Do you know how it feels to wake up in the middle of the night and start recalling all the shit he did and blaming yourself for the things you didn’t do or the things you did but you think you shouldn’t have done? Do you know how it feels to suffocate in the yard of regretful moments, impatiently waiting to be resurfaced and be rid of the corrosion?
She polished these moments.
She was there for you when you least expected it or, rather, deserved it. She gave you her time even though she was aware of the fact that you were taking her for granted. Yet, she never complained because she tried to understand your nature that was constantly subject to change and secretly she hoped for the best. But it is hard to hope for the best when the word best suddenly changes its meaning.
She gave you a chance.
She stubbornly believed that every human being deserves a second chance but now she wished that some extraterrestrial being had erased you from the earth at the moment she decided to give you one. Even though you were aware of the fact that you didn’t deserve it, you took it in an ungrateful, greedy manner.
She was disappointed.
She blamed herself for every single event and unread message by you. She actually wanted to apologize but she didn’t come up with anything. Then she started to think: Oh, you silly, poor being! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Now she was mad. She was mad at herself because she let you lure her into your world just so that you could introduce her to your selfish game.
She made you a priority but you made her an option.
She was disappointed because she made you a priority and in return you treated her as an option. You were probably thinking that she would forever stay the same and eventually turn a blind eye to every single aspect of your delusional, egocentric game called bullshit. Guess what? It seems like you were wrong.
She refused to play your game.
She refused to be a pawn in your game because she was sick of games, players and scores. Your game is overrated and she’s sorry to tell you that you will have to tame another player for your selfish purposes because she ain’t having any of that anymore. She knows that she deserves better and no one can tell her otherwise.
She decided to move on.
She refused to spend another second on someone who didn’t deserve her, so she decided to move on and clean of all your trash and put it in the recycle bin so that others don’t get affected. It wasn’t easy but she managed to stand her ground and feel alive again, to feel blessed and grateful. She occupied herself with quality people worthy of her time.
She learned a valuable lesson.
She decided to convert all the bad into positivity. She wasn’t mad or disappointed anymore because you helped her learn a valuable lesson where she realized her true value and she is thankful for that. She’s aware of the fact that negative thinking won’t bring her any good and if she stays stuck in her past, she will never be able to enjoy the present.
She resurfaced the moments and got rid of the corrosion.
Remember those regretful moments impatiently waiting to be resurfaced and be rid of the corrosion? Guess what? SHE MADE IT!
She reconsidered her priorities.
She also realized the value of her time, so she decided to spend it on new hobbies, night walks, drinks with her favorite people… She decided not to waste her time with someone who doesn’t respect her and instead to celebrate happiness and find beauty in the little things because in the end, that’s what matters. She no longer wakes up in the middle of the night.
She is also sorry to tell that you no longer exist on her priority list.