They say you only love once. They say you only get one chance to feel true love. They say you only get that one person to be your soulmate.

But, what happens then if that love fails? If you lose that person? If you are unable to be with them for some reason? Does that mean that you didn’t love them truly? And if you indeed loved them truly, does that mean you lost your chance of having love?

So, most of us feel pressured if we have loved and lost. We are afraid that we failed in love. We get scared, scared that love passed by us and that it’s never coming back. Or we go to the other extreme. We search for an ideal partner, for somebody just perfect, disregarding the fact that perfection doesn’t exist.

Don’t believe them when they say you only get one chance to feel true love.

I think that’s far from the truth. Those are fairy tales told over and over again and they have no connection with reality. Maybe we just watched too many romantic comedies. Maybe we easily believe in all the love stories people pass on.

How many loves you get in a lifetime depends on how open you are to the idea of love. You can love honestly, truthfully and wholeheartedly as many times as you get the chance in this lifetime. As many times needed. Because not everyone shares the same faith. Not everyone gets to love only one person in this lifetime.

Maybe it’s easier to believe in the concept of one love because we are scared of loving and losing that love again. Nothing hurts like love. It’s normal that we are scared and that we don’t want to go through all that pain again.

But, don’t believe them when they say you only get one chance for true love. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt again because love is also the most blissful feeling we can experience in life and it’s always worth the risk.

I also had my fears. I remember thinking at one point I had two great loves in my life so did that mean I was not getting any more chances? Which one of those loves was truer? What if one of them had been my soulmate and I’d lost him forever? My brain was shuffling all kinds of scenarios and I couldn’t make sense of anything.

When I caught my breath and started thinking rationally, I realized that I had loved them both. I loved them both in totally different ways but I loved truly, madly, deeply, wholeheartedly and with all that I was. There is no way to measure which one of them I loved more. The bottom line is that I loved even though it didn’t work out. Even though it wasn’t meant to last, that doesn’t mean the love was any less true.

At the end of the day,I know how to love. I am capable of feelings. And if I loved two times, I will love again. I shouldn’t burden myself with the concept of only one love or put labels on how that love should look or feel like. I had two great loves and now I am waiting for the one great love who stays. I will open my heart and give myself a chance.  

I believe that people got the concept of ‘one love’ and soulmate wrong. It’s not about the intensity of love. It’s not about giving love just one chance. It’s about giving love chances to find you. It’s about loving and letting go of the ones who weren’t meant to stay. It’s about your soulmate being the one great love who stays, the one who stays and holds you tight when you are old, wrinkled and gray.