Whether we like to admit it or not, at some point in our lives, or even right now, we have settled for less than we deserve. We have settled for half-assed man and half-assed relationships. They were simply not good enough but we stayed anyway—out of love or out of habit. We settled and we weren’t happy.
Think about it: when you are with somebody you love you, would go out of your way to make that person happy? Why don’t we have the same expectations when it comes to ourselves? Why do we agree to spend time with somebody who doesn’t have our best interests at heart?
Keeping in touch and texting you wasn’t a problem at the beginning of the relationship but these days, the texts have become more sporadic. He always has some lame excuses why he sucks at keeping in touch even though he knows he should.
He has time for everyone and everything but you. You went from seeing each other a couple of times a week to barely once a week. He is always too busy. He promised he would help a friend with something, etc. Basically every time you ask to see him he is unavailable but when it suits him, when he needs you, when he finds it convenient, he is there.
You hardly ever go out anymore. He simply doesn’t want to. He seems uninterested in anything you would like to do—not to mention that he thinks the world revolves around him, so every time he has a problem he shares it with you. And he expects you to be there to support him. Every time you have something you would like to get off your chest, he is not really paying attention or he is just about to fall asleep.
You try to be more understanding, more supportive, more giving, more loving. You bend over backward to make him happy. And whatever you do and no matter how hard you try, it’s never enough. In his eyes, you are never enough. You are unreasonable. You want too much. You ask for too much.
When the reality is that he is not enough for you. He is the one who is being unreasonable, thinking that you are there just so he can take as much as he wants and not give anything in return. What you are asking from him is not too much. It’s normal that you expect to get as much as you are giving. Love is not one-sided. It’s a give and take thing which requires involvement from both sides. You know this. You know you are more than enough. So why do you stay then?
I know you hope things will change. He will come around and be the man he was when you first met. The giving and attentive man you once admired. But he’s not going to change and you know that deep down. He is going to stay the same man who is taking you for granted. He might only get worse.
Don’t stay when you realize it’s not working. Don’t settle for somebody who doesn’t want to make you happy. Don’t settle for somebody selfish who only takes from you without giving anything in return. Stop waiting around for him to come to his senses—he probably never will. You are somebody’s dream come true and you are wasting your time on somebody unworthy of you.