The thing is, the more you try to get away from them and the more you’re thinking about how to avoid them, it seems they are more drawn to you.
You’re not imagining things, it’s true. They are really drawn to your behavior. And this is why…
Toxic people enjoy chaos. Toxic people love when things are not okay. They feed themselves on your negative energy and your stress. So, it’s logical they will try hard to provoke you and completely mess you up because that is the state they enjoy to be surrounded by.
Toxic people will try to suck you into their orbit and try to make you act the way it suits them the best. If you are in any kind of relationship with a toxic person but especially in a romantic relationship with a toxic man, no matter what you do, nothing will ever be enough.
Nothing will ever satisfy a toxic man. And dating one is only going to make you feel worthless and lousy.
The good thing is that all of us realize we’ve been played with and all of us get out sooner or later. The problem is that not everyone sees the toxic behavior of a person, or better said, a toxic man in a relationship, right at the beginning.
So, after so many emotions appear in the relationship, it’s so hard to leave. You can’t be indifferent after some time in a relationship, even with a toxic person.
It’s true, you’ll leave, but you’ll get hurt and you’ll need a lot of time to recover and trust someone again.
To prevent this from happening and to avoid these painful healing stages, you have to know how to behave when dealing with a toxic man to get him out of your life ASAP.
1. Try to just walk away
There is no point in arguing with a toxic person. You know that one way or another, they are somehow going to be right. They will get their way one way or another.
Sometimes the purpose of the discussion is not discussion and the subject itself but just to annoy you. And if you are better than them in the subject they choose to attack you with, they will change it without you even noticing.
So at the end of your conversation, you’ll fight about something totally unrelated to what you started talking about.
It’s how they manipulate you and make you crazy. It’s how they feed off of your bad energy they are causing.
What to do: In these situations, the best thing you can do is just walk away. Let them think whatever they want to think and even agree if you have to. Because some of them may threaten you so you have to participate in the conversation.
If you’re with someone who acts that way, then just say yes to everything they say. If you have the ability to walk away, then walk away. It will piss them off because you denied them the negative energy they were seeking to provoke in you.
2. Don’t make excuses for toxic behavior
I’ve seen this millions of times. When you are in a relationship, you love the person you’re with. You love them despite everything because let’s face it, no one is perfect, we all make mistakes.
But the problem is when you get to the point where you don’t know how much of anything you can take anymore. Where is the line drawn that says these are the quirks and flaws which are okay, which are acceptable, and these are the quirks that border psychotic behavior?
Where to draw the line?
What to do: The most important thing is to be honest with yourself. You have nothing to lose and nothing to be afraid of.
If you keep pretending that everything he’s doing to you is okay and if you keep lying to yourself that it’s not a big deal, you’re only encouraging him and showing him that you’ll put up with his behavior.
This will make him continue torturing you and sucking you dry, because toxic people don’t know when to stop and maybe they even do but they don’t want to.
Stop this at the beginning because you’ll be doing yourself a favor. Either way, you won’t be able to put up with this toxicity and it’s better to break it off at the beginning than later when more serious emotions are involved.
3. Get some alone time
Toxic men consume you and slowly take your time and turn it into their time. Sooner than you know, your life turns into serving him, thinking about him and worrying what’s he’s going to say.
That is his purpose, to make himself the center of your universe and your top priority. This is completely out of the question and completely unacceptable.
What to do: No matter how much you love someone, you can never make them a priority. I know this sounds harsh and selfish but it’s actually not. It’s completely healthy and sane.
You love someone and you’ll do anything for them. But you’re not going to turn into them and lose yourself completely. You want to stay true to yourself and never lose your identity.
Toxic people want you to lose your identity. They want you to become insecure and weak so they make sure you never leave them.
If you see that the person you love is starting to act this way, stop him right away and let him know that you are not going to devote your whole life to him. If they have no problem with that, they’ll stay. If they do, they’ll leave but then losing that kind of person won’t be such a shame.
4. Set your boundaries straight
Toxic people will push you to your limits. They will be persistent just to see how far you are willing to take things. They will test how far they can go.
Now this only depends on you. If you let them, they will use you.
What to do: Set your boundaries straight and never let them go where they are not allowed. This way, you’re respecting and protecting yourself at the same time.
When you let them know that there are things you’re not going to put up with, they are not going to go there. If they do, you know that you have to leave, to make sure you don’t get hurt.
5. Never take the smile off of your face
Remember, toxic people feed themselves with negative energy. They are emotional vampires who just enjoy chaos and suffering. They adore pain but not when they are feeling it—when people around them are feeling it.
I guess that seeing other people hurting makes them feel better and superior to them. It settles down their insecurities, which they have a lot of. You may think that they are all together and strong but actually they are weak, little people.
In fact, they are scared of you and your strength and they will do anything in their power to mess you up and turn you into a scared, little being they can easily control.
What to do: This advice goes for all the situations you find yourself in with a toxic person. They can’t stand happiness and peace. Those are surroundings they can’t stay very long in.
So no matter what you do and with whom you’re with, whether it’s a toxic boyfriend, neighbor, friend, parent or relative, just smile and stay positive. That is the strongest weapon you have and that is something that will chase them away the fastest.
Remember, you are the one who sets the rules, not him.