9 Compromissos que nunca se deve fazer numa relação
Estar numa relação significa fundir duas vidas e é necessário fazer alguns compromissos.
A little flexibility goes a long way. But compromising on things that make you you—those compromises should make you question staying in such a relationship.
Aqui estão alguns compromissos que nunca deve fazer, por muito que ame a outra pessoa, porque se ela lhe pedir para os fazer, isso pode não ser um amor verdadeiro e honesto.
1. Vida sexual
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Differences in sex drive are a common thing—there’s no need to feel ashamed if you have a higher or lower sexual drive than your partner. The important thing is to talk and meet on middle ground.
But if your partner likes kinky stuff, or stuff that borders on true abuse and wants you to go against your will to satisfy him, that’s one compromise you should NEVER ever do.
Even if he threatens to leave you or tries to guilt trip you, that’s one more reason to leave. That’s no longer a healthy relationship.
2. Objectivos de carreira
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Se sonhava em ser um diretor executivo durão da sua própria empresa, então seja-o. Se sonhava ser uma mãe que fica em casa, então seja. O importante sobre uma relação saudável é que o seu parceiro a aceite, independentemente da escolha que fizer, e a apoie nessa escolha.
Giving up on your dreams because someone asked you to do it will only lead you to the pit of unhappiness and despair, and maybe eventually depression. No man’s worth it.
3. Família e amigos
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When merging two lives together, it also means that you merge a whole bunch of people, too—your friends and family with his friends and family.
But if that merging means you only get to spend time with HIS friends and HIS family, that’s no longer a compromise—it’s manipulation. Again, communication is important. Talk, discuss, and make the best out of your situation.
4. Estilo de vida
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If you lived your life to the fullest before you met him, there’s no reason to change that now. You’re into extreme sports and he’s not? He’s into movies and you’re not? There’s no need for both of you to give up on your passions; there’s no need to give up on your lifestyle.
You can still have separate life whilst together. There’s a good reason why we make friends. You go hiking, while he goes to the movies. You can sing karaoke, while he drinks and cheers for you.
Pode ir às compras enquanto ele faz o que lhe apetece. O importante é não chegar a extremos de compromissos e a uma situação doentia de perda de si próprio.
5. Segurança financeira
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Os maus hábitos de consumo do seu parceiro afectam-no de várias formas. Se planeia comprar uma casa um dia ou mesmo começar o seu próprio negócio, mas o seu parceiro gasta o dinheiro dele e o seu em disparates, pode deitar esse plano para o lixo.
The best thing to do is to have your finances separate until their spending habits get under control. Not having financial security in today’s world is a terrifying thing. No one can spread the love on bread and eat it. Unfortunately, we need money to survive.
6. Princípios
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With time, we start to sacrifice our principles in order to keep our partners happy. But when to know if it’s enough? If you always hated cheaters and flirty idiots, why do you let him do that now?
Excuses like ‘They’re just friends, He’s just joking around.’ are okay if you are truly okay with that kind of behavior. But if there’s the slightest chance of that bothering you, don’t do it.
Sempre sonhaste em ter três filhos e um grande casamento, mas ele não planeia ter nenhum? Desde quando é que tens de desistir dos teus maiores sonhos só para o fazeres feliz?
7. Necessidade de comunicação
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I have no idea how many times I said or wrote down: ‘Communication is important. Communication is key.’ But what to do when your partner avoids talking and ignores your need to discuss things? I’m the kind of person that needs to discuss everything, from the color of shower curtains to which brand of peanut butter I am going to buy.
As much as I care about myself and my own happiness, I care about his. And in order to make him happy, I need to know how he feels and the way he thinks (hint to fellas: we don’t read minds).
If he doesn’t care enough to talk with you, to share his feelings, to hear your fears and hopes, maybe he doesn’t care about you that much. This is one compromise no couple should ever make. Nothing good ever came from the silent treatment; yell, scream, talk—just keep the communication flowing.
8. Desrespeito
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All couples argue, but no one has the right to undermine the opinion of the other one or treat them badly. If you’re constantly being put down in public or embarrassed, that’s not cute or fun—that’s disrespect.
Talvez devesses repensar a tua se ele vê o desrespeito apenas como uma diversão.
9. Abuso
https://giphy.com/gifs/mic-domestic-abuse-tw-violence-vjsj1yD6vNSYU
No one should put up with abuse, no matter if he apologizes later on or says he never meant to hurt you. He did and nothing can change that. Leaving abuse is hard, simply because it’s hard to admit that abuse can happen to us.
I know how hard it can be—you always make up excuses for his behavior: maybe if I didn’t act so stupid, maybe if I didn’t overreact, maybe he would have never snapped. But he did, more than once. Remember, love is not abuse.
