It’s very rare to meet someone who hasn’t had a bad experience when it comes to dating. Sadly, the world of dating is super complicated. Finding a match can be taxing—especially when there are a host of cheaters, liars and fuckboys pretending to be nice guys to try and steal your heart.

See also: I Was On 50 DATES In One Year And This Is What I FOUND OUT About MEN

Indeed, dating someone who treats you like shit is almost a rite of passage on your path to finding love. However, being treated like shit isn’t always the worst thing in the long run.

We know this sounds crazy, but hear us out. This is why you need to date someone who treats you like shit.

Dating someone who treats you like shit is one of the hardest things in the world.

When you date someone who doesn’t appreciate you, you spend your entire time doubting yourself. When you date someone who cheats on you, you’ll feel like you’re not good enough. When you date someone who doesn’t call, you’ll learn to overthink things to the nth degree.

When you date someone who’s mean to you, you begin to hide your feelings because you don’t want to show them that you’re hurt. When you date someone who hides you from his friends and family, you’ll begin to constantly wonder what it is you did wrong.

You need to find someone who treats you like shit—and you need to date them. You need to date someone that makes all of your friends and family question your actions. You should date someone who constantly brings you down. You need to find someone who cancels plans and never, under any circumstances, puts you first.

You should date someone who never makes an effort to contact you. Someone who only calls when it’s 3 am and someone who uses you. You should date someone who picks out all of your flaws and makes a point of telling you them. You should date someone who controls you and tells you what you can and can’t do.

You need to date someone who treats you terribly, and yet still, you can’t tear yourself away. Someone who makes you justify their behaviour, and you do, because you’re the only one who knows the real them—or at least that’s what you think.

Why do you need to date someone who treats you like shit?

Because once you’ve experienced the heartbreak of dating someone who treats you like shit, once you’ve picked yourself up and put the pieces of your heart back together, once you can finally look back at the experience without all the pain and anger—then, the real lesson comes.

Dating someone who treats you like shit will show you exactly how strong you are. It will show you what YOU need in a relationship. It will show you what you deserve. Dating someone who treats you like shit will hurt like hell, but it will make you better, stronger and so much more self-aware.

Recovering from dating someone who treated you like shit will be hard but you will learn that they were wrong. You are so much better. You deserve so much better. You will get so much better.

Dating someone who treats you like shit will help you ensure that you NEVER settle for less than you deserve ever again. You’ll know exactly what you want, but more importantly—what you deserve.

Date someone who treats you like shit, and then never settle for anything less than what you deserve ever again.

See also: This Is What I Learned From Dating A Narcissistic Guy