Remember that girl you thought would love you always and forever? Remember how she swore that she would love you until the end of time, no matter what happened between the two of you? How she would always care for you in a special way, no matter where life happened to take you?
Well, the truth is that she really meant all of these things. The truth is that she planned to love you until the end of time.
The truth is that she planned to love you even when your face got covered in wrinkles and when you lost your good looks. That she planned on spending the rest of her life with you and that she was convinced that nothing and nobody could ever make her stop loving you.
But ironically, you were the one who killed this girl’s unconditional love for you. Ironically, you were the one who turned her love into hatred.
Yes, you read that right. It’s not just that she doesn’t love you anymore. She hates you to the bones, with all of her guts. She despises even the memory of you. And all of it is your fault.
She hates you with all of her heart, the same way she once loved you. And she will hate you forever, the same way she once thought she would love you forever.
And all of it is only your fault.
After all, you were the one who killed all of this girl’s dreams and hopes. You were the one who killed a vulnerable girl who believed in love. The one who destroyed all of the happy endings and happily ever afters she fantasized about.
You were the one who promised her the world and ended up giving her nothing. The one who destroyed the woman she used to be, the one who ripped her heart out of her chest and the one who killed her spiritually.
You were the one who made her feel like she wasn’t worthy of your love. The one who convinced her that she wasn’t enough and that she was always to blame for everything bad between the two of you.
You were the one who abused her for years. The one who diminished and insulted her. The one who did everything in his power to get inside her head and to destroy her completely.
You were the one who led her on, the one who never appreciated her and the one who lied that he loved her. The one who tried to distort her image of love, convincing her that this was how a man should treat her. The one who tried to make her believe that she’d never find someone better and that she should settle for him wanting her.
These are the things that go through her mind whenever she thinks of you. No, she doesn’t think of the beautiful memories. She only thinks of her tears and of all the pain you caused her. She only thinks of the abuse, of the insults and of the way you made her feel.
And these are all the things you should think of as well, every time you wonder if or why she still hates you after all this time.
The truth is that this girl knows that hatred will lead her nowhere. She knows that she ought to at least try and forgive you for everything you put her through for years. She knows that she shouldn’t allow you to still exist inside of her and for you to still be a source of negativity in her life.
She just can’t help herself. She tried not to hate you but this hatred consumes her. She is not proud of this and she never hated anyone before but she hates you and there is nothing she can do about it.
But there is something good in everything bad because you are also the one who toughened this girl. You are the one who caused her to be this strong and fearless woman she is now. You are the one who left numerous scars on her heart but each one of these scars is valuable to her.
You are the one who taught her what hatred is but her hatred taught her a life-changing lesson.
I am an English Language and Literature teacher. I am a writer. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend… But most of all, I am a woman, just like you.
A woman who has experienced the same things you’ve been going through. A woman who’s been fighting battles similar to yours. A woman who wants you to learn from her mistakes and who wants to help you empower yourself.