Cuando empezamos una nueva relación, solemos estar cegados por esa nueva persona y no vemos su verdadera cara. Mientras estamos enamorados, tendemos a pasar por alto algunas cosas de nuestra pareja que luego resultan ser un gran problema en la relación. Es un comportamiento aceptable cuando se es adolescente, pero cuando se entra en la veintena, hay algunas cosas que deberían ser decisivas en una relación y que hay que tener en cuenta desde el principio. He aquí 6 de ellas.

1. No está disponible emocionalmente

Existen diferentes tipos de emocionalmente no disponible people. Some of them are simply closed individuals with high walls around them and they don’t want to open up to love. Others are emotionally unavailable because of the amount of emotional baggage they are carrying from something that should have stayed in the past. We all have a romantic past, but having one or more relationships behind you is not the same as taking loads of emotional baggage into a new relationship. Remember, you are no one’s rebound and no one’s shoulder to cry on. If you meet someone who is obviously emotionally unavailable for any possible reason, don’t take it as a challenge and don’t make it your mission to tear down their walls or to help them get over the person before you. This is one of the deal-breakers you should avoid from the start if you don’t want to get yourself hurt in the future.

2. The two of you don’t want the same things from life

When you are entering into a new relationship, nobody can know where things will lead you. And while you shouldn’t make long-term plans right at the beginning, it is always a good idea to have at least one serious talk with your partner. One important thing you need to check is if the two of you are on the same page and if you expect the same things from this relationship. If you are looking for a serious, long-term relationship and he doesn’t want anything serious at the moment and is after a casual fling, or vice versa, you will have a problem and maybe it’s best for the two of you to go your separate ways right away.

3. Tiene miedo al compromiso

Si un el chico tiene miedo al compromiso, he will probably tell you so from the very start. But, sadly, many women take this as a challenge, thinking they will be the one to change him and make him a monogamous, faithful man—and this is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. If someone tells you they are not ready for commitment and you are looking for a real relationship, please believe them and walk away immediately. In most cases, guys who say they are not ready for anything serious actually want to have all the benefits of being a boyfriend, but don’t want to have any of the responsibilities and the duties a real relationship brings. Usually, these guys are players and you need to avoid them without a shadow of a doubt. Otherwise, you will spend years waiting for him to come to his senses and that will probably never happen.

4. Controla

Cuando conoces a un chico que muestra sus celos, al principio puedes sentirte halagada, pensando que es su forma de demostrar cuánto se preocupa por ti y cuánto teme perderte. Y aunque todos somos celosos hasta cierto punto y un poco de celos puede ser dulce, también puede ser un signo de su naturaleza controladora. Si ves que un chico es demasiado posesivo y celoso desde el principio, es probable que sólo esté preparando el terreno para su futuro control. Antes de que te des cuenta, podrías encontrarte en una relación abusiva, así que es mejor evitar estas cosas desde el principio.

5. Es manipulador

Otro tipo de hombre que debe evitar is the one who is too good to be true. We all have flaws and you shouldn’t allow yourself to be misled by someone who hides his imperfections, while emphasizing yours. Usually, these guys are the ones who recognize your insecurities and use them to manipulate you. In the beginning, they know what it is exactly that you need to hear, but that is all a part of their manipulation. At first, they appear to be perfect, but as time goes by, they show their true colors. But because they are such a good actor, when you get to know their true face, you are usually already madly in love with them and it can be difícil de mover lejos de ellos.

6. Los dos no sois compatibles

The last, but definitely not least deal-breaker you should pay attention to is compatibility. Many women get distracted by the attraction and the passion they feel toward a guy and they don’t pay attention to other important things, such as compatibility. Although the feeling of being in love is important in the beginning and it is something that moves you toward a person, that feeling fades away and is not the basis for a healthy relationship. You should find someone who has the same world views and similar ambitions to you. If you happen to find a guy who puts you through an emotional roller coaster but deep down you know that the two of you are not compatible, maybe it is time to rethink your relationship before it goes any further.