“In this world, there are things you can only do alone, and things you can only do with somebody else. It’s important to combine the two in just the right amount.” – Murakami ‘After Dark’

 

A lot of times people tend to lose themselves when they are in love. Everything becomes about the other person. They adjust their time, their space, their aspirations, even their mindset to fit in with somebody they care about. They lose the sense of who they are.

Generally speaking, compromise is a good thing when you are in a relationship. You should adjust some things slightly, but don’t overdo it.

Sometimes, you can agree about things. At other times, you might disagree. Sometimes, you’ll want to do the same thing and at other times, you won’t. That’s normal. You are not the same person. You are two different individuals whose main thing they have in common is caring for each other.

So, you can make things work by having your own world and having somebody who will be very important part of that world. You should have things you do together and you should both have things that are just yours.

Let’s face it. If you are too clingy, if you can’t stand being apart from your special someone even just for a day, you are making things boring. You will suffocate the other person. They will end up leaving you because you are not the person they met.

You were you when you guys met. He fell for you just the way you are. There was never a need to transform yourself completely into somebody he doesn’t even recognize now.

Don’t let your dreams float away because you are in love. Your wishes, personal and career goals, and values are important. Each and every one of them is a small part that makes you ‘you’.

You will have a better and healthier relationship because of them.

Of course, there are things you can only do together. There is no one you would rather spend your time with. You should cherish that.  You have your own way of doing small but meaningful things—your own way of making conversation, listening, making fun of each other, giving encouragement and support.

And the things that make a relationship different from friendship—the perks of a relationship: kissing, holding hands, hugging, cuddling, passion…

Even when you find the balance between your individual time and your together time, you will have some obstacles down that road. Life can never go smoothly—that’s part of its charms. You are going to have ups and downs. You’re going to make mistakes, fight, then listen, forgive, kiss and makeup.

That’s what makes a relationship great.