5 maneiras de se magoar a si própria ao voltar para o seu ex tóxico

Have you ever felt like you’re trapped in an endless circle of love and hate with the guy you know isn’t right for you?

Quando continuas a tentar sair dessa relação tóxica mas, de alguma forma, acabas sempre por ser arrastado de volta para ela?

Well, it’s time for a reality check. It’s time you finally put a stop to these games and to stop going back to the man you have no future with.

And what is a better way of doing so then by coming to terms with all the ways you’re hurting yourself by going back to your toxic ex.

1. O passado persegue-te

Let’s face it—we can’t run away from our past, as much as we’d want to.

Everything we’ve been through up till this date has shaped us into becoming the people we are today and there is nothing you can do to forever erase your past traumas.

No entanto, é muito mais fácil curar-se quando se afasta física e mentalmente da fonte da sua dor.

It is one thing if you’re recovering from the damage someone you’ve cut off caused you and it is something completely different if that person is still a part of your life.

This is exactly what you’ve been trying to do—you’re trying to curar o seu coração ao lado de quem o partiu em primeiro lugar.

Bem, deixem-me rebentar a vossa bolha e dizer-vos que isso é impossível.

2. Começamos a pensar que é isto que merecemos

Depois de passarmos muito tempo ao lado de alguém que nos trata como um monte de merda, com o tempo, começamos a aceitar esse comportamento como padrão e como algo normal.

After a while, you stop seeing the truth: that you’re actually settling for less and you start thinking this is what you deserve.

Somehow, your toxic boyfriend managed to convince you that every other guy will be just like him because you’re the one who’s causing him to be this way.

Your miserable love life and bad mental health are exclusively your fault and you’re the one to blame for everything, right?

3. Dás-lhe permissão para te partir o coração mais uma vez

Quando se continua a dar infinitas segundas oportunidades to someone who clearly doesn’t deserve them and to someone who has hurt you more than once, you’re also giving him an opportunity to do so again.

E quando se trata do seu namorado tóxico, não há dúvida sobre uma coisa: esta é uma oportunidade que ele vai certamente aproveitar.

However, this shouldn’t surprise you, as you were the one who gave him the green light, the permission to keep on breaking your heart.

That is exactly what he’ll continue on doing because by forgiving him, you are indirectly telling him that there is nothing wrong with his behavior and that it is perfectly acceptable.

4. A sua autoestima foi-se

Passar anos num círculo interminável de romper com alguém tóxico e voltar para essa pessoa abala toda a nossa personalidade.

Tudo isto arruína a sua saúde emocional e mental e prejudica a sua autoestima.

This is when the person you love puts all of his efforts into diminishing your worth, into putting you down, holding you back and convincing you that you’re good for nothing.

It doesn’t matter whether this guy emotionally, verbally or even physically abuses you, if he cheats on you or doesn’t give you enough attention—the point is the same.

This guy obviously isn’t aware of your true value and after a while, you start believing that you’re not good enough.

Consequentemente, as suas inseguranças aumentam e diz adeus à sua auto-confiança.

5. Privas-te do verdadeiro amor

One of the saddest things you’re doing to yourself by constantly getting back together with your toxic ex is the fact that you’re depriving yourself of an opportunity to find true love.

Cada dia que fica ao lado desse homem é um dia a menos que tem para conhecer o homem que deve ser seu.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy.

No entanto, posso assegurar-vos que, algures por aí, existe um homem que vos dará todas as o amor que mereces.

Even though you don’t have to actively seek this man, as long as you’re stuck in this unhealthy relationship you aren’t giving your forever person a chance to enter your life.

This way, you’re allowing your toxic boyfriend to ruin your future as well, after doing the same with your past and present.