You’ve manipulated me and played me for so long. For 3 years I’ve trusted you. For 3 years I’ve lied to myself that you’re going to change. For 3 years I’ve been unhappy.

You made me a prisoner of love. You didn’t love me, you didn’t cherish me, but you didn’t let me go. You kept me for yourself, and you denied me the love someone else could have given me.

But I cannot dwell on my past. I cannot change what has happened. I can only hope that I will never go through it again.

Every woman has to get her heart broken at least once in her lifetime. I hope you were my lesson I had to learn. I hope you were the only one in my life privileged to break my heart and walk away.

One of the things that comforts me is that I don’t have to answer to you anymore. You’re not keeping me all for yourself anymore. You were kind enough to let me go. A bit late, but not too late.

I don’t hold it against you. I’m just happy that I get to finally decide what’s good for me. I finally get to decide who I like and who I want to fall in love with. I’m not going to live in the past and mourn things that I cannot change.

What you did to me has nothing to do with me. I finally get that. You’ve lied to me, you’ve cheated on me, and I don’t want revenge. I don’t want you to feel the pain I felt because I’m not a vengeful person. I don’t want to hate anybody. I just want you out of my life.  

I get that your sneaky bastard-like behavior had nothing to do with me or my actions. I get that it all came from you and your dissatisfaction. You were convinced that the whole world was against you. You thought none of your friends cared for you.

You’ve built huge walls around yourself, and you’ve shut everyone out. You’ve hurt the people who kept coming back. You’ve made people who care for you cry. And you never realized you were the problem.

I thought it was all me. I thought I was doing something wrong. Not only did I think that but you’ve also made sure I believe it. You never had the courage to see your doings and face your mistakes. You always blamed it on someone else.

Because of your suffering and your insecurities, I’ve hurt the people I love. I’ve rejected so many invitations, and I wasn’t there when my friends needed me. Every time someone reached out to me, I chose you because you manipulated me into staying. You didn’t want to share me with anybody. You wanted to keep me only for yourself.

I realized that I wasn’t happy around you anymore. I realized that I’ve changed, or better yet, that you’ve changed me. I wasn’t the same old happy person I was before. I had dark circles around my eyes, popping out of a dull pale face. I wasn’t who I used to be.

You turned me into a person I cannot recognize, and I couldn’t allow you to wipe me out. I couldn’t allow myself to become just like you.

You masked your manipulation, and you called yourself my friend. But friends don’t do that to each other. Friends don’t use each other as their doormats, as their tools to vent their bad energy.

Friends don’t make fun of each other, and they don’t put each other down just to be funny around others.

I don’t want you to suffer. I don’t want revenge. I want you to come to your senses and try to make amends for everything bad you’ve done. I want you to feel remorse, and I want you to feel ashamed.

I wish you a happy life because I’m happy, too, and I know there are so many beautiful things coming my way.

Even Though You've Hurt Me, I Don't Want Revenge

Maria Parker

Hi everyone!! I’m Maria, but all of my friends call me Mare (meaning the sea in Italian). I was born and raised by the sea in a small town in the Mediterranean. I’m an “accidental” writer and a passionate singer. Alongside with being a mom, I spend my free time doing gigs which my friends never miss. I think that family and friends are the most valuable thing you can have in your life. That is what I see every day when I look at my son and the loving people around me. Would you like to join my little group and become my friend, too?

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