8 razões que levam ao fim de uma relação de longa duração

Porque é que tantas relações duradouras acabam em rutura? É por causa do tempo, porque duraram tanto tempo?

These questions puzzled me as I saw so many long-term relationships ending and so few of them succeeding. I couldn’t help but investigate why. I had long and thorough conversations. These are the reasons I got:

O amor transformou-se em hábito.

You just get used to that person and can’t imagine not having them around. Love just faded away like it did to some of the old married couples.

De repente, apercebemo-nos que estamos a ficar porque já gastámos demasiado tempo e esforço com essa pessoa.

Partilhou tanto. Tem medo da mudança e, por isso, mantém-se por perto. Mas há uma altura em que tem de decidir se quer passar o resto da sua vida com alguém a que está habituado.

Love vs. ‘In love’

Quando duas pessoas amam-se mas esquecem-se de como estar apaixonados. You know they are good—they are worth it, part of you doesn’t want it to end, but it’s just not working.

You love them as you love your family but nothing more. The passion is gone and you don’t want to continue without it.

Começar demasiado cedo.

You don’t know who you are when you are alone because you spent most of your adult life with that person and you are starting to miss you. You feel lost and trapped.

Mudar.

You outgrow one another in every sense of the word. You simply become incompatible because you are not the same person you were when you started the relationship. You want different things now and it just doesn’t seem like you are on the same page anymore.

Falta de compromisso.

Over the course of the years, people change and they fight a lot because of it. When the relationship feels more like the war zone and you are never at ease, it’s time to leave.

Pressão familiar.

The person you are with becomes an integral part of your family—they attend family reunions, weddings, they go out on a casual coffee get together.

That’s generally a good thing. But if the only reason you are staying in a relationship is not to disappoint your family members, you are not doing anyone a favor. That’s not the right reason to be in a relationship.

Batota.

Simplesmente apaixonaram-se por outra pessoa e foram suficientemente egoístas para o ler antes de terminarem uma relação em que já estavam. Ou quiseram continuar numa relação e ter alguém ao lado.

So disrespectful. But it’s better to end a long-term relationship than to get married, have kids, and than realize what is happening.

Máscaras para baixo.

As pessoas cansam-se de fingir e, a dada altura, o pior de si vem ao de cima. Há todo o tipo de casos, desde o abuso físico ao abuso mental de qualquer tipo.

Devias estar grato por eles terem revelado as suas verdadeiras cores, independentemente do tempo que demoraram a fazê-lo, e agradecer a Deus por te teres livrado deles.