\u00e7\u00e3o? De repente e de forma abrupta.<\/b><\/p>\n

Uma das situa\u00e7\u00f5es mais frequentes em que decidem deixar ou afastar-se do parceiro \u00e9 quando se trata de mostrar compromisso, como definir a rela\u00e7\u00e3o, reunir-se com os pais, falar sobre o futuro em conjunto, um noivado ou casamento, etc.<\/p>\n

This puts them into panic mode and they end up running away from the burden they didn’t even experience. This response is obviously highly illogical and a consequence of irrational fear.<\/p>\n

In a sense, it’s understandable that this kind of person, without self-awareness or an understanding of their problem, will end up \u2018helping\u2019 themselves by avoiding the problem altogether.<\/p>\n

Their approach to dealing with conflict is to pull away, be silent, downplay their or their partner\u2019s emotions and simply avoid conflict.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

If there’s no way they can get away with this behavior, which means that their partner insists on resolving the problem, they will simply leave.<\/p>\n

In other words, they do not take responsibility for their behavior without even realizing it. In fact, they’re constantly finding different reasons to justify themselves.<\/p>\n

O tipo de raz\u00f5es que escolhem depende de cada pessoa. Por exemplo, podem culpar as outras pessoas da sua vida, como os pais ou os ex, ou mesmo o seu trabalho, cren\u00e7as, etc.<\/p>\n

It’s obvious why their relationships tend to not last.<\/p>\n

N\u00e3o se apercebem de que as qualidades que procuram nos outros podem n\u00e3o ser o problema, mas sim o facto de os outros n\u00e3o conseguirem aceitar as suas t\u00e1cticas constantes e a forma como lidam com as emo\u00e7\u00f5es.<\/b><\/p>\n

It’s possible for avoidants to stay in relationships where they will probably feel unfulfilled and oblivious to the fact that they can change the situation themself.<\/p>\n

No entanto, quando surge uma situa\u00e7\u00e3o em que o seu parceiro pede apoio e ajuda, podem ir-se embora.<\/p>\n

This is because they subconsciously don\u2019t think they can meet that need and that’s exactly what they want to avoid.<\/p>\n

Esta \u00e9 a mesma dor e desilus\u00e3o que sentiram na inf\u00e2ncia e que subconscientemente transportaram para a idade adulta e para as rela\u00e7\u00f5es adultas.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Specific situations that make them feel like they’re out of control or their emotions trigger their obsession for control, which they express through avoiding responsibility and making themselves feel \u2018safe\u2019.<\/p>\n

The reason behind defensiveness and avoidance is often rooted in a fear of criticism, which usually surrounds suppressed shame or strong emotions they’re unable to express.<\/p>\n

Preferem fugir do que ficar a tratar deste problema que necessita de uma s\u00e9ria introspe\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 isto que mant\u00e9m o c\u00edrculo vicioso intacto: enfrentar o problema e depois fugir dele e assim por diante.<\/p>\n

Um caso menos frequente, em que os evitadores s\u00e3o os primeiros a ser abandonados numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o, \u00e9 quando o seu parceiro n\u00e3o tem outra op\u00e7\u00e3o sen\u00e3o desistir devido ao seu comportamento.<\/p>\n

Alguns deles t\u00eam uma autoimagem muito m\u00e1, que continuam a mostrar ao parceiro, que a certa altura come\u00e7a a acreditar nela e acaba por os deixar.<\/p>\n

When this happens, it’s just another way for an avoidant to confirm their theories about themselves as insufficient and incapable of a healthy relationship.<\/p>\n

They also aren\u2019t the type for long-distance relationships and staying in touch through social media since they usually don\u2019t give their partner enough attention in real life, let alone through online communication.<\/p>\n

Cada um de n\u00f3s cresceu dentro de normas sociais aceites e de algum tipo de c\u00f3digo moral.<\/p>\n

Once our own behavior doesn’t match the learned moral code, we start to doubt ourself and start to feel disappointed in ourself. That’s what happens to an avoidant too, after a failed relationship.<\/p>\n

The truth is, people with this style have very little compassion toward themselves and the only way they can resolve their unfulfilling relationship is by deciding that the person they’re involved with is simply \u2018not right for them\u2019.<\/b><\/p>\n

Uma liga\u00e7\u00e3o complicada aos sentimentos<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

As pessoas que se enquadram neste perfil t\u00eam uma falta de liga\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e0s mem\u00f3rias, o que leva a uma inconsist\u00eancia de sentimentos. <\/b><\/p>\n

This phenomenon is hard to understand for people who don’t have similar problems and that\u2019s why they probably ask questions like: Do <\/b>evitadores<\/b> arrepender-se de ter acabado?<\/b><\/p>\n

Since they’re not conscious of their prior feelings, they are able to switch between desiring and rejecting randomly.<\/p>\n

That’s why when they’re triggered, they tend to and can end a relationship very fast and abrupt because they have no access to their prior memories to understand their own state and behavior. <\/p>\n

Infelizmente, \u00e9 frequente separarem-se sem qualquer explica\u00e7\u00e3o razo\u00e1vel para a outra pessoa, o que pode ser extremamente dif\u00edcil.<\/p>\n

That’s exactly what makes them appear cruel or emotionless in the eyes of other people.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Since their distancing isn’t completely or at all rational but simply unconscious triggers, they don’t know how to explain their feelings and behavior to their partner or themselves.<\/p>\n

Naturalmente, depois de isto acontecer, o parceiro fica chateado e zangado, o que, aos olhos do evitante, s\u00f3 confirma que o seu parceiro \u00e9 emocionalmente demasiado para ele e afasta-o ainda mais.<\/p>\n

Subconscientemente, est\u00e3o a colocar o seu parceiro numa situa\u00e7\u00e3o em que este exagera por raz\u00f5es \u00f3bvias, para depois o rejeitarem pela rea\u00e7\u00e3o exagerada que provocaram.<\/p>\n

They not knowingly hurt their partner to push them away and that’s how they feel in control again.<\/p>\n

Este tipo de comportamento \u00e9 muito t\u00f3xico e prejudicial para o parceiro, bem como para outras pessoas e para as rela\u00e7\u00f5es que t\u00eam na vida, porque provavelmente seguem o mesmo padr\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

O facto de uma rutura abrupta resultar de um instinto e n\u00e3o de uma decis\u00e3o consciente de deixar o parceiro significa que, muitas vezes, desejam secretamente que o parceiro continue a persegui-las e n\u00e3o desista, mas isso tamb\u00e9m lhes \u00e9 muito dif\u00edcil de expressar.<\/p>\n

O ponto de engolimento e porque \u00e9 que acontece<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

N\u00e3o \u00e9 de surpreender que os evitadores n\u00e3o sejam apreciados pela sua abordagem \u00e0s rela\u00e7\u00f5es e, especialmente, \u00e0s rupturas, por raz\u00f5es \u00f3bvias.<\/p>\n

However, not all of their ideas are initially wrong. For example, it’s reasonable to expect personal freedom from your partner but, of course, it has to be consensual.<\/p>\n

It’s easy to feel trapped in other people’s needs, expectations, etc. and to keep track of your own.<\/p>\n

It’s easy to become mentally and emotionally drained in a relationship because relationships are hard work, especially when we’re not aware of our own state.<\/p>\n

It’s expected to feel overwhelmed by a relationship and a partner in general if one uses extra strength in expressing things a balanced person has no problem expressing.<\/b><\/p>\n

Isto \u00e9 v\u00e1lido para exprimir e fazer coisas e sentimentos normais do dia a dia.<\/p>\n

This is even more highlighted when a person with this attachment is in a relationship with a person who doesn’t have a similar problem but in fact has no problem expressing their thoughts and feelings and does so frequently.<\/p>\n

It’s not unusual for those who express minimal emotions to end up with the complete opposite type of person who’s very emotionally needy.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Como mencion\u00e1mos anteriormente, os evitadores tendem a desligar-se das suas mem\u00f3rias, incluindo as mem\u00f3rias das emo\u00e7\u00f5es, pelo que t\u00eam dificuldade em ligar-se aos sentimentos \u00e0 medida que estes acontecem, no momento em que acontecem.<\/p>\n

It’s like they need to process the process of the emotion before actually being sure of it and sometimes that process takes a long time.<\/p>\n

While this process lasts, they have enough time to rationalize and that’s what they do with everything.<\/p>\n

Racionalizam at\u00e9 ao ponto de terem uma justifica\u00e7\u00e3o para si pr\u00f3prios e uma raz\u00e3o para possivelmente deixarem o seu parceiro.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, what they don’t realize is their underlying and deep-rooted fear of being abandoned by the person they love.<\/p>\n

They are scared of experiencing loss. They are afraid of being abandoned so much that they’re willing to find flaws in their partner rather than face their irrational fear.<\/p>\n

Another thing that stops them from having a functional relationship is the fact that they don’t see their partner as someone to rely on but always rely on themselves instead.<\/b><\/p>\n

It’s obvious that a long-term relationship can’t be possible without partners relying on each other.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

Not only when there’s something to deal with but simply to share their current emotional state, the source of their stress, etc.<\/p>\n

For example, a partner can provide solutions that another person can’t see because they’re not objective enough.<\/p>\n

That’s not their pattern of thought. They taught themselves to first look for solutions and answers on their own instead of asking for another\u2019s opinion or help.<\/p>\n

Obter ajuda \u00e9 uma das coisas mais dif\u00edceis para eles, porque implica a necessidade de se mostrarem vulner\u00e1veis.<\/p>\n

Para al\u00e9m disso, o seu parceiro ou a sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 frequentemente \u00e9<\/i> a fonte de stress e de sentimentos confusos.<\/p>\n

A \u00fanica forma de resolver este problema \u00e9 enfrentando-o e falando abertamente sobre ele, que \u00e9 exatamente o que eles evitam.<\/p>\n

They don’t know what to do once they feel guilty toward their partner and they don’t see a way they can solve the existing problems. It’s easier for them to completely shut down and walk away.<\/p>\n

This is where and why they’re seen as cowards or simply cruel people but for them, it’s the way they save themselves from potential and pending emotional pain, which is ultimately what all of us do in one way or another.<\/p>\n

O que acontece depois de uma separa\u00e7\u00e3o?<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Estes tipos t\u00eam relativa facilidade em culpar o seu parceiro pelo fracasso da sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Their head is wired to come up with rational explanations as to why they’re not responsible or guilty for something they clearly are.<\/b><\/p>\n

They rarely go back to their ex-partner after the end of the relationship because, one, they live believing in their own narrative of what happened and two, they don’t feel like dealing with all of the sentimentos complicados p\u00f3s-rutura<\/a> mesmo que, no fundo, desejem reunir-se.<\/p>\n

A imagem que t\u00eam de si pr\u00f3prios na sua mente pinta-os como vencedores, porque foram os primeiros a p\u00f4r fim \u00e0 rela\u00e7\u00e3o e a praticar a aus\u00eancia de contacto, enquanto o seu ex-parceiro \u00e9 o abandonado.<\/p>\n

Other than that, they choose to believe that their ex-significant other wasn’t what they needed and wasn’t adequado para eles <\/i>e n\u00e3o se apercebem do mesmo padr\u00e3o que est\u00e3o sempre a repetir.<\/p>\n

Esta narrativa, entre outras coisas, mant\u00e9m a sua auto-confian\u00e7a num lugar seguro e faz com que os seus amantes passados se questionem: Ser\u00e1 que os evitadores se arrependem de ter acabado a rela\u00e7\u00e3o? Isto acontece porque n\u00e3o t\u00eam uma rea\u00e7\u00e3o emocional adequada.<\/p>\n

No entanto, como mencion\u00e1mos anteriormente, uma vez que estas decis\u00f5es impulsivas de separa\u00e7\u00e3o s\u00e3o tomadas n\u00e3o por uma mente racional mas por instintos alimentados pelo medo, acabam por ficar num estado de esp\u00edrito muito confuso, incapaz de detetar o que os levou a esse estado.<\/p>\n

Of course, not every avoidant relationship is the same. Not every break-up can be blamed on them. There are many possible causes and sometimes another person is as \u2018guilty\u2019 as them.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

This is when it’s usually the case of a toxic relationship and when both partners are severely unaware of their behavior and unwilling to work on themselves.<\/p>\n

Moreover, when there is a person who succeeds in getting near the vulnerable part of this type, they usually run away to other people who don’t see through their mask because that’s where they feel safe and protected.<\/p>\n

That’s how they prolong their pain and actually end up hurting because they push away the partner who could’ve actually helped them.<\/p>\n

They always come back to telling themselves they don’t need anybody because that’s the mechanism they learned in order to protect themselves.<\/p>\n

However, because they’re capable of having strong emotions, the same as other humans, once they do have them, they will remember them and have a memory connection they’re usually missing.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 prov\u00e1vel que essa rela\u00e7\u00e3o permane\u00e7a na sua mente como uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o pr\u00f3xima, porque sente intuitivamente que algo nessa pessoa em particular seria bom para o seu bem-estar.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, a lot of them end up denying the need for any kind of deeper relationship and choose to go about their life alone or with occasional short-lived romances, all the while telling themselves (and others) that they haven\u2019t yet met the right person.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

In the end, their biggest problem becomes the inability to accept the help of someone who genuinely wants what’s good for them and that’s what creates immense pain in them and the people who love them.<\/p>\n

O facto de aceitarem todos os desafios da vida como algo que t\u00eam de fazer sozinhos \u00e9 o que os pode levar \u00e0 depress\u00e3o, <\/b>baixa autoestima<\/b><\/a> e insatisfa\u00e7\u00e3o geral na vida.<\/b><\/p>\n

Para uma pessoa ser feliz, precisa de ter rela\u00e7\u00f5es e liga\u00e7\u00f5es profundas e compreensivas com outras pessoas.<\/p>\n

What’s probably the saddest thing of all is knowing that they don’t really want to leave but feel a strong impulse to do so and they can’t explain their actions or at least don’t explain them in a way where they get to the root of the problem.<\/p>\n

This ties in with the underlying truth that they’re not actually abandoning the person because of them but because of the deep belief that they’re not enough. <\/p>\n

What they do is \u2018save the other person from themselves\u2019, even though they probably didn’t see them as something threatening or burdensome at all.<\/b><\/p>\n

Sadly, they choose to destroy what they built with another person just to run away and fight their battles on their own when they could’ve had a partner on their side who would probably willingly help them.<\/p>\n

O rescaldo da separa\u00e7\u00e3o<\/b><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Tipos de comportamentos destrutivos<\/h2>\n

Immediately after a break-up, avoidant-style people don’t have too many emotions, which is why many of their ex-partners ask the question we’re answering: Do avoidants regret breaking up?<\/p>\n

Initially, they feel relieved and happy that they don’t have to deal with difficult and engulfing emotions but instead are free to do whatever they feel like (which they probably could have while they were in the relationship).<\/b><\/p>\n

All in all, they don’t show signs of missing their partner, at least not right after the break-up. <\/p>\n

While they’re in a relationship, they have the feeling that their current partner can hurt them because they do feel.<\/p>\n

No entanto, quando o parceiro se vai embora, mudam completamente e ficam emocionalmente desligados e quase parece que t\u00eam mesmo uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o de ligar e desligar interrutor<\/i>.<\/p>\n

They enjoy their newfound freedom and control over everything they thought they didn’t have.<\/p>\n

This also means that they don’t need to overthink things that were bugging them while they were in the relationship, such as thoughts about their inadequacy and fears of being left, etc.<\/p>\n

Nesta altura, come\u00e7am mesmo a pensar em novas rela\u00e7\u00f5es porque sentem falta da intimidade mas detestam o compromisso.<\/p>\n

Depois de se envolverem em <\/b>p\u00f3s-rutura<\/b> Quando se trata de uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o, acabam por ter alguns pensamentos que os incomodavam na sua \u00faltima rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/b><\/p>\n

No entanto, uma nova pessoa d\u00e1-lhes uma sensa\u00e7\u00e3o tempor\u00e1ria de objetivo e controlo sobre a sua vida at\u00e9 ao momento em que a ilus\u00e3o a destr\u00f3i novamente.<\/b><\/p>\n

\u00c9 claro que foi assim que alguns deles constru\u00edram uma reputa\u00e7\u00e3o que pode ser percebida como negativa, dependendo da pessoa e dos seus valores \u00e9ticos e morais.<\/p>\n

Most bad guys are portrayed as characters who probably have this same attachment system and that’s obviously not a coincidence.<\/p>\n

While it feels good and interesting at the beginning of a new adventure, soon it starts to feel underwhelming and fake because there’s no authentic feeling of connection.<\/p>\n

That’s where they usually come to realize they miss their old partner with whom they had a <\/b>rela\u00e7\u00e3o estreita<\/b> e come\u00e7am a sentir que perderam o seu objetivo e que se desligaram de si pr\u00f3prios.<\/b><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, they realize they love their partner once they’re out of their reach.<\/p>\n

Sem ter para onde ir e sem nada para al\u00e9m das suas emo\u00e7\u00f5es e pensamentos, passam normalmente por um per\u00edodo dif\u00edcil ou mesmo por uma depress\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

It’s not unusual for them to turn to some kind of opiates to turn their mind from painful thoughts and feelings. Essentially, all kinds of opiates are the definition of avoidance.<\/p>\n

In parallel with other styles of attachment theory, it’s likely that they’re going to be the ones who spend most of the time alone. <\/p>\n

The good thing is they feel good on their own most of the time. Even though they need connection, they’re still most likely to enjoy time alone out of all people.<\/b><\/p>\n

Their coping mechanism includes their life attitude, which always looks to the future and tries to keep the past in the past, which isn’t necessarily bad.<\/b><\/p>\n

Nega\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Even though their parents were in their life throughout their childhood, they didn’t know how to show emotions or showed them too much, so avoidants learned to push people away from them. <\/p>\n

Ficar\u00e3o chocados se te fores embora, como todos os humanos, mas n\u00e3o perguntar\u00e3o porqu\u00ea, nem pedir\u00e3o perd\u00e3o se souberem porqu\u00ea.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, they will consciously push you away just to feel how much they care about you when you’re gone. <\/p>\n

O sentimento de solid\u00e3o \u00e9 a emo\u00e7\u00e3o mais dura que podem sentir, por isso procuram-na desesperadamente, ao mesmo tempo que temem a perda real.<\/b><\/p>\n

Their defense walls make them blind to their partner’s emotions, so it’s often surprising for them when their partner finally leaves after they are fed up with all the neglect and lack of communication. <\/p>\n

They think all the world desperately needs their attention, while it’s the complete opposite.<\/p>\n

Na sua busca de aten\u00e7\u00e3o e afeto, escondem-se atr\u00e1s do egocentrismo, n\u00e3o permitindo que ningu\u00e9m ou nada lhes diga o contr\u00e1rio. <\/p>\n

In their head, the only balance they make is a sense of neediness but in a way that everybody needs them and they don’t need anyone.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Essa sensa\u00e7\u00e3o de que algu\u00e9m est\u00e1 sempre dispon\u00edvel para eles \u00e9 falsa, mas por vezes faz com que pare\u00e7am estar a importunar algu\u00e9m para obter a sua aten\u00e7\u00e3o, quando sentem exatamente o contr\u00e1rio.<\/p>\n

Nesses casos, quando este tipo de pessoa se apercebe finalmente que est\u00e1 completamente sozinho, come\u00e7a a perceber, muitas vezes inconscientemente, que o principal objetivo de qualquer rela\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 tratar bem o outro. <\/p>\n

Enfrentam a sua perda, ainda sem processar completamente as suas emo\u00e7\u00f5es, apenas para acabarem por se proteger mais uma vez com as suas paredes. <\/b><\/p>\n

\u00c9 muito importante para eles partir e n\u00e3o ser o \u00fanico a partir porque, caso contr\u00e1rio, isso ir\u00e1 despoletar os seus traumas de abandono de inf\u00e2ncia.<\/p>\n

Em caso de rutura, podem chegar a distanciar-se de tal forma que mudam completamente de local de vida, de emprego e at\u00e9 de pessoas que os rodeiam.<\/p>\n

Uma vez que n\u00e3o conseguem processar as emo\u00e7\u00f5es de uma forma madura, nem tiveram ningu\u00e9m na inf\u00e2ncia que lhes mostrasse e ensinasse como faz\u00ea-lo, fogem delas o mais depressa poss\u00edvel, mesmo que inconscientemente saibam que gostam delas. <\/b><\/p>\n

Cuidar deles n\u00e3o \u00e9 partilhar no sentido das emo\u00e7\u00f5es; cuidar deles \u00e9 fugir, tentar bloquear e apagar todas essas emo\u00e7\u00f5es que v\u00eam com o amor por algu\u00e9m. <\/p>\n

It seems like they don’t love themselves enough to allow others to love them completely, with all their good and bad sides. And if you don’t love yourself, how will you love anybody else?<\/b><\/p>\n

Arrependimento e saudades do parceiro<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Os evitadores arrependem-se de ter terminado a rela\u00e7\u00e3o?<\/p>\n

Well, once they’re far away and their ex-partner is out of touch, that’s when their feelings start to collapse into something painful, as it always does when it comes to suppressed emotions.<\/p>\n

Once they don’t feel overwhelmed by the direct presence, words or actions of their ex-significant other, that’s when they become aware of how much they need intimacy and closeness.<\/p>\n

If their ex persists in not reaching out to them, they might feel more and more miserable and even then stay committed to blaming their ex for everything and even blaming them for leaving them, even if it’s the other way around.<\/p>\n

There’s also an interesting pattern that includes a sense of enjoyment once they know their ex has moved on because that how they validate their own belief that they’re unable to be in a relationship or that they’re unlovable.<\/b><\/p>\n

Nesta altura, um <\/b>pessoa evitante<\/b> podem at\u00e9 exprimir algum tipo de sentimento rom\u00e2ntico, n\u00e3o em rela\u00e7\u00e3o ao seu ex, mas em rela\u00e7\u00e3o a si pr\u00f3prios ou aos seus <\/b>melhores amigos<\/b>, por exemplo.<\/b><\/p>\n

They feel safe to finally show their emotions once they feel there’s no danger of being engulfed by their ex because he or she is permanently gone.<\/p>\n

Keeping in touch with an ex\u2026?<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Avoidant attachment types don’t know how to fix things, so they won’t make contact with their ex because that would create enormous feelings of exposure and uneasiness.<\/p>\n

They don’t like to be out of control of a situation, so they avoid things that take their independence away or even like making amends with the people who hurt them. <\/p>\n

As suas ac\u00e7\u00f5es resultam da sua falta de confian\u00e7a nos outros, porque aprenderam ao longo da sua vida que ningu\u00e9m tem interesses pr\u00f3ximos do seu cora\u00e7\u00e3o a n\u00e3o ser eles pr\u00f3prios. <\/p>\n

Se outra pessoa tiver o controlo da situa\u00e7\u00e3o, este tipo de pessoa sentir\u00e1 que podem aproveitar-se dela a qualquer momento.<\/b><\/p>\n

Os evitadores s\u00e3o tamb\u00e9m muito implac\u00e1veis quando se trata de rela\u00e7\u00f5es ou de pessoas que agem de uma certa forma em rela\u00e7\u00e3o a eles, por isso s\u00e3o muito maus a fazer com que as coisas durem; \u00e9 sempre mais f\u00e1cil come\u00e7ar algo novo com algu\u00e9m completamente desconhecido, isto \u00e9, at\u00e9 que a m\u00e1scara caia e eles vejam a pessoa como ela realmente \u00e9 e fujam.<\/p>\n

They don’t have enough courage or patience to deal with people intimately or for long periods of time.<\/b><\/p>\n

Todas as formas de cuidar s\u00e3o desgastantes para eles, porque \u00e9 muito mais f\u00e1cil simplesmente n\u00e3o se importar com as pessoas, independentemente do facto de as outras pessoas os fazerem sentir desejados ou seguros.<\/b><\/p>\n

Na maior parte das vezes, este tipo de pessoa n\u00e3o tem a certeza do que realmente sente, porque est\u00e1, \u00e0 sua maneira, desligado das suas emo\u00e7\u00f5es profundas.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Desta forma, sentem que continuam a ter o controlo, mesmo que outra pessoa esteja a puxar todos os cordelinhos e a decidir praticamente tudo por eles.<\/p>\n

Pelo contr\u00e1rio, gostam muito de jogar jogos de persegui\u00e7\u00e3o porque isso f\u00e1-los sentir maiores, melhores, mais desejados, etc.<\/p>\n

Parece que os seus desejos nunca s\u00e3o verdadeiramente claros ou compreendidos pelas outras pessoas, principalmente porque os mant\u00eam vagos, pois isso f\u00e1-los sentir que t\u00eam o controlo da situa\u00e7\u00e3o. <\/p>\n

De tudo isto nasce a teimosia e, mais frequentemente, optam pela solid\u00e3o do que pelo confronto com as pessoas que os magoaram ou pela tentativa de repara\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Isso significaria que teriam de processar emo\u00e7\u00f5es muito grandes e pesadas e, tal como o seu nome indica, um tipo evitante evit\u00e1-las-ia.<\/p>\n

Because of this avoidance, they really don’t know how to process those emotions even if they wanted to.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, culpability becomes so strong and insufferable that they will try to make amends with their ex-partner but in most cases, it will be a game of chase that\u2019s full of vague emotions, until the ex-partner addresses all the problems and the avoidant type, once again, runs away.<\/p>\n

Evitantes<\/b> won’t give or ask for forgiveness most of the time because they have strong defensive walls built around them for fear of their own vulnerability.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Na maioria das vezes, cortam os la\u00e7os com uma tesoura afiada e seguem em frente com a sua vida, porque aprenderam a fugir dos seus pr\u00f3prios sentimentos, de um sentimento de culpa e, mais importante, de n\u00e3o gostarem da outra pessoa.<\/p>\n

As outras pessoas podem consider\u00e1-lo um cobarde por causa disso.<\/p>\n

A maioria <\/b>evitante<\/b> types won’t be friends or even be friendly after a relationship ends because of their discomfort, which emerges from the lack of control and possible conflict situations.<\/b><\/p>\n

They will avoid conflict or talking about their or somebody else’s emotions at all costs.<\/b><\/p>\n

Tal como a maioria dos seres humanos, tamb\u00e9m gostam de sentir o apoio de outras pessoas, pelo que, por vezes, podem manter o contacto com alguns dos seus ex-parceiros, desde que as conversas e as rela\u00e7\u00f5es sejam leves e n\u00e3o se fale de emo\u00e7\u00f5es. <\/p>\n

They don’t like to be fully invested in things, so this is another way of theirs to protect themselves and hide behind their walls.<\/p>\n

Since it’s hard to find someone to be in a nonreciprocal emotive relationship, light communication with ex-partners will give an avoidant type a sense of comfort and stability but will also make them invest even less into a new relationship and build their character to be more avoidant. <\/p>\n

Uma vez que, para eles, \u00e9 importante que a comunica\u00e7\u00e3o n\u00e3o seja muito emocional ou orientada para os sentimentos, encontrar\u00e3o grande satisfa\u00e7\u00e3o em conduzir conversas vagas sobre, bem, praticamente nada de importante.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

S\u00e3o os senhores da conversa fiada.<\/p>\n

Se um tipo evitante \u00e9 o seu ex que n\u00e3o consegue ultrapassar, bem, tenho m\u00e1s not\u00edcias para si.<\/p>\n

Provavelmente, nunca mais voltar\u00e3o para si e, se o fizerem, v\u00e3o apenas jogar um dos seus jogos de persegui\u00e7\u00e3o para aumentar o seu ego, enquanto voc\u00ea fica sentado sem saber o que o atingiu. <\/p>\n

Gostam de manter a dist\u00e2ncia ou de o manter afastado das suas paredes como garantia de que n\u00e3o ser\u00e3o demolidas.<\/p>\n

Since it is not very mature to blame anyone but yourself for your doings or even letting them do anything hurtful to you, it is better to work on building your character and learn to avoid avoidants so they don’t break you or your heart with their mindless chasing.<\/p>\n

Os evitadores n\u00e3o se perdoam a si pr\u00f3prios nem a todas as pessoas com quem entram em contacto, mas todos n\u00f3s precisamos de perd\u00e3o por vezes ou apenas de uma compreens\u00e3o dos nossos sentimentos.<\/p>\n

Por vezes, \u00e9 bom ver que algu\u00e9m est\u00e1 a tentar compreender-nos, n\u00e3o importa se realmente o faz.<\/p>\n

A reciprocidade \u00e9 algo que todos n\u00f3s devemos procurar de uma forma ou de outra e deixar de procurar num parceiro do tipo evitante. Se ele evita os seus pr\u00f3prios sentimentos, imagine como evitar\u00e1 os seus.<\/p>\n

Ningu\u00e9m gosta de ser evitado e ningu\u00e9m gosta de se sentir apertado numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Se precisar de pensar v\u00e1rias vezes para expressar as suas emo\u00e7\u00f5es, problemas ou conforto, transforme-se num tipo evitante por um segundo e fuja. <\/p>\n

Por vezes, e s\u00f3 por vezes, n\u00e3o faz mal ser-se evitante; se se evitarem os evitantes.<\/p>\n

Outros tipos de estilos de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Para al\u00e9m dos estilos de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o evitantes (que incluem o desdenhoso-evitador<\/a> e o estilo temeroso-evitador), existem mais dois tipos que expressam diferentes padr\u00f5es de comportamento e necessidades baseados no nosso subconsciente: o seguro e o ansioso.<\/p>\n

Todos eles s\u00e3o diferentes e t\u00eam um percurso de forma\u00e7\u00e3o diferente. Algumas pessoas com determinados estilos de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o parecem ser mais racionais, enquanto outras parecem ser mais passionais e assim por diante.<\/p>\n

Conhecer o seu sistema de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o significa uma melhor compreens\u00e3o das rela\u00e7\u00f5es na sua vida e, especialmente, das rela\u00e7\u00f5es rom\u00e2nticas, porque lhe permite compreender as suas necessidades e emo\u00e7\u00f5es mais \u00edntimas e a forma como estas se manifestam na vida quotidiana.<\/p>\n

O seu tipo de estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o pode indicar-lhe a forma como causa e lida com conflitos, a forma como demonstra ou restringe o amor e os traumas de inf\u00e2ncia que desencadearam um determinado tipo de comportamento mais tarde na vida.<\/p>\n

You can discover your type by taking online quizzes but it’s probable that you’ll recognize yourself in one of the descriptions below.<\/p>\n

Seguro<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

O estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o seguro \u00e9 considerado o mais equilibrado e saud\u00e1vel dos estilos de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

What differentiates the secure type from other types is the fact that they, for example, don’t see break-ups as something tragic or they ignore them.<\/p>\n

They see what they can learn from their experience and what they need and don’t need to be happy.<\/p>\n

That, of course, doesn’t exclude normal emotional processes as grieving after parting with their partner.<\/p>\n

As separa\u00e7\u00f5es s\u00e3o dif\u00edceis para todos os tipos de pessoas porque a nossa vida est\u00e1 rodeada de liga\u00e7\u00f5es emocionais e da sua qualidade ao longo da vida.<\/p>\n

No entanto, um tipo seguro, ao contr\u00e1rio dos outros tipos, tem uma vis\u00e3o mais clara dos seus sentimentos e \u00e9 menos prov\u00e1vel que se envolva em comportamentos destrutivos por causa disso.<\/p>\n

Conseguem racionalizar uma situa\u00e7\u00e3o sem a racionalizar demasiado e conseguem sentir dor sem serem carentes ou destrutivas.<\/p>\n

They also know that the fact that they are or they are not in a relationship doesn’t say anything about them as a person. They are neither dependent nor avoidant.<\/p>\n

Em suma, t\u00eam uma autoimagem saud\u00e1vel e pensam em si pr\u00f3prios de forma positiva, o que lhes permite ter rela\u00e7\u00f5es saud\u00e1veis com outras pessoas na sua vida, para al\u00e9m dos parceiros rom\u00e2nticos.<\/p>\n

They have no problem depending on others when it comes to matters in which they need help and they don’t have a problem with others depending on them.<\/p>\n

Ter uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel com a fam\u00edlia e os amigos \u00e9 tamb\u00e9m uma das coisas mais importantes no processo de recupera\u00e7\u00e3o de uma separa\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Ansioso<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Um estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ansioso \u00e9 t\u00edpico das pessoas que manifestam um comportamento pegajoso numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

A raz\u00e3o n\u00famero um que causa este comportamento \u00e9 a falta de seguran\u00e7a numa idade precoce, que deveria ter sido dada pelos pais.<\/p>\n

Since they have a very needy and clingy attachment style, they’re mostly interested in romantic relationships in particular.<\/p>\n

Naturalmente, \u00e9 por isso que a separa\u00e7\u00e3o de um parceiro \u00e9 a mais dolorosa de todos os estilos de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

O problema mais frequente dos parceiros ansiosos \u00e9 o facto de acreditarem que n\u00e3o s\u00e3o suficientemente bons como s\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

It’s not surprising that without changing this particular belief, over time, they will convince themselves and possibly their partner of this lie.<\/p>\n

At the same time, they put their partner on a pedestal and treat them like they’re better than them. This unhealthy approach magnifies the pain once they break up with their partner.<\/p>\n

They have a hard time getting over a romantic relationship and moving on with their life. They’re most likely to message, call and try to reunite with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.<\/p>\n

The fact that they’re so immersed in their romantic relationship means there’s a possibility they don’t have enough other people in their life, which means they don’t have a lot of people to help them deal with their post-break-up pain.<\/p>\n

Of course, combined with a poor self-image, that’s also the reason why an anxious person decides to go back to their ex. <\/p>\n

Dismissivo-evitante<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Avoidant styles are known to stem from a lack of caregivers\u2019\/parents’ attention in childhood. The aftermath of that is an inability to engage in intimate relationships and a fear of being vulnerable.<\/p>\n

Apesar de terem a mesma causa, existem dois estilos de evitamento significativamente diferentes.<\/p>\n

O primeiro tipo \u00e9 o chamado desdenhoso-evitador. Caracteriza-se por um comportamento bastante mau em rela\u00e7\u00e3o ao parceiro porque o considera menos do que \u00e9, o que exala tra\u00e7os narc\u00edsicos.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not surprising that many ex-partners ask if dismissive avoidants regret breaking up, since they appear so cold. It’s not unusual for a dismissive-avoidant to pretend they’re unfazed by a break-up and keep searching for a rational explanation in their mind so they can avoid the pain.<\/p>\n

Obviously, that\u2019s also the reason why their past relationships could not grow.<\/p>\n

A sua mente \u00e9 treinada para acreditar que todas as rela\u00e7\u00f5es s\u00e3o essencialmente uma perda de liberdade pessoal, o que cria ainda mais dificuldades e um tempo dif\u00edcil para estabelecer liga\u00e7\u00f5es profundas com outras pessoas.<\/p>\n

No entanto, racionalizadas ou n\u00e3o, elas magoam-se profundamente e todas essas emo\u00e7\u00f5es n\u00e3o processadas acumulam-se e s\u00f3 provocam comportamentos ainda mais bruscos e repentinos, como separa\u00e7\u00f5es de surpresa, partidas sem explica\u00e7\u00e3o, etc.<\/p>\n

Their suppressed emotions can be dealt with in various ways and some of them are destructive and unhealthy, such as some kind of addiction which is also seen in an avoidant’s habits.<\/p>\n

Medo e evitamento<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

The difference between dismissive and fearful avoidants is the fact that they’re not as good or effective at masking and ignoring their feelings.<\/p>\n

For a fearful-avoidant, relationships are a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they’re scared of intimacy but on the other hand, they crave partnerships because of their poor self-image and self-esteem.<\/p>\n

Essentially, they search for what they run from, which is obviously a vicious circle that doesn’t make sense and leads nowhere.<\/p>\n

Their inner belief that they’re not good enough and therefore need to pull away is a self-fulfilling prophecy because that’s what ends up happening.<\/p>\n

What often happens with this avoidant style is that they end up dating a person who is not the best choice for them and doesn’t make them feel safe, while they run away from those who are actually a better option for them.<\/p>\n

This ends up as either a toxic relationship or a casual relationship that includes intimacy but isn’t officially considered a relationship.<\/p>\n

Unsurprisingly, this leads anxious-avoidants to feel extremely confused about their relationship and to end it because, on one hand, they are trying their best to stay untouched by what’s happening but on the other, they feel very hurt, abandoned and alone.<\/p>\n

Rebound relationships, short and passionate relationships and everything that’s similar to those are what they usually end up in, until the point when they become more self-aware and try to change their belief system and approach.<\/p>\n

If there’s no honest self-reflection or a genuine change in behavior in this type, nothing will work out.<\/p>\n

Wrap up: Balance is possible if you\u2019re willing to put the effort in<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

At the end of the day, people’s behavior is not something that’s set in stone. Do avoidants regret breaking up? As we already concluded, it depends on many things. <\/p>\n

S\u00e3o humanos como toda a gente e t\u00eam o seu pr\u00f3prio mecanismo de sobreviv\u00eancia que lhes permite evitar a dor e procurar o prazer.<\/p>\n

A \u00fanica quest\u00e3o \u00e9 saber se est\u00e3o suficientemente conscientes e se amam o suficiente.<\/p>\n

Todos n\u00f3s temos escolhas \u00e0 nossa frente e escolhemos o que queremos realizar na nossa vida.<\/p>\n

A lot of people aren’t well aware of how much their inner process reflects on their outer life.<\/b><\/p>\n

N\u00e3o est\u00e3o conscientes do facto de que as suas ac\u00e7\u00f5es s\u00e3o controladas pelos seus <\/b>necessidades pr\u00f3prias<\/b> e medos que existem subconscientemente.<\/b><\/p>\n

Facing our innermost fears is a very scary thing to do and not everyone is up to the challenge. However, it’s the only way to make real progress and understand our own being on a deep level.<\/b><\/p>\n

Ningu\u00e9m nos pode dar tanto amor, compreens\u00e3o e apre\u00e7o como n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios.<\/p>\n

Nobody knows us better than we know ourself and that’s exactly why we should work harder on understanding ourself even better.<\/b><\/p>\n

True self-love and genuine self-acceptance are what’s going to ultimately better our relationships with others and make space for healthy ones, including romantic relationships which are the biggest but most rewarding test of all.<\/p>\n

Problemas de relacionamento<\/b> v\u00e3o ser menos intensas quando aprendermos a amar-nos a n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios.<\/b><\/p>\n

Balance is possible if we’re willing to put in the work. We’re not doomed or fully convinced of our current state of mind, which is not our whole and integrated identity.<\/p>\n

Until we get to know ourself with our pain, we don’t really know who we are.<\/p>\n

The early pain in our life was a catalyst for the disintegration of our true self and that’s why we need to understand it and heal it.<\/p>\n

Em vez de optar por ser definido por mais um r\u00f3tulo, seja ele <\/b>teoria da vincula\u00e7\u00e3o<\/b> ou outra coisa qualquer, escolhe quem queres ser e torna-te nisso.<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do avoidants regret breaking up? This seems like a reasonable question to ask when there’s such little information provided from their side.  For someone with an avoidant attachment style, relationships are more stressful than for someone with another type of attachment style.  What is the source of these particular feelings? Despite wanting and needing a…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":99003,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29628],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-98998","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dealing-with-breakup"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29628,"label":"dealing with breakup"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/Do-Avoidants-Regret-Breaking-Up-And-Why-Do-They-Leave.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"April Callaghan","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/april\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29628,"name":"dealing with breakup","slug":"dealing-with-breakup","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29628,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Breakups are painful but worry not; you don't need to go through all of it alone. If you need advice on when and how to break up, you'll find it all here.\r\n","parent":29627,"count":263,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29628,"category_count":263,"category_description":"Breakups are painful but worry not; you don't need to go through all of it alone. If you need advice on when and how to break up, you'll find it all here.\r\n","cat_name":"dealing with breakup","category_nicename":"dealing-with-breakup","category_parent":29627}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98998","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=98998"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98998\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/99003"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=98998"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=98998"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=98998"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}