Lately, the term ‘foster girlfriend’ has been popping up. Even though it has been popularized by TikTokers just recently, the phenomenon has existed forever.

Basically, a foster girlfriend is one that men date until they find their forever person.

The one that guys use as a stepping stone for their final destination; the woman they want to spend the rest of their life with.

So, how can you tell if you’re someone’s foster girlfriend? Just go through these red flags and if most of them are relatable, everything is crystal clear.

You’re more his parent than his romantic partner

sad woman sitting on the couch with a man lying busy with his smartphone

When you come to think about it, if it weren’t for your intimate moments, someone would characterize you as this guy’s mother more than his girlfriend.

Most of the time, he acts like an immature brat who doesn’t know what he wants from life.

On the other hand, you’re the one who takes the lead. The one who takes care of him and raises him.

You might think this is how a healthy relationship should work. Well, it would be perfect if all of it wasn’t one-sided.

I hate to be the one to break it to you but you’re just preparing this man for the woman who will come after you.

You’re teaching him everything he needs to know about relationships and life in general.

You’re teaching him good manners, advising him regarding literally everything and you’re pushing him forward to become the best possible version of himself.

Yes, you’ll turn a boy into a man. You’ll spend years watering a plant that will eventually bloom.

Nevertheless, the problem is that you won’t reap the fruits of your labor.

Instead, you just do all the hard work and the girl who comes after you will get them instead.

He refuses to commit to you

bored woman dining with her boyfriend busy on the phone

Another sign that you’re your boyfriend’s foster girlfriend lies in his inability to commit.

Even though you two have been together for ages, he still acts as if your relationship isn’t serious enough.

He is not devoted to you, nor does he put any effort whatsoever into your romance. Besides, he refuses to talk about the future.

He makes plans without you and doesn’t include you in his life the way he should. He doesn’t see you two as partners in crime.

Well, let me tell you something; you’re not his final destination. Instead, he just sees you as one of the stops along the way.

Please, stop fooling yourself. He is not a commitment-phobe, he just doesn’t want to commit TO YOU.

Actually, this is the entire point. YOU are not the girl he takes seriously, he doesn’t plan his future with YOU and he doesn’t see YOU as his real partner.

He is emotionally unavailable

man busy with his smartphone while girlfriend bored and upset

When the man you date and care for fails to give you the treatment you deserve, instead of seeing the truth, you make excuses for him.

Don’t worry; almost all women do this.

Well, one of the most common justifications in your situation is alleged emotional unavailability.

You’re a smart girl so it didn’t take you long to realize that your guy doesn’t see you as his forever person.

However, instead of walking away, you concluded that he needs time to break down the walls around his heart.

You think he does love you but he doesn’t know how to show it the right way.

Maybe he was damaged in the past, so now he is scared of opening up. He is incapable of loving anyone the right way and this is his maximum.

Sounds familiar, right? Well, all of this is a fairy tale.

He is not emotionally unavailable. In fact, you’ll see that for yourself once he gives his wholehearted love to her.

sad woman in bed sitting and thoughtful leaning on the headboard of the bed

All of a sudden, he’ll become everything you wanted him to be.

He won’t have trouble expressing his true feelings, he’ll be romantic and attentive and will go out of his way for the sake of that relationship.

So please, take off your rose-tinted glasses and stop making excuses for something that is doomed to fail.

Hey, nobody likes being a foster girlfriend. Let’s be real, this is not something you’ve dreamed about or how you saw your romantic future.

Nevertheless, I’m begging you not to see this as the end of the world. At least, now you know where you stand and you can do something about it.

What you should never do in these circumstances is blame yourself for being a foster girlfriend.

This is not your fault and it doesn’t make you any less worthy.

You two just didn’t click enough. He’s never seen you as ‘the one’ and your relationship has never been the ‘real deal’.

However, trust me when I tell you that he isn’t ‘the one’ for you either. You’ll understand that once you find your forever person.