3 razões pelas quais não se deve namorar para casar

It is perfectly okay if you’re feeling inseguro quanto ao casamento or even know that you don’t want to share your life with another person.

Also, there’s nothing wrong with you if you dream of waking up next to the same man for the rest of your days.

No entanto, uma coisa é o casamento ser algo que se deseja e encontrar uma pessoa adequada.

It’s completely different if it becomes your obsession and the only thing you think about whenever you date someone new.

Times have changed and today, there are hundreds of reasons why you actually shouldn’t date to marry. Here are the most important ones.

1. A prática leva à perfeição

When you think about your dream man, you have an exact picture of how this guy should behave, how he should treat you, how he should look – you have every little detail about him all planned out.

No entanto, como é que pode ter a certeza de que esse homem imaginário é o homem certo para si, a não ser que tente algo e alguém primeiro?

Embora o namoro possa ser doloroso e cansativo, é de facto uma experiência valiosa que pode ensinar algumas lições de vida importantes, especialmente as relacionadas com as relações românticas.

Quando se namora com mais do que um homem errado, it helps you see what you don’t want from a man and  realize what qualities you are looking for.

Sim, as separações e as relações condenadas ao fracasso são difíceis.

Ser abandonado ou ficar preso numa relação tóxica é algo que todos nós queremos evitar, mas esquecemo-nos sempre que até as piores experiências nos podem ensinar muito.

All of it builds you as a person and helps you become the woman you’re destined to be. It helps you see how much you can take and learn a lot about yourself.

However, if you don’t date the men you know you wouldn’t marry from the start, you miss out on all of this.

You deprive yourself of the opportunity to fail – and it’s a well known fact that you can’t expect to succeed unless you fail a few times first.

2. You’ll appear as too desperate

Despite your final goal being finding husband material, you probably don’t go around telling your plans to every man you run into.

I suppose you don’t surprise a guy on your first date with the marriage talk.

However, that doesn’t mean that you’re not giving some subconscious signals that this is the only thing on your mind.

Além disso, o facto é que os homens têm uma forma de perceber quando uma mulher tem o objetivo de os amarrar, o que, na maioria dos casos, os faz correr para salvar a vida.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not telling you to allow any guy to guiar-vos for ages just because you don’t want to appear as overly desperate to get married.

However, if a man senses your vibe and sees that you’re obsessed with entering a serious relationship that would eventually end up in marriage, he’ll feel like you’re trying to trap him and run away before you have the chance to limit his freedom.

Whether you like to hear it or not, most men love spontaneous girls who don’t give out the impression that they have every second of the rest of their lives all planned out.

And if you’re obsessed with tying the knot, in his eyes, you’ll be everything but that.

In fact, he’ll immediately perceive you as a woman too weak to go through life on her own and ready to settle for everything he has to offer – even if it’s less than she deserves – just to finally have a husband.

3. Provoca demasiado stress

Another reason why you shouldn’t only date to marry is your mental health.

If this is the only thing on your mind, every date you go on and every potential relationship you get yourself involved in is a source of stress, instead of it being something you’ll enjoy.

Será que vai falhar? Ou será que desta vez vai resultar?

Como é que seria a minha vida ao lado deste homem? Ele é alguém que consigo imaginar como um potencial pai dos meus filhos?

Estas e muitas outras perguntas começam a passar pela sua cabeça sempre que conhece um rapaz de quem gosta.

Assim, em vez de estar relaxado, a sua ansiedade entra em ação e estraga a experiência de conhecer alguém novo.

Em vez de viver no presente, o pensar demais o seu potencial futuro, o que é a última coisa que deveria estar a fazer.