What is the difference between love and infatuation?
If you want to get an answer to your question and find out whether your relationship is actually just an emotional hustle or the real deal, first you have to know the difference between love and infatuation.
Infatuation is not permanent. It’s that short-lasting feeling connected with slight obsession. It’s only passion that fades away after some time. It’s easy to confuse that feeling with love.
But if you dig a bit deeper and ask yourself if you really care about that person and whether he cares about you or not, you’ll get the answer to your question. If you don’t, at least it will get you thinking.
The honeymoon phase may fool even the best out there but because of that, there are some wake-up calls which will warn you that your relationship is not what you expected it to be.
By going through each and every one of these signs, you’ll know if you’re living in a fantasy world and you’re not seeing things clearly. If all of this is true, then you just have to make peace with the fact that he is not the man for you.
Maybe it’s his fault, maybe it’s yours, but the important thing is to walk away before you get seriously hurt.
1. Someone is needy
Either you or he is needy. Someone asks for too much too soon. Either he doesn’t or you don’t let the other one breathe. It’s understandable that you want to spend so much time with your partner, especially because the relationship is still in its beginnings.
But if either of you becomes your partner’s center of their world, then it starts to be unhealthy. If you don’t give each other some space to be alone with your thoughts, then neediness is present.
Neediness is not that dangerous in the beginning but over time it can be the number one reason why you want out from your relationship.
2. Fight or love?
Even at the start, you’re fighting a lot. Neither of you wants to make a compromise and you’re both stubborn. You may be adding this to the passion and the fact that you’re two individuals, which is a good thing.
But it’s also bad because if you don’t find common ground to stand on, you’ll never be satisfied. And as all other problems, this one will escalate in the future and turn what might have become true love into resentment and hatred.
3. You’re fake
When you go outside, you’re happy and when you stay at home, you almost kill each other. Don’t you think that needing someone else around you is the key to your happiness? Because when you’re surrounded by other people, you function perfectly fine, but when you’re alone, you start fighting.
That is definitely a fake relationship and you should wake up from the fantasy you’re living in and rather be single than with someone who won’t make you happy.
4. You’re codependent
You want to spend time together. You’re trying really hard to keep things on the good side. Sometimes even too hard. You mimic each other, you act like each other, because you don’t want to risk not being liked.
You do everything together and from the outside, this looks cute and it looks like love, but it’s actually not. It can easily turn into an unhealthy relationship.
5. Jealousy is always present
Not only that just one of you is jealous, but you both are and it bothers you when he’s jealous around you. When a girl calls him or asks him out for a drink, you get instantly jealous and you want to know everything about her.
And when a guy approaches you, he goes crazy. He may not tell you directly that he’s jealous but you’ll be able to see it from the way he behaves. Jealousy can be cute but it’s also dangerous because it can grow into possessiveness.
Also, it’s a huge red flag telling the both of you that you don’t trust each other. You’re still not sure that either of you will leave or cheat on the other one.
6. Your sex life is deteriorating
The sex was perfect in the beginning and if it doesn’t get even better, then you have something to be worried about. Wild, passionate sex is great, but it’s not better than the emotional kind.
What can always be better than just having sex is actually making love to the person you love. Exchanging deep feelings and completely trusting your partner beats everything else. If you don’t have that, you’re in denial.
7. You try changing each other
You don’t even know each other entirely and you’re already trying to change each other. The chemistry between two people is enough at the beginning to bring you close together. It’s that initial thing you need to have to feel connected to each other.
But when that chemistry stars fading and you start getting to know each other and right there and then you’re not satisfied with the person your partner is, there is no point in trying to change them. Firstly, because no one can change if they don’t want to and secondly, they won’t be the person you fell in love with.
8. Better becomes worse
Finally, if everything becomes harder and worse, and you’re still convincing yourself that you’re meant to be together, you’re living in denial and it will cost you in the end.
You’ll get hurt when things culminate and get out of proportion. You won’t be able to keep everything together because it will drain you emotionally and destroy you, even physically.
In the end, you’re going to give up, feeling angry and regretting that you didn’t do it at the beginning when you still had a chance to walk out with no consequences.
Hi everyone!! I’m Maria, but all of my friends call me Mare (meaning the sea in Italian). I was born and raised by the sea in a small town in the Mediterranean. I’m an “accidental” writer and a passionate singer. Alongside with being a mom, I spend my free time doing gigs which my friends never miss. I think that family and friends are the most valuable thing you can have in your life. That is what I see every day when I look at my son and the loving people around me. Would you like to join my little group and become my friend, too?