If the reality ever sets in and it gets to you that you don’t have her anymore, if you ever wonder why things turned out the way they did, if you ever realize that you actually miss her, and if you ever care enough to wonder why you don’t have her anymore, try to think what you did that made the girl that actually wanted to be yours give up on you.
You don’t have her anymore because she got tired of your games.
She got tired of you holding her at arm’s length but never showing that you actually want her closer. She got tired of you ignoring her calls just to show up on her newsfeed a minute later. She got tired of you telling her how much you like her but never putting your money where your mouth is.
You don’t have her anymore because she felt you stopped caring.
You stopped asking how her day went. You stopped asking how she feels. You stopped making plans. You stopped calling often just to hear her voice and you started making excuses. You started saying how you’ve got too much on your plate. You started making excuses and canceling plans last minute or not even bothering to cancel but just deciding not to show up at all.
You don’t have her anymore because she realized that if she held on a bit longer, it would just break her to pieces.
She realized that if she held on a bit longer it would kill her. It would just go against her values to give her blood and sweat for somebody who just didn’t care. If she was going to be the one to pull all the strings, then why does she need you to begin with?
She wanted to be with somebody who made her feel wanted.
She needed to have somebody who would choose her every day, who would make an effort to be her. She wanted somebody who’d genuinely care. She never wanted your car or your bank account—she wanted you. Your soul, heart, and body shared with her and her soul, heart, and body shared with you. It wasn’t too much to ask.
Maybe you’d care enough to give her all she needed now, but now is too late.
She wanted to be with somebody who made her feel wanted, loved and worth it. You were not that man.
When the reality sets in, when you get that you don’t have her anymore, only then you’ll be able to wrap your mind around what you once had and you don’t have anymore.
When you wake up in a cold bed or next to some other girl, it will kill you to feel the coldness of your bed or warmth of some other girl that isn’t her.
When you realize that you miss her, when you realize she is a ‘once in a lifetime’ girl, she will have already moved on by then.
If you ever wonder why you don’t have her anymore, it will be the first time you cared to have her in your life.