When you fall hard for a person and aren’t very secure in yourself to begin with, it is easy to forget about your own thoughts and needs and put someone else’s above your own.
If this keeps happening and you don’t learn to change it, you can unknowingly alter yourself and your entire identity, slowly losing yourself in the process. It is one thing to be supportive of your partner’s hobbies, opinions and decisions, but it is completely different to lose yourself and part of your identity. Your quirks are what makes you YOU.
A relationship should be your safe place; a place where you can be who you are, openly and honestly, without fear of rejection or disapproval. One who loves you is supposed to love you for who you are. Flaws and all. Remember that.
If you see yourself slowly morphing into something you no longer feel you know, pause. Stop and think for a moment. Who am I? Am I still the same person from before? Or did I just learn to adapt to someone else’s wants and needs? Think long and hard. If the answer to any of these is ‘No’, then you need to have a serious conversation with yourself.
If you start losing yourself and start doing what is wanted and expected of you by your partner more often than not, you risk losing the very thing he fell in love in the first place! And more importantly, you risk losing the person you ARE.
As beautiful as it is to be part of a healthy and fulfilling relationship, it is also important (in order to stay true to yourself) to separate yourselves from time to time. Both you and your partner. I’m sure you both have things in life that interest you individually which the other one isn’t very into (and that’s okay!). Great! That is an excellent way to keep your core intact and go off and do something for yourself. ONLY for yourself.
You will remember how happy that particular thing makes you, and you will realize that being with your significant other doesn’t DEFINE you. It’s only a PART of who you are.
Venturing out and doing things you love, by yourself, can only make you happier with yourself and strengthen your relationship with your partner. By doing your own things and accepting that it is okay to do stuff outside of the relationship, you remind yourself that you CAN be happy even when on your own. But luckily, you have your partner to return to, which is a double plus.
By staying true to you and doing what makes you happy, regardless of what anyone thinks of it, you also have a great topic of conversation. You might be into something that your partner doesn’t really get or is intimidated by (maybe an adventurous hobby?) which is a great opportunity to make him see why you love it so much and explain why you need it in your life.
It is also a great bonding experience. When your guy sees how passionate you are about something you love so much, he will only love you more for it. It is truly beautiful to see someone light up when talking about something that means a great deal to them.
But if you have a partner who doesn’t understand or even let you do your own thing, than you have a problem. See, it is important in a relationship to stay true to yourself. You should NEVER feel the need to explain yourself to anyone, especially about something that you love! If you want to dress a certain way – your prerogative. If you have an opinion that differs from his – your prerogative!
If you want to change something about yourself, do it for you, and you only. Nobody else should be a factor in it. Never lose sight of who you are, trading yourself for someone who asks you to sacrifice your passions to appease his selfish wishes.
You are your own boss. If you see someone trying to tell you otherwise, they don’t belong in your life.
Those who love you will love everything about you, and you will never feel the need for change.