The first few months of a relationship are truly the best. Nothing can compare to the bliss you’re feeling when you’re with this new, amazing person and you’re discovering all the fun stuff about each other and every day feels like a new adventure.
The honeymoon phase seems never-ending and everything is just so chill and adventurous! But you have to remember, you’re not only in it for the good, fun stuff.
You’re possibly with a person who’s going to be a big part of your life in the long run, so it’s important to ask those big, uncomfortable questions that will burst your happy bubble and bring you back down to reality.
I know the thought of that doesn’t seem appealing but in order to know if you’re now wasting your time with a guy who’s going to leave at the first sign of trouble, you need to delve a little deeper and really get to know the important stuff. That is the only way for you to move forward and know that you’re with the right guy.
Not knowing these things could be the death of your relationship eventually, so it’s time to stop putting this off and find out these 5 important things about him:
1. How do you feel about having kids?
Having this conversation seems a pretty obvious thing to get into but you need to make sure that having kids isn’t a deal-breaker. It is not uncommon that one partner might change their mind and it eventually ruins the relationship. You need to know that you’re on the same page, so that once you’re deeply in love, it doesn’t come between you two.
Make sure you know where he stands and that he won’t change his mind in a few months or years, because that could be a very painful thing to experience.
2. What do you envision for your future?
It is important that this man sees a future with you. You don’t want to find out that you are just a fun fling and that he’s not really interested in anything serious; that would be devastating. So it’s better to make sure there is a joint future there, before moving forward and falling more in love. Know where you stand in his mind.
3. What are the things you would never tolerate?
Everybody has their own wants, needs and preferences. It is crucial that you know the things he would never be on board with from the get-go, so you know what you’re getting yourself into.
Find out what his deal-breakers are and evaluate if they are things you agree with and can live with for the foreseeable future. Then you will know if this is still worth pursuing.
4. What are your priorities?
It’s okay if he’s still figuring himself out but make sure you find out what he prioritizes in life in order to know that it’s not always going to be a certain way. Tell him what’s important to you in life and what you plan on working on the most and discuss how you can intertwine both your priorities into a joint, happy life.
You don’t want to find out all he wants to do is sit at home in front of the TV, while all you want to do is go on adventures, visiting places and seeking new experiences in life; that would eventually be the end of you two, so discuss it before it’s too late.
5. What are your thoughts on religion and social issues?
Everybody is raised a certain way and taught to believe certain things. It is really important to be upfront about these important things if you’re planning a joint future.
You need to know how you would raise your children, with regards to both religion and what values you will instill in them. You need to be on the same page, in order for this to work.
Otherwise, it’s going to be a lot of bickering, fights and grudges. It’s better to let it all out in the beginning before you seriously hurt each other with your opposing beliefs. Don’t let it come to blows and instead see where you both stand on those crucial subjects.