A healthy sex life is essential to a happy, lasting relationship.
Research backs up this fact. Studies show that sexual communication and satisfaction are directly related to your relationship quality. So basically, the better sex you’re having, the happier your relationship will be! But you can’t be having good sex if your partner doesn’t know what turns you on.
When it comes to telling your spouse what you like in bed, spitting the words out is often easier said than done. Even saying something as simple as, “Can you go a little slower?” may be perceived by your partner as an ego-crushing criticism.
Don’t let your sex life fall flat because you don’t know how to communicate what you want! By taking online marriage courses, you can improve intimacy and learn new communication tips that can help you get exactly what you want in bed.
1. Figure out what you like
As a female, it’s extremely important that you know what you like sexually if you want to cross the finish line with your partner. Why? Studies show that 81.6 percent of women can’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone. Many women need clitoral stimulation, kissing, and lots of foreplay to get excited enough to orgasm.
Remember that your partner can’t know what turns you on if you haven’t figured it out for yourself.
One tip for jumpstarting your amazing sex life is to get personal with yourself. Do you know how you like to be touched? What fantasies or actions turn you on? Don’t be afraid to explore your own pleasure on your own or with your partner present.
Research shows that women who have a positive view of themselves sexually report having higher levels of passionate love and more romantic involvements in their lives. So, the more self-exploration you do, the better your sex life will be.
2. Connect on an emotional level
When sex is lacking (or unsatisfying) it can damage a marriage. An online marriage course will help you and your spouse learn how to communicate about sex and other aspects of your relationship. It also stresses the importance of maintaining intimacy outside of the bedroom. This will help build emotional intimacy, which allows you to be vulnerable between the sheets and get exactly what you desire.
You can build emotional intimacy by connecting on a personal level. Spend quality time together. Many couples choose to do this by way of a weekly date night.
Choose a night where you dress up and head out for a night on the town. Do something fun, new, or romantic together. Whatever activity you choose to do, be sure that you’re spending quality time together talking while you do it. This will help you connect on a deeper level and boost emotional intimacy.
3. Give him encouragement when it’s good
Don’t shy away from telling your partner what you want in bed. They want to please you! Research proves that husbands report higher levels of marital happiness when their wives are sexually satisfied.
One way you can tell him what turns you on without coming right out and saying it is by giving him verbal encouragement. When he’s doing something you like, moan, tell him how good it feels, and make a big deal out of the action. This will encourage him to repeat this pleasurable action in the future.
If something doesn’t feel good, don’t react favorably. Faking it is not going to help him learn how to please you.
And if whatever he is doing is hurting you, come right out and tell him to stop. You don’t have to be rude about it. Something as simple as moving his hand and slowing him down and saying, “It really turns me on when you do… (A DIFFERENT ACTION),” and he’ll get the hint.
4. Say it through a text
Are you having difficulty in a new sexual relationship? Don’t worry about it—most women do. Studies show that women show lower sexual satisfaction rates earlier in relationships. The good news? The longer a couple is together, the higher a woman’s level of sexual satisfaction gets.
If you’re having trouble verbalizing your needs, technology has provided you an easy way to. Text!
Send your partner a naughty text, telling him all the things you want him to do to you. This way, you can write out all of your biggest turn-ons without him feeling like you’re writing a how-to manual for him.
5. Build trust
Research by Northwestern University found that couples enjoy more fulfilling relationships when they trust one another. This is great for those who have a thriving sex life because the oxytocin released during lovemaking has been shown to build trust between partners.
Not only will this trust help build a strong marriage, but it will also help you feel more comfortable discussing what turns you on sexually.
6. Learn how to communicate
Women are more likely to orgasm with a loving partner than during a hookup encounter. Why? Likely because they are more able to communicate with a spouse. A loving partner knows their body and turn-ons. Not to mention the emotional connection they share creates a heightened sense of passion.
Sexual communication is important for not only an amazing sex life but an amazing relationship! Studies show that couples who can communicate about sex reported a higher frequency in orgasm (for women), as well as boosted marital satisfaction.
You don’t have to be married to reap the benefits of taking an online marriage course. These lessons will teach partners new communication techniques and learn how to have compassion for each other’s thoughts and desires.
Your sex life should be exciting and fulfilling. It should also be something that deeply connects you to your spouse. By taking online marriage courses, you can learn to communicate exactly what you want between the sheets and improve your relationship for the future.
by Sylvia Smith