Porque é que não tenho um namorado? 9 razões para continuares solteira
No início, gostava do seu estatuto de solteiro. Adorava a sua independência e o facto de poder viver a sua vida como quisesse.
No entanto, passado algum tempo, começou a perguntar-se: Why don’t I have a boyfriend já?
O problema sou eu? O que estou a fazer de errado? Como é que posso mudar a minha estado de relacionamento?
Well, if you’re one of the girls who keep asking themselves these questions, here are the possible answers.
1. You’re not emotionally available
The number one reason why most single girls are not romantically involved is because they’re still invested in their previous relationships.
Don’t get me wrong-this doesn’t have to mean that you’re still in touch with your ex.
No entanto, existe uma grande possibilidade de ainda amar e sentir saudades do rapaz e pensar que ele era o seu "Sr. Certo".
Or maybe you hate his guts and can’t forgive him for breaking your heart?
Either way, the bottom line is that he is still present in your heart or mind, even if he’s out of your life.
Even this doesn’t have to be the case-maybe you’re still overwhelmed with the trauma your ex caused you.
É possível que, no fundo, esteja a comparar todos os homens que aparecem com o seu ex.
You push them away the moment you see that he is nowhere to be found, or that they’re too similar to him.
If you’ve been through a nasty breakup, it is perfectly natural to assume that every man will hurt you the same way your ex did.
You’ve built thick walls around you in an attempt to protect yourself and you can’t seem to open up.
Talvez nem se dê conta disso, mas o seu bagagem emocional está a arruinar a possibilidade de ter uma nova relação de sucesso.
2. You’re not in the piscina de encontros
If you’re wondering: “Why don’t I have a boyfriend?”, but are not doing anything to change your relationship status and improve your love life, what actually do you expect?
Your Mr. Perfect won’t appear out of nowhere. Life isn’t a romantic comedy-he won’t come knocking on your door, nor will you bump into each other on the street and ride off together into the sunset.
Para termos alguém, temos de o procurar.
Don’t get me wrong-I’m not saying that you ought to drag men by their sleeves and beg them to be with you.
No entanto, é preciso dar-se a conhecer.
For starters, tell your best friends that you’re looking for a BF. I’m sure they have a single guy friend they could set you up with.
Also, don’t rule out online dating and dating apps such as Tinder. What do you have to lose?
So, why don’t you make some changes? Why don’t you go out next Friday night and put yourself out there?
Saia da sua zona de conforto e conheça pessoas. Dê uma oportunidade a alguns tipos fantásticos que se atiram a si e veja o que eles têm para oferecer.
You don’t have to get yourself involved with each one of them. However, there is nothing wrong in going out on a few dates.
Besides, I’m sure that if you relax and look around you, you’ll find many guys who are boyfriend material. You just haven’t been paying enough attention.
3. You’re too picky when it comes to men
You’ve got your standards-there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, you should never settle for less than you deserve just to find a boyfriend.
After all, it’s always better to be single than with the wrong guy. However, the right guy doesn’t equal Mr. Perfect.
If you expect to find a man who has no flaws at all, it’s time to think again.
Let’s be honest-you have your set of imperfections, as well. You want your potential significant other to accept you for who you are.
So, why can’t you do the same? Why can’t you come to terms with the fact that every guy you run into will have some traits you probably won’t like?
For a change, give someone who doesn’t fulfill all of your standards a chance and see where it gets you.
Don’t waste years of your life waiting for Prince Charming because there is no such thing as a perfect man.
O que precisa de fazer neste caso é definir alguns factores básicos de desempate sem ser demasiado exigente.
What are the things you can’t tolerate in a man? What is something you couldn’t live with?
Once you answer these questions and realize we’re all humans made of flesh and blood, things will get easier for you.
4. Parece demasiado desesperado
We’ve already talked about the situation where you don’t try hard enough to find the right person.
No entanto, o que acontece quando se tenta demasiado? Bem, infelizmente, obtém-se exatamente o mesmo resultado que no caso anterior.
You see, when it comes to this, it’s like most men have some kind of a sixth sense.
A verdade é que eles conseguem cheirar o desespero a uma milha de distância. A pior parte é que começam a correr para salvar a vida no momento em que sentem que os quer apanhar.
Therefore, you can’t make your search for a relationship the only priority in your life. If you do, it’ll just have a counterproductive effect.
The key is in perfect balance-it’s in putting yourself out there but not acting like not having a boyfriend is the end of the world. On the contrary, every guy you meet will wonder what’s wrong with you.
How come you’re tão desesperado para encontrar o homem certo mas ninguém parece querer-te?
5. You’re too shy
Modern dating is nothing like the old days. It’s unlikely that a man will approach you through your BFF or family and that just like that, you’ll end up happily married.
Basically, if you’re wondering “why don’t I have a boyfriend” but you’re not flirting or making any moves towards the opposite sex, you have your answer. You’re not sending the right vibe!
Many introverted single girls who don’t like being surrounded by a lot of people have the same problem: even if they like a dude, they are too shy to send him some hints.
Bem, isso tem de mudar se tiver alguma esperança de encontrar uma relação de sucesso.
For starters, learn how to flirt. Send some body language signals, make eye contact, and don’t be scared to talk to a guy if he starts a conversation.
Actually, today’s world has changed the dating game for good. So, forget about the ancient rules that guys have to make the first step.
Don’t be old fashioned and learn how to approach guys. For starters, you can ask your BFF to be your wingman.
Praticar alguns frases de engate e se gostares de um rapaz, começa a falar com ele sem qualquer pressão.
Don’t get me wrong-I’m not saying that you should start doing things you’re not comfortable with.
However, it’s time to step out of your comfort zone and make some progress!
On the other hand, if your insecurities come from your self-esteem problems, it’s time to work on that.
Remember: you’re good enough and there is no reason for you to be shy.
Work on the vibe you’re sending, get out there, meet people, and show them your worth! I promise you that your Mr. Right will come along.
6. You’re not girlfriend material
É difícil de engolir. No entanto, é certamente uma das opções que tem de considerar.
The truth is that maybe you’re not material de namorada. Maybe men don’t see your qualities, or maybe you have the wrong attitude.
Yes, you heard it right: it’s not them-it’s you. The same way you have a certain set of standards for your potential boyfriend, men have some deal breakers, too.
Estás a fazer alguma coisa para afugentar todos os homens que se aproximam de ti?
Are you giving them the impression that you’re not ready for a relationship? Or that you’re only after casual hookups and meaningless affairs?
Está demasiado disponível? Ou não está disponível de todo?
Whether you like to admit it or not, these could all be the answers to your question of why you don’t have a significant other.
So, instead of blaming the entire world for your crappy love life, do some self-reflection and see whether you’re the guilty one.
However, even if you realize that you’re not girlfriend material, it doesn’t mean that everything is lost.
In fact, it’s just a red flag that you should work on yourself.
No, this is not advice on how to change the essence of yourself to become more likeable to men, because that’s something you should never do.
On the contrary, it’s just a heads up to get the best out of your looks and personality and to work on some self-improvement.
7. You’re too needy
Muitas pessoas dir-lhe-ão que a coisa número um que afasta a maioria dos homens é a carência.
É que, nalguns casos, os rapazes e as raparigas têm uma perceção diferente de uma relação feliz.
When you’re into a guy, it’s perfectly natural that you have the need to be all over this guy.
Quer passar cada segundo do seu tempo livre com ele e não pára de lhe enviar mensagens e de lhe telefonar.
No entanto, em vez de apreciarem a sua lealdade, a maioria dos homens vai caraterizar o seu comportamento como sendo demasiado desesperado e patético. Para ser sincera, nenhum homem quer ter um namorada pegajosa.
In fact, they’ll just start taking you for granted. You’ll bore the hell out of them and consequently, you’ll just make them run away.
Your potential boyfriend will think that you have self-esteem problems and that you see yourself as not good enough for him and that you’re scared of losing him.
If this is something you’ve experienced, bear in mind that it’s not your fault.
It’s just that men start to feel caged easily and when that happens, they get the urge to escape.
So, the next time you find a guy you like, show him some interest but don’t exaggerate.
Let him come to you and expect the same amount of effort and emotions you’re putting in.
Don’t talk about the future right from the beginning and let things go with the flow.
Naturally, you have the right to demand your relationship be labelled but that doesn’t mean that you should start on the marriage talk before it’s time.
8. You’re going for the wrong kind of guys
Outra razão pela qual muitas pessoas solteiras têm dificuldade em encontrar a sua pessoa para sempre reside no tipo de parceiros que procuram.
This is exactly what’s going on with you: even since middle school, all through high school, college, and into your adult life, you’ve been dating the exact same o tipo errado de homens.
If you’re chasing men who don’t want to be caught, you’ll have no success in finding a healthy relationship.
If you’re going after players, expect for them to play games with you-it’s that simple.
A única coisa que se pode obter destes tipos é um coração partido e não uma relação amorosa.
Sure, they’ll give you some attention until they get what they want but don’t expect them to commit and be faithful any time soon.
The same goes with men who are too good to be true. I don’t want to generalize but this is the type which usually turns out to be worse than anyone before, once they show their true colors.
On the other hand, if you’re constantly surrounded by seemingly great guys who actually can’t make up their minds about you, maybe it’s your fault that you let them get away with their indecisiveness right from the beginning.
Either way, what you should bear in mind is that you’re in charge. You decide who has a chance to become a part of your life and who needs to go away.
Por isso, tente mudar a sua rotina. Mude o tipo de homens com quem sai e veja o que acontece.
9. You’re happy with your relationship status
Finally, the answer to your question of “why don’t I have a boyfriend?” could be: Because you don’t want to.
Is it possible that you’re actually enjoying your single life too much, without even being aware of it?
One of the reasons for the lack of romance in your life could lie in the fact that subconsciously you’re the one chasing it away.
You’re having a great time on your own, you love your peace, and you think that a boyfriend would just be an unnecessary disturbance.
Over the years, you’ve become so independent that the last thing you want is someone you’ll have to compromise with.
You’re simply not ready to share your life with anyone.
In fact, you’re not sure whether you’ll ever be. When you come to think of it, you wouldn’t actually mind restante solteiro para o resto da tua vida.
Se for esse o caso, deixe de ficar obcecado com o que os outros dizem e continue a arrasar na sua vida de solteiro!
