Relationships come to an end. People walk away from each other. They fall out of love or grow tired of the other person. All of that is a part of life.
And she understands this. She understands that at one point, you stopped loving her. Or maybe you never loved her enough but it took you years to realize that?
She understands that you obviously didn’t see a future with her and that you didn’t want to stay by her side any longer. So, she doesn’t blame you for leaving her.
But she does blame you for the way you did it. She does blame you for all the things you did to her before you walked away from her life for good. She does blame you for all the pain you caused her, even though it could have been avoided.
She does blame you for breaking her heart and for crushing her to pieces. Because you know very well that it was the last thing she deserved.
She didn’t deserve you treating her the way you did. She didn’t deserve you not being man enough and not taking responsibility for your actions. She didn’t deserve the fights, the emotional abuse and the fact that you tried to make her feel guilty for everything that went wrong between the two of you.
She didn’t deserve you taking her for granted or treating her like your backup plan, nor you counting on the fact she’d always be someone you could go back to, when everyone else left you or if everything else failed.
This girl didn’t deserve you abandoning her when she needed you the most. She didn’t deserve to waste years on you when you knew all along that you could never be the man she deserved to have by her side.
She didn’t deserve you cheating on her or lying to her. And she certainly didn’t deserve you emotionally scarring her for life.
She didn’t deserve you convincing her that she wasn’t meant to be loved and losing all faith and trust in everyone around her. She didn’t deserve you spiritually killing her or making her doubt herself and her worth.
You know very well that this girl gave you everything she had, without asking for anything in return. You know that she wore her heart on her sleeve and that she loved you the way no one else in your life ever will.
You know that she was ready to move mountains for your sake, while you never lifted a finger for her. That she was the one putting all the effort in and the one making all the sacrifices. The only one who fought for this relationship, while you were ready to give up on it so easily.
And this was how you repaid her? By walking away without saying a word? By not giving her closure?
This was how you thanked her for all the good things she did for you? By leaving her wondering what went wrong and what she could have done to prevent you from walking away?
This was how you showed her your gratitude for everything she gave you? By putting her through all of this misery? By keeping her awake at night, thinking of all the harm you caused?
Couldn’t you have been the bigger person and showed her some more respect? Couldn’t you at least have acted like you appreciated all of her love even if you stopped feeling it back? Couldn’t you have chosen to be a mature man instead of being a selfish asshole?
But guess what? She will rise from this pain. And when that happens and when she finally sees you for who you really are, there is no going back.
She will pick up the pieces of her crushed heart and everything you did will just make her stronger. All the pain you made her go through will empower her to become the best possible version of herself. And that is when she’ll realize that you breaking her heart was actually the best thing that could have ever happened to her.
So apparently, even though you are the one who left, she is the one who won. And you know why? Because she will be happy again and you’ll forever remain the same piece of shit you’ve always been.
A teacher. A dreamer. A writer. A woman who’s been through all of the things you are going through. A woman who’s learned on her mistakes and whose advice you can trust. A woman who is trying to find her place under the stars. A woman just like you.