Homem recusa-se a sacrificar uma noite por semana para ajudar a sua mulher com um recém-nascido
Ladies, be honest. Who does more work around the baby, you or your partner? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Este novo capítulo é fantástico e cheio de alegria, mas também cheio de noites sem dormir e muitos desafios. Everything’s easier when you have a devoted man by your side who’s not afraid of dirty diapers and a little screaming creature.
Infelizmente, continuamos a viver num mundo em que people think that a man’s only obligation ends with making a baby. Quando a realidade lhes bate na cara e se apercebem que ser pai ou mãe é um trabalho a tempo inteiro, querem fugir.
As mulheres, por outro lado, são diferentes tipos de heróis e conseguem aguentar muito. Mas esta mãe chegou finalmente ao seu ponto de rutura.
Uma mãe exausta queixa-se no Reddit
Uma mulher contou a sua história no Reddit hoping other people would confirm her expectations weren’t unreasonable. She recently gave birth to a baby girl and was stunned by her husband’s behavior.
Começou por explicar a sua rotina habitual antes da chegada do bebé:
“Before I was pregnant, he used to go to his soccer games (and, more importantly, the drinking afterward) twice per week, and he went running on Sunday and/or on his day off for hours on end. There used to be weeks when we would only see/talk to each other for a few minutes in bed.”
Por isso, como seria de esperar, a sua mulher queria que ele passasse mais tempo com ela e com o recém-nascido. Ela escreveu:
“Since I got pregnant, I asked him to scale back his soccer/drinking to once a week and to plan his runs closer to home so that he’s not gone an entire day. He reluctantly agreed after lots of fighting and drama.”
Um dia, quando chegou a casa do trabalho, saiu apenas duas horas depois. O churrasco com os amigos era mais importante para ele do que passar tempo com a família.
Since he didn’t come back until 11 p.m., she texted him saying to sleep downstairs so he wouldn’t wake her and the baby up. Um pedido aparentemente pequeno tornou-se numa grande discussão. Foi nessa altura que começou a queixar-se de tudo.
“My husband says I’m taking away his freedom”
O marido achava que as expectativas que ela tinha eram injustas. Ela explicou:
“Apparently, he believes I take away his freedom when I ask him to let me know when he will be home. He needs to ‘feel the atmosphere of the night’ before he can decide when to come home. I ask him so I at least know something so I can plan my night accordingly, but to him, that is unfair.”
But it didn’t end there. He continued complaining about how sacrificar uma noite por semana tem sido difícil para ele. The baby’s only been with them for one week, and he’s already tired? Poor guy. She continued by writing:
“He has also said that taking care of my needs during pregnancy (so basically giving up one night of soccer and drinking) has pushed him to the edge of burnout. During pregnancy, he threatened to leave me if he would not be allowed to do whatever he wanted once the baby arrived.”
Imaginem a audácia! Acho que o pai se comporta mais como um bebé do que como o próprio filho! Oh, que surpresa, temos de abdicar do nosso tempo livre quando temos filhos. Quem é que estaria à espera disso?!
People also agreed he’s acting selfish and is not setting his priorities straight. One person commented:
“He’s behaving like this with a 3-week-old child? I’m all for parents finding a way to make both solo and couple social time happen, but the ink on that baby’s birth certificate isn’t even dry yet. Home needs to be his first priority 100% of the time right now.”
I couldn’t agree more! At this point, divorcing him now wouldn’t change anything since she’s living like a single parent either way.
No entanto, nem toda a gente pensa que o pai é o único errado. Some say that he deserves to have his free time since he’s the one working. Someone wrote:
“IN MY OPINION, you’re both wrong. He seems to work quite a bit, and he needs to take a break from that as well. However, the same courtesy needs to be applied to BOTH of you. If you are a SAHM, and/or you don’t have your own friends, you are relying on HIS interaction with you to be your social fill and that is asking for a lot from a person. He needs to do his part as a parent too, but, realistically, if you both do your part and give each other grace, you both will get your needs taken care of.”
Acham que isto é justo? Porque working shouldn’t be an excuse for not taking care of your family, especially in these important moments. No one wants to be tired but that’s just life. Women are often exhausted but still, no one bothers to ask them if they need a break.
As mães dão tudo de si e sacrificam o corpo, a mente e a alma during 9 months of pregnancy and even after. And dads can’t let go of one night with the boys. Talk about disrespect!
Enquanto alguns pais fazem tudo o que podem pelas suas famílias, outros os homens precisam de ser lembrados de que também devem cuidar dos seus filhos (chocante, não é?). Tudo é mais fácil e mais divertido quando feito em equipa. E a paternidade não é exceção. No final do dia, o trabalho de equipa faz o sonho funcionar.
Por isso, da próxima vez que decidirem ter filhos, ter uma conversa aberta e honesta com o seu parceiro sobre as suas expectativas. Pode surpreender-se com o que alguém considera normal e razoável.
