If you want to act bossy and complain about everything I do and I am, I can go there. If you really want to make decisions for me, it’s fine. I just have a few small requests or conditions and after that, you’re in charge of whatever you want to be in charge of.
If you’re so jealous of my friends, I’ll stop hanging around with them. No more chatting, no more FaceTiming, no more going out, no more trips with them—I’m giving it all up.
But you’ll have to compensate for them. You’ll have to be there for me whenever I need something. You’ll be the one to listen to my drama. You’ll be the one to stop whatever you’re doing (no matter how important it may be) and come to take care of me.
You’ll listen to my endless bullshit, you’ll laugh the loudest at my jokes even though you’ve heard them already. And you’ll never get to be bored by any of this. You’ll go shopping with me and you’ll try on dresses with me, help me chose my makeup, and everything else best friends do.
If I can’t go out anymore, I won’t go out anymore. I won’t go drinking or partying and you won’t see any photos of me online with other people. There is no ‘beer after work’ habit—I’m straight home.
But you’ll be waiting for me at home. You’ll be the one staying in every night with me and you’ll be the one holding my head whenever I drink too much. You’ll listen to my drunk talks and you also won’t get permission to go out. If that’s how you want to play, we’ll play like that.
If I can’t do things for myself, you’ll be the one doing them. You’ll fulfill my wishes and it’ll take up way too much time for you. If you’re so worried about what’s up at my hairdresser’s— whether he’s hitting on me (even though you know he’s gay)—you’ll be with me while he’s doing my hair, explaining to him how you’re silly jealous. I don’t want to be embarrassed at your outbursts, so do sit there embarrassed for yourself.
If you’re so worried I might be seducing somebody at my work, I’ll quit working. I can do that for you.
But then you’ll be the one to treat me like the queen. You’ll challenge me to grow. You’ll make me an expert in my field of interest. You’ll be the one to sponsor all my trips, holidays—you’ll buy me every single thing I’d normally buy for myself and you won’t complain about a damn thing.
You won’t complain because that’s what you asked for. You won’t leave me when I get moody. You won’t get bored of my endless drama. You won’t get fed up with me and you won’t feel like you’re choking because you wanted to lock us in and keep us in this loop.
But you fail to understand this kind of relationship just won’t work. One person can’t be the replacement for all those who helped me build my life and turned me into the person I am today. The things I get every day can’t be replaced by one person. You can’t handle a strong woman and her needs because you’ll either tame the beast and stop liking me, or I’ll walk away—and we’ll both be left empty-handed.
What I suggest you do is to try to love me the way I am now. Accept me with all my flaws and imperfections because only then do you get to see the other side of me. Stop putting me in your box—instead, broaden your horizons. If you can’t do that, we can’t make it.
I wasn’t made to fit in—I was made to stand out.