{"id":99899,"date":"2020-09-21T16:08:00","date_gmt":"2020-09-21T16:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=99899"},"modified":"2021-08-12T07:07:10","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T07:07:10","slug":"o-que-fazer-quando-se-magoa-alguem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/o-que-fazer-quando-se-magoa-alguem\/","title":{"rendered":"9 coisas a fazer quando magoamos algu\u00e9m"},"content":{"rendered":"

Being heartbroken by someone you love is hard. However, if you’re not a bad person or a narcissist, you can also go through a tough time when tu <\/i>magoar outra pessoa. <\/p>\n

That is exactly what’s going on with you right now. The guilt is killing you because you’re aware of your harmful actions.<\/p>\n

It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about your significant other, a coworker, a friend, or a family member, the bottom line is pretty much the same: You broke your loved one’s heart and you’re looking for ways to fix things.<\/p>\n

Well, you’ve come to the right place where you’ll get all the professional advice you need. Here is exactly how you should behave and what you should do when you hurt someone. <\/p>\n

Remember that you\u2019re a human being<\/h2>\n

\"fotografia<\/p>\n

First and foremost, you should always keep one thing in mind: You\u2019re just a human being made out of flesh and blood. Of course, this doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019re entitled to do whatever the hell you want.<\/p>\n

However, one mistake doesn’t automatically make you a pessoa m\u00e1<\/a> ou. <\/p>\n

The fact is that you\u2019re not a robot or a preprogrammed machine that is not allowed to <\/b>cometer erros<\/b>.<\/b> You might have tried running away from this fact but the truth is that you\u2019re far from perfect. <\/p>\n

You have your set of flaws and whether you like it or not, now is the time to accept them. Knowing this, will make it easier for you to come to terms with the fact that you\u2019re simply sinful, just like the rest of us. <\/p>\n

On the other hand, precisely because you\u2019re a <\/b>ser humano<\/b>significa tamb\u00e9m que tem uma consci\u00eancia.<\/b><\/p>\n

Tem uma mente e, por conseguinte, a capacidade de se arrepender desses erros e, eventualmente, de os corrigir. <\/p>\n

Uma posi\u00e7\u00e3o complicada, eu sei. Exceto que esta combina\u00e7\u00e3o de qualidades foi o que o trouxe aqui em primeiro lugar. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s what made you hurt the person you love and it\u2019s what made you feel guilty for your actions. <\/p>\n

Don\u2019t defend your wrong action<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

What you did wasn\u2019t right. When you hurt someone who cared for you, you didn\u2019t only cause their heartbreak, you also stabbed them in the back. You violated their trust and you killed their faith in people.<\/p>\n

Therefore, the consequences of your actions are numerous and the pain you\u2019ve caused won\u2019t go away overnight.<\/p>\n

Em vez disso, a sua v\u00edtima ter\u00e1 de passar por um processo de cura<\/a>. Let\u2019s be real: It\u2019s all your fault.<\/p>\n

De acordo com a maioria dos <\/b>coaches de rela\u00e7\u00f5es<\/b>, o <\/b>pior coisa<\/b> you can do at this point is to try and pretend that you haven\u2019t done anything that wrong.<\/b><\/p>\n

De facto, defender as suas ac\u00e7\u00f5es pode ser ainda mais doloroso para a v\u00edtima do que aquilo que fez.<\/b><\/p>\n

When you do something wrong, you\u2019re the only one responsible for it. There is no point in looking for excuses or justifications.<\/p>\n

Your mistakes are not canceled by the fact that you were \u201cprovoked\u201d to behave like this, that your victim \u201cmade you\u201d hurt them, and so on.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 preciso ser suficientemente respons\u00e1vel para apoiar as suas ac\u00e7\u00f5es, como um verdadeiro adulto. <\/p>\n

Por favor, evitem a todo o custo o jogo da culpa.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying that the other party is perfect or that they never did anything to hurt you, but this is beside the point; you\u2019re looking for redemption for your harmful behavior. <\/p>\n

A \u00fanica forma de o fazer \u00e9 aceitar toda a responsabilidade, sem tentar fugir-lhe. <\/p>\n

Acknowledge the other person\u2019s emotions<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

What you have to be aware of is that we all have big differences in character. Therefore, someone is not weaker than you just for having a harder time accepting the things you\u2019ve done to them.<\/p>\n

Maybe you wouldn\u2019t be this hurt if you were in their shoes and that\u2019s your right. However, the other person is clearly heartbroken and they\u2019re entitled to feel that way.<\/p>\n

So, please, acknowledge the other person\u2019s emotions, even if you don\u2019t fully understand them. Give them the right to feel sadness and pain.<\/b><\/p>\n

They feel betrayed or disappointed by something you did. It\u2019s just how things are and you don\u2019t have a say in that. <\/p>\n

The worst thing you can do in this case is to try and diminish the other party\u2019s hurt feelings. Don\u2019t even think of accusing them of being too sensitive or overly emotional.<\/p>\n

If you do this, you\u2019ll show that you actually have no remorse whatsoever. You\u2019ll show that you\u2019re only apologizing because it\u2019s the right thing to do, not because you lamentamos muito<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Furthermore, this will be proof that you\u2019re completely unaware of your mistakes. You\u2019re not aware of the magnitude of your actions nor of the effects they had on someone else. <\/p>\n

Abordar a v\u00edtima o mais gentilmente poss\u00edvel<\/h2>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

What you need to know is that your victim\u2019s heart is fragile right now. They have hurt feelings and the last thing they need is someone aggravating their wounds.<\/p>\n

Therefore, you have to approach them as gently as possible. While you’re trying to repair your broken relationship, pay attention to their mental and emotional state. <\/p>\n

N\u00e3o h\u00e1 brigas, nem gritos, nem jogos de culpas, nem expectativas demasiado grandes. <\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t mean that you should walk on eggshells around them or that you should treat them like a little child.<\/b><\/p>\n

No entanto, \u00e9 preciso ter cuidado para n\u00e3o fazer nada que os magoe de novo. <\/b><\/p>\n

Yes, you might think that they\u2019re too sensitive now. Nevertheless, don\u2019t forget that you\u2019re the cause of their sensitivity and if you want them to forgive you, you\u2019ll just have to deal with it. <\/p>\n

Don\u2019t rush the process<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

When you hurt someone you love and want their forgiveness, you\u2019ll probably push them as hard as possible to get it.<\/p>\n

You want them to see how eager you are to come back into their life and you don\u2019t miss any opportunity to reach out.<\/p>\n

Temos vontade de lhes telefonar, enviar mensagens de texto, aparecer nos locais onde esperamos que estejam ou at\u00e9 mesmo ir bater \u00e0 sua porta. No entanto, isso s\u00f3 pode ser contraproducente. <\/b><\/p>\n

By doing this, you\u2019re putting an unbearable amount of pressure on your victim. You show them that their forgiveness is more important than the way they feel.<\/p>\n

Basically, you\u2019re apologizing because you want to clear your conscience, not because you want them to feel better. <\/p>\n

Consequently, when you pressure your victim, you make them feel guilty. They don\u2019t feel ready to perdoar-vos<\/a> just yet but can\u2019t seem to get rid of your presence in their life.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, your victim can get angrier at you. You\u2019re not giving them space or time to clear their head and to reach a conclusion.<\/p>\n

Instead, you\u2019re constantly on their back, without any understanding of the way they feel and for the problems they\u2019re facing. <\/p>\n

Por conseguinte, the best thing to do is let time work its magic. Show the other person that you\u2019re there and that you don\u2019t mind patiently waiting for them to be ready for you. <\/b><\/p>\n

Perdoar a si pr\u00f3prio e cuidar de si pr\u00f3prio<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

While there are people who act as if they didn\u2019t do anything wrong, there are also the ones who beat themselves up too hard.<\/p>\n

Estar aqui e procurar coisas para fazer quando se magoa algu\u00e9m, faz claramente parte do segundo grupo. <\/p>\n

Embora n\u00e3o seja aceit\u00e1vel n\u00e3o assumir a responsabilidade pelos seus actos, julgar-se com demasiada severidade tamb\u00e9m n\u00e3o \u00e9 saud\u00e1vel.<\/p>\n

De facto, seria melhor se conseguisse encontrar o meio-termo e o equil\u00edbrio entre os dois. <\/p>\n

Accept that your behavior was not okay and that it caused someone\u2019s emotional pain, but don\u2019t see it as the end of the world and as something you can\u2019t correct. <\/p>\n

Veja: A outra pessoa pode perdoar-lhe tudo o que lhe fez. <\/b>After all, that\u2019s what will happen sooner or later.<\/p>\n

No entanto, <\/b>deixar ir<\/b> de auto-julgamento \u00e9 ainda mais importante.<\/b><\/p>\n

\u00c9 preciso limpar a consci\u00eancia e livrar-se da culpa se quiser preservar a sua sa\u00fade mental e dedicar-se a algumas actividades. <\/b>autocuidado<\/b><\/a>.<\/b><\/p>\n

Beating yourself up and calling yourself a narcissist won\u2019t get you anywhere. <\/p>\n

Every time these negative feelings overwhelm you, remind yourself that they’re completely pointless and will achieve nothing.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t turn back time as much as you might want to, can you? Therefore, you won\u2019t erase your victim\u2019s pain by overthinking your actions. <\/p>\n

Pedir outra perspetiva<\/h2>\n

\"duas<\/p>\n

If you feel lost and as though you don\u2019t know what\u2019s the smart thing to do, the best thing is to look for another opinion and perspective. <\/p>\n

After all, you\u2019re emotionally involved in this entire situation and you can\u2019t be objective about it, despite all of your efforts.<\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019re being too hard on yourself. At the same time, there is also a possibility that you\u2019re justifying your actions and looking for excuses for thems.<\/p>\n

De qualquer forma, you\u2019re not being neutral here and neither is your victim. <\/b>They\u2019re the ones hurt in this case and it\u2019s possible that they\u2019re blowing things out of proportion and looking for attention as well.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 por isso que deve dirigir-se a algu\u00e9m em quem confie e contar-lhe toda esta situa\u00e7\u00e3o. Escolhe um amigo honesto, um <\/b>colega de trabalho<\/b><\/a>, or a family member, even if you\u2019re afraid that they\u2019ll be too harsh.<\/b><\/p>\n

Afinal de contas, \u00e9 exatamente disso que precisa: Uma verdade dura de um ente querido. Precisas de algu\u00e9m que te tire os \u00f3culos cor-de-rosa e te fa\u00e7a encarar a realidade. <\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t mean that they should tell you what to do with your own life or that you should listen to them blindly. Instead, they\u2019re just there to offer you a fresh point of view. <\/p>\n

Just be careful about the ones you tell your secrets to. If you\u2019re not sure whether you have loyal people around you, ask for professional advice. <\/p>\n

N\u00e3o h\u00e1 vergonha nenhuma em falar com um terapeuta sobre coisas que o incomodam. <\/p>\n

Another great piece of advice is to try walking in your victim’s shoes. Put yourself in their position and look at things from their perspective.<\/p>\n

What do you do when someone hurts you? What’s your first instinct when someone causes you heartbreak? What can they do to fix things? <\/p>\n

Do \u201cthe friend test\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Another great thing you can do is \u201cthe friend test\u201d. This will help you detach from the situation and make it possible for you to move in the right direction.<\/p>\n

Imagine that your friend has the same problem you currently have. They come to you and tell you that they\u2019ve hurt someone they care for deeply. <\/p>\n

They want their forgiveness but don\u2019t know how to get it. They\u2019re also beating themselves up for their mistake. <\/p>\n

Pedem o seu conselho porque confiam em si e consideram-no uma pessoa s\u00e1bia e inteligente. O que \u00e9 que lhes diria?<\/p>\n

Aposto que arranjaria imediatamente uma solu\u00e7\u00e3o. Aconselhava-os sobre como abordar a v\u00edtima e dava-lhes os passos exactos que est\u00e3o listados aqui. <\/p>\n

N\u00e3o s\u00f3 isso, mas tamb\u00e9m estarias cheio de compreens\u00e3o pelo teu melhor amigo<\/a>. Independentemente do que fizessem, chamar-lhes-ia a aten\u00e7\u00e3o para as suas ac\u00e7\u00f5es e mostraria tamb\u00e9m compaix\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

A \u00faltima coisa a fazer \u00e9 piorar ainda mais as coisas, julgando-as e atacando-as. Em vez disso, dir-lhes-ia para n\u00e3o serem t\u00e3o duros com eles pr\u00f3prios e para n\u00e3o deixarem que a culpa os coma vivos.<\/p>\n

Ent\u00e3o, o que \u00e9 que o impede exatamente de se tratar da mesma forma? Afinal de contas, devias amar-te mais a ti pr\u00f3prio do que a qualquer amigo neste mundo. <\/p>\n

Por conseguinte, por favor, sigam os conselhos que dariam aos vossos filhos <\/b>melhor amigo<\/b> e aplic\u00e1-lo a si pr\u00f3prio. <\/b><\/p>\n

Aprender com o seu mau comportamento<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Finally, even though you can\u2019t change what you\u2019ve done, you certainly can learn from it. Instead of lamenting your past, walk away from it with a li\u00e7\u00e3o dura mas valiosa<\/a>.<\/p>\n

O que fizeste foi t\u00f3xico. You broke someone\u2019s heart and your actions hurt their feelings. <\/b><\/p>\n

However, that doesn\u2019t mean that you should turn this into patterns of <\/b>mau comportamento<\/b>. Em vez de permitir que isso se torne um h\u00e1bito, aprenda com os seus erros.<\/b><\/p>\n

Promise yourself that that was the last time you displayed that selfish behavior and that from now on, you’ll think about the possible consequences of your actions. <\/p>\n

Tell yourself that that was the last time you didn’t show compassion and that from now on, you\u2019ll always take other people\u2019s feelings into account. <\/p>\n

Para ser sincero, quando se magoa algu\u00e9m, \u00e9 prov\u00e1vel que se leve muito tempo a recuperar a confian\u00e7a dessa pessoa e a colar de novo a rela\u00e7\u00e3o quebrada. <\/p>\n

That\u2019s why you have to start this moment. Show them that you care and that you\u2019re ready to do whatever it takes to come back into their life. Good luck!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Being heartbroken by someone you love is hard. However, if you’re not a bad person or a narcissist, you can also go through a tough time when you hurt someone else.  That is exactly what’s going on with you right now. The guilt is killing you because you’re aware of your harmful actions. It doesn’t…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":99903,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29637],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-99899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-hacks"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29637,"label":"life hacks"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/9-Things-To-Do-When-You-Hurt-Someone.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29637,"name":"life hacks","slug":"life-hacks","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29637,"taxonomy":"category","description":"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade, and allow these life hacks to remind you of your strength, potential, and the right to be happy.","parent":22911,"count":281,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29637,"category_count":281,"category_description":"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade, and allow these life hacks to remind you of your strength, potential, and the right to be happy.","cat_name":"life hacks","category_nicename":"life-hacks","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=99899"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99899\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/99903"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=99899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=99899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=99899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}