Quando começamos uma nova relação, normalmente ficamos cegos por essa nova pessoa e não conseguimos ver a sua verdadeira face. Enquanto estamos apaixonados, tendemos a ignorar algumas coisas sobre o nosso parceiro que, mais tarde, acabam por ser um grande problema na relação. Este é um comportamento aceitável quando se é adolescente, mas assim que se entra na casa dos 20 anos, há algumas coisas que devem ser consideradas desde o início de cada nova relação. Aqui estão 6 delas.

1. Ele não está emocionalmente disponível

Existem diferentes tipos de emocionalmente indisponível people. Some of them are simply closed individuals with high walls around them and they don’t want to open up to love. Others are emotionally unavailable because of the amount of emotional baggage they are carrying from something that should have stayed in the past. We all have a romantic past, but having one or more relationships behind you is not the same as taking loads of emotional baggage into a new relationship. Remember, you are no one’s rebound and no one’s shoulder to cry on. If you meet someone who is obviously emotionally unavailable for any possible reason, don’t take it as a challenge and don’t make it your mission to tear down their walls or to help them get over the person before you. This is one of the deal-breakers you should avoid from the start if you don’t want to get yourself hurt in the future.

2. The two of you don’t want the same things from life

When you are entering into a new relationship, nobody can know where things will lead you. And while you shouldn’t make long-term plans right at the beginning, it is always a good idea to have at least one serious talk with your partner. One important thing you need to check is if the two of you are on the same page and if you expect the same things from this relationship. If you are looking for a serious, long-term relationship and he doesn’t want anything serious at the moment and is after a casual fling, or vice versa, you will have a problem and maybe it’s best for the two of you to go your separate ways right away.

3. Ele tem medo de se comprometer

Se um o homem tem medo do compromisso, he will probably tell you so from the very start. But, sadly, many women take this as a challenge, thinking they will be the one to change him and make him a monogamous, faithful man—and this is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. If someone tells you they are not ready for commitment and you are looking for a real relationship, please believe them and walk away immediately. In most cases, guys who say they are not ready for anything serious actually want to have all the benefits of being a boyfriend, but don’t want to have any of the responsibilities and the duties a real relationship brings. Usually, these guys are players and you need to avoid them without a shadow of a doubt. Otherwise, you will spend years waiting for him to come to his senses and that will probably never happen.

4. Ele está a controlar

Quando conhecemos um rapaz que demonstra ciúmes, no início podemos sentir-nos lisonjeados, pensando que é a forma de ele mostrar o quanto gosta de nós e o quanto tem medo de nos perder. E, embora todos nós sejamos ciumentos até certo ponto e um pouco de ciúme possa ser doce, também pode ser um sinal da sua natureza controladora. Se vir que um homem é demasiado possessivo e ciumento desde o início, é provável que ele esteja apenas a preparar o terreno para o seu futuro controlo. Antes de dar por isso, pode encontrar-se numa relação abusiva, por isso é melhor evitar estas coisas desde o início.

5. Ele é manipulador

Outro tipo de homem que deve evitar is the one who is too good to be true. We all have flaws and you shouldn’t allow yourself to be misled by someone who hides his imperfections, while emphasizing yours. Usually, these guys are the ones who recognize your insecurities and use them to manipulate you. In the beginning, they know what it is exactly that you need to hear, but that is all a part of their manipulation. At first, they appear to be perfect, but as time goes by, they show their true colors. But because they are such a good actor, when you get to know their true face, you are usually already madly in love with them and it can be difícil de mover longe deles.

6. Vocês os dois não são compatíveis

The last, but definitely not least deal-breaker you should pay attention to is compatibility. Many women get distracted by the attraction and the passion they feel toward a guy and they don’t pay attention to other important things, such as compatibility. Although the feeling of being in love is important in the beginning and it is something that moves you toward a person, that feeling fades away and is not the basis for a healthy relationship. You should find someone who has the same world views and similar ambitions to you. If you happen to find a guy who puts you through an emotional roller coaster but deep down you know that the two of you are not compatible, maybe it is time to rethink your relationship before it goes any further.