Are men really jerks, or do they just act like ones?

Well, most of them who act like it are really idiots, but there are men who just pretend they don’t give a fuck because they are hiding something. 

I can’t quite figure out why they do it, but it’s true. I’ve been surrounded with men my whole life. Enough to see right through them. I’m not saying I’m an expert on the whole male psychology thing, but I think I’ve cracked a code or two on why men act like jerks when in fact they are nothing like that. 

Most of us think that men are not so complicated, but they are—more complicated than you can imagine. 

You see, when a woman has a problem, she’ll reach out to a friend or a family member and she’ll get it out of her system. She’ll talk it out, get a bit of advice or support, whatever she needs the most and she’ll move on. She’s not going to keep it all bottled up, go out and get hammered to ‘deal’ with her troubles. She’s not going to turn into a repulsive jerk and hurt other innocent people. 

No. Men do that. 

It’s easy for us, women because in a way we are labeled as the emotional ones, with no problems when it comes to expressing our feelings. While on the other hand, men are expected to be all macho and brave. They are expected to handle everything with ease, with no emotional attachment.

But, think again. 

Of course, men are as emotional as women are. They ARE humans, right? They just have a strange way of dealing with their struggles and deep emotions.

These behaviors of theirs label them as jerks, when actually they are just grieving and trying to find a way to cope with all that’s bothering them.

Here are some signs every man who struggles with his deep emotions projects, through being a total jerk:

1. He is shutting you down completely.

You get the feeling he’s starting to distance himself. You’re right. That is his way of dealing with his deep emotions, his inner struggle. He will never admit he’s upset because he thinks it will make him a wuss in your eyes. And he doesn’t want to lose his ‘I’m a big macho man’ attitude—not in front of you.

When he’s feeling a bit down, he will send you a bunch of mixed signals which you are supposed to interpret. And not to mention that you’re supposed to interpret them the right way. You’re supposed to read his mind and get that he is upset. 

2. He has a ‘bad boy’ attitude

He appears to be angry and short-tempered all the time. Everything seems to bother him, so women label him as a jerk—when he’s actually not. You know he is not like that. You can see that he’s changed. All this behavior is triggered by trying to deal with emotions. It’s his defense mechanism. It’s the only way he can cope with his problems. 

He is using that bad behavior whenever he feels exposed. But, underneath all that he is a ‘goodie-goodie’ waiting to spill out everything that is on his mind. 

See also: 7 Simple Reasons Girls Love Bad Boys

3. He’s partying all the time

Man at a concert with his hands raised up

Men usually become party animals whenever something troubles them, but especially if they broke up with someone. It’s their way of showing they don’t care, that they are better off without them, and that it’s time to move on to the next girl. it’s their way to deal pretty much everything. They think if they get hammered, they’ll forget what is going on in their lives. And they do, but the next morning, everything is the same. 

But, what’s really at stake is that deep inside they are hurting. They are missing their partners or some other issue is on their minds but they won’t ever show their vulnerable sides to anyone. They won’t ever admit they’ve been hurt.

4. He’s an adrenaline junkie

He needs to dare life just to feel the excitement. He needs to dare life just to distract himself from thinking about something else—maybe a woman who broke his heart or a problem he’s facing. 

He needs his adrenaline rush to let go of the pain someone caused him—it will be either adrenaline or sorrow running through his veins.

5. His jokes are inappropriate

He really takes rude joke-telling a bit too far. He has no sense of when telling a certain joke is appropriate or not. Sometimes, you just want to punch him right in the face because he’s being a complete asshole.

But on the other hand, you have to understand him. It’s is his way of dealing with deep emotions. We all have our ways. His is rude and off-putting, but at the end of the day, it’s a simple defense mechanism.

Men have their own ways of dealing with emotions and you should respect that.  

So, before you break up with them, see if they are just plain jerks or they are hiding behind jerk masks to cope with broken emotions.