Let me just rip off the Band-Aid: having grown kids can sometimes feel like raising toddlers again—except now they eat your leftovers, question your opinions, and don’t text back. I said what I said.
As a mom, wife, and woman who has lost count of how many times I’ve bitten my tongue at Thanksgiving dinner, I can tell you this: the disrespect doesn’t always come in shouting matches or dramatic exits.
It’s in the little things. The everyday snubs. The eye rolls. The forgotten birthdays. And honestly? It stings.
1. The Vanishing Text Phenomenon
Oh, the classic disappearing act. You craft a sweet, emoji-filled message to your grown child. Hours tick by—nothing.
Meanwhile, you spy them online, posting about matcha lattes and their cat’s latest adventure. The silence isn’t just about a missed reply; it feels like a tiny invisible slap. It’s like your messages have entered a digital time warp.
I get it—everyone’s busy. But that crickets-in-the-group-chat vibe is tough to shake. When your words are met with radio silence, it’s hard not to feel like the world’s most irrelevant texter. We’re not asking for a sonnet—just a sign you saw it.
2. The Last-Minute Bail-Out
You roast the chicken. You set the table. Maybe you even light a candle or two. Then, just as you’re fluffing the last pillow, you get the dreaded text: “Something came up.”
Now you’re sitting in a kitchen that smells like Sunday dinner, with enough leftovers to feed the neighborhood. It’s not about the food—it’s about the feeling. Canceling plans at the eleventh hour is a masterclass in making someone feel like an afterthought.
Trust me, we know emergencies happen. But when it’s a pattern, it stings. There’s something heartbreakingly lonely about packing up that uneaten meal. Just once, we’d like to be the thing that “comes up.”
3. The Gift Ghosting
You spent ages picking the perfect gift—something that speaks to who they are and what they love. Wrapped with care, topped with a bow, maybe even a handwritten card. Then? Radio silence.
No thank you. No “I got it!” Not even a thumbs up emoji. You’re left wondering: did they hate it? Did it vanish into a black hole of Amazon boxes and laundry baskets?
It’s not about flashy gratitude—just a simple acknowledgment. The lack of response feels like your thoughtfulness was tossed in the recycling bin. Sometimes, being seen is the real present parents want. A thank you goes a long way.
4. The “I Know Better Now” Lectures
There’s always that moment when your adult child takes one psychology class and suddenly you’re the problematic parent. The script flips and you get a mini seminar on boundaries, attachment styles, or why you should’ve done things differently.
Part of you wants to giggle. Another part wants to hide under the couch. It’s not that we don’t want to grow or change—it’s the smugness that lands like a brick. The flip in roles can feel almost theatrical.
Sure, we made mistakes. But no one likes being treated like a cautionary tale. Sometimes, the best lesson is remembering nobody has it all figured out.
5. The Sibling Comparison Olympics
Sibling rivalry doesn’t retire just because everyone graduated. “Rachel always listens to me,” they say. So, why not ask Rachel to help you move next time?
Comparisons sting, whether you’re five or fifty. Hearing that another parent is “more understanding” or a sibling is the “favorite child” is a guaranteed way to shrink your heart three sizes.
It’s not about winning gold at the Family Olympics—it’s about feeling equally valued. Nobody likes the sense they’re perpetually coming up short. A little appreciation for the unique ways each parent shows up? That’s the trophy we’re after.
6. The Reluctant Phone Call
Nothing says “I need something” like getting a call only when there’s paperwork involved. Tax season? Suddenly, you’re on speed dial. Need a copy of your birth certificate? Mom’s hotline is open.
The rare “just called to chat” moments are so uncommon, you wonder if they’ve been abducted by aliens. Or maybe you should send them an invoice for administrative services rendered.
It’s not that we don’t want to help, but sometimes, just hearing your kid’s voice for no reason is a treat. The best calls? The ones with no agenda—just a little “how are you?” that makes a day feel brighter.
7. The Boundary Overload
There’s nothing like setting boundaries only to have them trampled by a frying pan and a surprise visit. “Don’t come over unannounced,” they say, but your house is their personal pantry.
You’re stuck between wanting to help and craving just a sliver of privacy. The double standard is almost comical—a revolving door for them, but a locked gate in reverse.
Sometimes respect looks like knocking (or at least texting first). A shared sense of space can make everyone’s home feel a little more sacred. Boundaries aren’t barricades; they’re just doors with respectful hinges.
8. The “That Was Your Job” Mindset
Cue the world’s tiniest violin: “You chose to have kids, so raising us was your job.” As if every sleepless night and lunch packed was just part of a contract.
Sure, parenting is a choice. But reducing it to a task list skips over the sweat, hope, and heartache parents pour in. Sometimes we just want a little credit—even if it’s for the embarrassing school lunches.
We don’t expect medals or trophies, but a nod to the effort is nice. When everything is chalked up to “your job,” it cheapens the love behind the labor. Moms are more than just managers.
9. The Eye Roll Encore
Timeless advice: “Bring a jacket.” Timeless reaction: the Olympic-level eye roll. You’d think suggesting a sweater was a federal offense.
It’s not about the fabric. It’s about caring, about the tiny ways parents try to keep their kids safe and comfortable. When concern is met with sarcasm, it leaves a bruise—even if it’s followed by a laugh.
Nobody wants to be a nag. We just want to be heard, even if the wisdom is wrapped in a reminder about the weather. A little patience for the classics wouldn’t hurt.
10. The “New Family, New Priorities” Shuffle
Weddings rearrange family seating charts in more ways than one. Suddenly, the in-laws and the new dog get top billing. The holiday calendar gets redrawn, and you’re left squinting for your spot.
Blending families is beautiful, but feeling like you’ve been benched hurts. It’s not jealousy—it’s the ache of adjusting to second (or third) place in someone’s universe.
We want our kids to build their own nests, but once in a while, maybe toss an invite our way. The goal isn’t to be the favorite—just not forgotten.
11. The Boomer Joke-a-thon
Social media is a battlefield, and apparently one misplaced GIF makes you the punchline. Suddenly, every text that ends with a period is “boomer energy,” even though you’re Gen X (thank you very much).
It’s all laughs until you realize the joke’s at your expense. The little digs about your “outdated” ways can pile up, leaving you feeling like the family dinosaur.
We can take a joke—most days. But a little less roasting and a little more respect for the moms who kept you alive through dial-up would go a long way. And yes, we know what a meme is.
12. The Emotional ATM Withdrawal
Being the family’s emotional ATM: withdrawals only, please. Your adult child comes with heartbreak, work drama, or existential crises. You listen, reassure, and offer hugs.
But when the tables turn—when you need a pep talk or just a friendly ear? Suddenly, it’s “gotta run.” The two-way street turns into a dead end.
It’s not selfish to want support. Sometimes, mothers need nurturing, too. We’re human, not superheroes. A little emotional deposit now and then? Priceless.
13. The Career Critique Chronicles
Apparently, your job from 1993 was utterly pointless. Never mind that it paid for braces, soccer cleats, and endless cereal runs.
The eye rolls and career critiques are tough to swallow, especially when the world was different back then. What felt like achievement now gets recast as “irrelevant” or “old-fashioned.”
Honoring where we came from doesn’t mean ignoring progress. But a dash of respect for the hustle? It makes sharing those “back in my day” stories feel a lot less awkward. Moms want to be proud, not pitied.
14. The Holiday Houdini Move
Holidays used to mean chaos, laughter, and extra chairs pulled up. Now, the “We’re doing our own thing” text lands like a snowball to the heart.
It’s not about controlling traditions—it’s about missing the mess, the noise, and the way holidays made you feel like home base. Each skipped invite adds to the ache that maybe, just maybe, you’re not part of their “own thing.”
We get it—new routines happen. But a little effort to include the old crew? That’s the real holiday magic. Nobody wants to be the ghost of Christmas Past.
15. The Emotional Check-Out
You’re sharing something that matters—maybe a memory, maybe a hope. And the response? “Wild.” Or worse, a casual “lol.”
Pouring your heart out and getting a group-chat reply hurts more than stepping on Legos barefoot. The lack of real engagement is louder than any argument.
It doesn’t take a therapist to understand: parents want to feel heard. Responding like it matters is the simplest act of love. Save the “lol” for your memes.
16. Acknowledge and Affirm
Nothing melts a mom’s heart faster than a genuine “Thanks, Mom.” You don’t need a parade—just a little acknowledgment. It’s amazing how far a simple word or hug can go.
Affirmation isn’t just flattery. It’s a way of saying, “I see you, I appreciate you, and you still matter.” This tiny act can turn a rough week on its head, making all those late nights and early mornings feel worth it.
We’re not looking for gold stars, just a sense that our efforts didn’t disappear into the void. Gratitude is the original love language.
17. Initiate Something—Anything
Surprise us. Call first. Send a meme that can only be shared with someone who knows you still sleep with socks on.
The magic isn’t in grand gestures—it’s in showing that we cross your mind. Invite us out for coffee, or drop a “thinking of you” text just because. Initiating reminds us that we’re not always last on your to-do list.
Even the smallest outreach can flip our whole day around. Being wanted, not just needed, is a gift no parent forgets. Don’t let all the connection come from our end.
18. Speak Their Partner’s Love Language, Too
This one’s for the partners in the peanut gallery. When your wife feels dismissed by grown kids, don’t just brush it off—hold her hand, let her vent, and remind her she’s more than just “Mom.”
Standing beside her is sometimes the most romantic thing you can do. You don’t have to fix her pain, just stand in it with her. That solidarity matters more than any pep talk.
Parenting together doesn’t end when the kids move out. Being each other’s backup makes the hard moments softer. Sometimes, showing care is being there—no words required.